Genetics are a funny thing

I’m going to tell you a little story.

My first year of college, I was living in the dorms and my room mate had gone home for the weekend. It was siblings weekend so my brother came up to sleep in the dorm and act like an 18 year old when he was really only 14. I don’t remember doing a lot of horrible stuff. We did have some alcohol, as youths are prone to do when left on their own. For the sake of my brother’s privacy and embarrassment, he will not be named. However, he still thinks this shit is funny, so fuck it, Michael (and I’m your big sister so I’m going to continue to call you Michael and not Mike for the rest of your life…because I can)- you’re about to be outed.

The one thing I do remember from that weekend was that my brother’s feet were THE most vile things I’d ever smelled. I don’t know what his socks were made of but we had to throw them away. We literally took them down the hall and tossed them in the trash can in the hallway.

It didn’t matter though. Whatever chemical reaction that transpired between his disgusting 14 year old feet and those socks, had permeated through the hallway and tainted the very air. I lived on the first floor next to the lobby and all weekend people strode through the lobby and were commenting “What the hell is that smell?”

Well, it was my brother’s feet.

I would also like to point out that I, and to put that into a bit of perspective, can’t smell. It has to be incredibly strong or right up in my face. I’ve literally walked by dead skunks on the road and not smelled them. I, however, distinctly remembering being on the verge of vomiting in the presence of that smell. So, if I was sick over it, what must other people have experienced?

So, what does this, gross but hilarious, story have to do with anything?

Here’s the thing. Genetics are funny. My daughter has inherited that weird stinky feet gene. She’s five! We were washing her sneakers every day. Spraying them with deodorizers. Anything we could think of to get it to stop. You could smell her feet when her shoes were still on. Everything she put her stinky feet on was contaminated. I pulled out her yoga mat the other day to do yoga and the minute I put my face on the mat, I smelled her gross feet.

I started to think that maybe it was her feet but maybe the socks or shoes too. I vaguely remembered that my brother had been wearing a pair of my Dad’s black dress socks. Why? I have no idea. I started investigating her socks. Were they natural fibers? How much polyester was actually in them?

Here’s the thing. Almost all the socks that we were buying and available at my local Target – because that’s the only place I actually go – were all polyester, or spandex, or something else. None of them had any real cotton in them.

Enter Bombas.

These are way more than I ever wanted to pay for any of her socks. But, they are more than 70% cotton. Which has made a world of difference. Her feet haven’t turned into a sewage cesspool since we changed the socks over.

Plus, when you order socks, they donate socks to homeless shelters. It makes me feel like I’m doing something responsible.

I’m giving you a chance to get 25% off. Click the button below if you’re interested.

Full disclosure – I get a kickback if you do…money toward more socks. I’d like to keep my daughter’s feet from stinking up my house, her kindergarten class, my car, and basically any other environment she encounters.

What have we learned here? Well, a few things:

  1. natural fibers are better
  2. Cheaper isn’t always better
  3. You never know what weird shit is going to turn up in your kids

Catching Up – Where Have You Been??

So, I’ve been gone for a while. The world has descended into a dumpster fire of epic proportions. In addition to COVID overwhelming everyone, we were also a bit swamped with everything closing down but still having to work full-time. I still had a book to finish and Scarlett was now spending all her time cooped up in the house with me. People were dying in droves from a disease that most of Washington wanted to ignore or play down.

Then George Floyd and Breonna Taylor were murdered and when you thought it couldn’t get worse, it did. People were marching-are still marching-and the information divide between right wing and left wing was an all out assault. and white people everywhere were either just discovering that black people were mad, or making gestures that wouldn’t really fuel change but made themselves feel better…cause, white people. I didn’t feel like anyone needed another middle aged white women telling the internet how horrible white people are in general. We all know that already. No one really wants to talk about the deep systematic changes that would need to take place to even make a dent in the institutional racism we have in place in this country. I’m sorry to say that breaking it down and rebuilding it all is probably what its going to take. But, our politicians are basically shitty people who are afraid to do anything of real value and California is basically an inferno. Sooooo, there’s that. I know i’m forgetting something because 2020 has basically sucked big donkey balls.

So, in light of all of that. I took a little blog hiatus.

But I feel like it might be time to get back in the habit of entertaining and spreading my joyful and sparkling personality around the faceless, cesspool of the internet.

So, let’s catch up.

First, I finished Residual Magic! Yay!

I’m sorry, I didn’t hear loud enough applause for that miracle of miracles. I. FINISHED. RESIDUAL MAGIC.

It will be released on 10/21/2020. I’ll have links later when it goes up for pre-sale. Look at my sparkly new cover.

Isn’t it pretty!

Anyway. During our time at home, we’ve also tackled a project or two that NEEDED to be done. The basement bathroom for instance.

This is what our crappy bathroom in the basement looked like after we ripped out the moldy vanity. Trust me…it wasn’t a good look

Before

After

This is what it looks like now. Ross and I did it ourselves…for the most part. We did call in a plumber for some work that we weren’t comfortable doing ourselves but all the rest was us.

Yesterday, we also added to our house.

Meet Oliver and Percy.

Percy is very outgoing…Oliver, not so much.

I think that about catches everyone up.

Good luck in 2020! We’re going to need it.

Cover Reveal

I was going to wait a week to post this to give my newsletter peeps a first glimpse. However, I forgot that I scheduled the newsletter to go out with social media postings. So, because I’m an idiot, you get this a week early…

CONGRATS!!

Brittany is a long way from the scared witch who watched a necromancer murder her mother. She’s grown and more powerful than even she realized as the sorceress she truly is. But all the magic in the world doesn’t mean anything if her best friend and werewolf, Everett Cooper, rejects her again. How many times can a person’s heart break? Brittany isn’t willing to find out. So, when another werewolf asks her out on an actual date, she jumps at the invitation.

Caught between two werewolves, Brittany will need all her friends when one of the pack goes missing. But nothing is ever easy, and magic has a cost that they may not be willing to pay. A trail of disappearances follow in Brittany’s wake, as someone tracks her every magical movement. But to what purpose? To what end?

Brittany has been powerful.

Brittany has been patient.

Now, will Brittany be enough to save her friends . . . and the world?

Coming October 2020

HOme Security

We’re currently practicing a Home Alone strategy to home security.

Try and come in the front door. It might be an easy entry but it won’t be silent.

That’s right! That’s the dreaded lego field. And on top of that, we have the slippery-as-fuck magnatiles. Good luck surviving this one.

Here, your entry may be silent but the odds of you cracking your head against something as you tumble are pretty good.

Don’t worry. Once my daughter has caught you, she’s set up a prison for you. She also likes to torture her prisoners by putting them in cages. Oh wait, that’s her in the cage. She’s demonstrating the usefulness of her traps.

ACHIEVEMENTS!!!

Things I’ve done since my last blog post:

  • Drove a car – Scarlett was incredibly excited about going somewhere…anywhere. When we pulled out of the driveway, she screamed, “Mommy, this is so much fun!”
  • Hiked 4.5 miles over two days – this is a mixed bag since I hate the outdoors. However, my energetic daughter had to get out of the house and burn off all the energy she’d been building for the past month and a half.
  • Peed in the woods – don’t ask.
  • Gained another 2 lbs. – This is a total of 9 lbs. So now i’m back to writing EVERYTHING down that I eat. And, God help me, I’m going to have to do something in addition to yoga. Like – GULP – Zumba
  • Thrown a Frisbee. I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever done that.
  • Written 5,000 words and got myself on the downward slope to finishing Residual Magic’s first draft. Anything after that is easy peasy and will move much faster.
  • Been nominated for the Rone 2020 Award. Public voting goes through the 10th. Vote!

Work From Home – Wins and Losses

Things I haven’t done since the work from home order went into effect.

  1. Driven a car in two weeks – hell, been IN a car for two weeks
  2. Worn jewelry – of any kind. Not even my wedding rings.
  3. Listened to an audiobook
  4. Left my neighborhood – hell we’re lucky I’ve left my house
  5. Worn anything that wasn’t yoga pant or jeans – I had to put on jeans to make sure my yoga pants weren’t lying to me. They were.
  6. Been alone. I haven’t been alone in more than a month.

Things I have done since the work from home order went into effect

  1. Played scrabble and won, by the way
  2. Put together a jigsaw puzzle
  3. Marie Kondo’d my drawers – it did not, however, create more space
  4. Got my daughter hooked on UNO – I can’t tell you how excited I am about this
  5. Yoga everyday again
  6. Gained 7 pounds – I’m on my way to the “quarantine 15”
  7. Ordered stamps from the Post Office – did you know if you ordered them online from usps.com, they’ll deliver them to your house?!? Shut the fuck up! This blew my mind and changed my world. I bought dragon stamps, cause why wouldn’t I if I had the option…
  8. Drank and entire pot of coffee EVERY DAY, by myself
  9. Eaten an entire 10 oz bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs – please see point #6 above
  10. Ordered tacos every Tuesday since this started – I have to support my local businesses…right
  11. Actually seen my friends more since I don’t have to leave my house to do it. Thanks Zoom!

So there you have it. What’s your work from home situation been like? What have you done or not done that seem utterly strange or amazing to you?

Things I’ve Accomplished During Self-ISOLATION

The short answer is nothing. Well, that’s not entirely true. I’ve been working from home and finding it more and more difficult to separate my work life from my home life. Which sucks because all it means is that i’m answering emails and IM’s all the damned time and not doing the things I want to do (aka read and write books – more the first one though). But what it also means is that this situation is my HEAVEN. I don’t ever have to leave my house or talk to anyone. Its amazing.

Meanwhile…

I have become curator of all zoom meetings/hang outs between all my colleagues, family, and friends. I’m not sure how this happened since I’m fine with tech stuff but its not like I’m building my own computers or writing code. I think the real reason is that I’m the only one who will actually take the initiative to set it up and that’s a personality failing. I really need to get better at slacking and being less responsible on basically every front.


I have sewn a few Frankenstein masks. These had to be hand sewn because two grown ass adults can’t figure out how the thread the sewing machine correctly. I only made two because Ross still has to go out into the world for his work.And each one took me like 3 hours. I told him if he lost one, I would divorce him. I was only mildly joking about that. I then ordered some from Etsy because I’m not making anymore. This one I did with seam tape because I definitely wasn’t sewing any more.


I finally got my office configured the way I have wanted for the past four years only to have everyone invade it since they are home all day.

Please notice all of the child stuff EVERYWHERE. Coloring books. Headphones. Toys. Chairs or EVERYONE. Also, you may notice that there are lamps on every surface. That would be because there is no overhead lighting and all of those lamps are Ikea lamps and they put out the amount of light a candle would. It’s dark as hell in my office most of the time.


I ordered tile samples to renovate the downstairs bathroom because that’s a hot mess right now.

As i took the above picture, I watched the biggest fucking millipede walk across the floor. I did not engage. I turned off the light and slowly closed the door.

The only issue. They’re all coming in separate packages so they’re trickling in one at a time and it’s very annoying. All of the below pictures and items are from Wayfair.com. Which one do you like best?

5. Two days in a row, we’ve created an obstetrical course on our sidewalk. Two nights in a row, it’s rained and washed it all away. So, there’s that.

this video is crappy but if I got any closer then she would have made me do it too. I’m not doing that.


My house is trashed because my 5 year old daughter is here all day and I’ve gotten to the point where it stresses me out but I don’t know where to start. There’s just so much. When we get our stimulus check, sometime in 2021…the first thing I’m going to do is hire a team of people to deep clean my house. I’m just not capable anymore. I would show you pictures but then I would have to acknowledge the validity of it and do something about it. This is how I cope.


I have also discovered that this “deliver on orders totaling $25” is bullshit! I can’t go to the store you assholes. Just ship me what I want. Why does it matter? Just ship it, charge me for the shipping like you’re going to do anyway and be done with it! If I want to buy $23 worth of Sweetart Ropes and have them shipped, I don’t want any back talk from some stupid retailer about it. Just ship me my shit ton of licorice and be done with it.


I have decided pants with buttons and zippers are stupid.

That is all.

Happy Social Distancing!

Self-Care in a time of Crisis

I haven’t put up a blog in a while. For the most part, its because I haven’t left the house since March 16th. I’m not even joking about that fact. I went to work on March 16th, came home and then OSU was a complete, work from home, situation. I’ve gone out to walk around the block or ride my bike with Scarlett, but that’s about it. I keep reading posts online about how people are getting stir crazy. yeah, I don’t have that problem. Us Gen Xers could live out this pandemic and be the only survivors and never know it because we still wouldn’t leave our house.

So, since I have ZERO content due to the fact that I haven’t left the house in two weeks, I decided to give you an “opportunity”/reason to have a glass of wine.

Self-Care Bingo. You’re welcome!

Not Everyone is Meant to Walk in Darkness

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