Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Dinner Gods have cursed me

I think I’m just done with cooking. This week has been a nightmare. An absolute nightmare.

Monday – This seemed to go okay. I don’t particularly remember what we had but I don’t remember any catastrophes so I’m putting that one in the “win” category.

Tuesday – This is one for the record books. First, I picked up the wrong container from the refrigerator. Instead of Salmon and corn for lunch, I picked up the one that was JUST CORN! Here you go. This was my lunch on Tuesday.

I’m not nearly done. Halfway through the day, I realized that I didn’t put the chicken in the crock-pot for Taco Tuesday. When I get home, it’s mostly thawed, so I decided to give it a good sear and then pop those chicken breasts in the oven. Everything was fine until I pulled the pan from the over and removed the chicken to cut it up. I turned around and grabbed the pan – sans pot holder – and burned the EVER-LOVING-SHIT out of my hand. I had my hand in a bowl of cold water until about 2 am to keep the burning away. This is what my hand looks like three days later…

Let’s move on.

Wednesday – I put the pork and the bbq packet in the crock-pot. I even remembered to turn it on. I did not, however, verify that it was plugged in…because it wasn’t. Fail #3

Thursday – Ross went to Costco and got one of those ready to eat meals – ravioli lasagna. I couldn’t eat it, but whatever it was fine. I got home a little after 5 pm (summer hours – hell yeah!) and he was standing in the kitchen with a defeated look on his face. When I asked him what was wrong he said, “I didn’t realize those things had to cook for like an hour.”

He hadn’t even turned the oven on. At that point we were looking at a 6:30 pm dinner and Scarlett gets in the bath at 7:30 pm. If you can get her to eat, which takes coaxing and sometimes bribing, it could take an hour. So we went out. Then Ross got a call in the middle of dinner saying he had to go back to work, thereby ruining our dinner.

That’s IT! I give up. The dinner gods have cursed me and I’m not going to fight them any more. I’m throwing in the towel.

Mommy’s Day Off

Yesterday, my husband took my daughter and went away. They went to Dayton for the night so that I could have some desperately needed time alone.

I left work, drove up to Polaris and went shopping. I was looking for something specific which means I didn’t find it. Also, even though I lost a whole shit-ton of weight, I still didn’t like the way I looked in any of it. That was my issue and not the items.

After a very disappointing evening of shopping, I took myself out to dinner. I had a glass of wine and enjoyed just sitting there by myself with nothing to do, think about, or even worry about.

When I went home, I had a Netflix and chill evening. What did I watch, you might ask. Well, if you know anything about me, you know it had something to do about serial killers because I’m demented. I watch Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil, and Vile – the Ted Bundy biopic.

I will say this, I’m so proud of Zac Efron. Look at him…going from High School Musical to playing Ted Bundy. He was very impressive. The other issue I have, however, is that the girlfriend had the potential to be a very interesting character but got lost in the Ted Bundy aspect of the movie. I get it, it’s Ted Bundy and that’s what he did but you had the opportunity to really dive down into how damaging Ted Bundy was to her psychologically and her motives for doing what she did and you missed the opportunity.

After the movie, Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes started, cause Netflix knows me.

Also, my jam. I got through an episode and a half before I started drifting off. I’m definitely going back to this one.

There you have it folks. When left to my own devices, I drink wine and watch shows about serial killers. They’ll probably never leave me alone again.

The Long Night

This is the final season of Game of Thrones and I’m sad to see one of my favorite shows end but it’s going out with a bang. I can always depend on GoT not to disappoint.

Caution: there are SPOILERS ahead!!!!

First and foremost, let’s get this out in the open…

Arya! Fucking! Stark!

She has been my favorite since the beginning. The fact that she killed the Night King and NOT Jon Snow was the crowning achievement of my GoT existence. That bitch is fierce and I want to be her when I grow up. Enough said!

If you haven’t seen it…here you go

Now that the shameless gushing over Arya Stark is done, we can move on to other GoT topics.


Okay, what is with the thousand-yard-stare all the time? What is he doing? What is the point of you??? Just because you’re the three-eyed raven doesn’t mean you lose all emotion. It’s just weird. There was all this build-up about the majestic three-eyed raven and his/her importance but you have accomplished absolutely nothing, served no purpose, and have been a waste of a story line. This grand connection to the Night King equated to nothing! Yes, he came after you but he was going to come to Winterfell anyway to kill everyone. You were unnecessary.

On to the tactics of the battle

They. Sucked. What the Actual Fuck are you doing? Lining up all your people to die knowing that you were outnumbered by THE DEAD was incredibly stupid. You wasted the Dothraki and the Unsullied! Now, what are you going to fight Cersei with? A bunch of untrained and lazy white guys from the North Houses? Ummm, nope.

Don’t think I didn’t notice that you sent all the brown people out to die first…cause I did.

Everyone was complaining about how actually dark the episode was, but it was night. The night is going to be dark. That’s kinda how that works. Regardless of that critique, the cinematography in this episode was beautiful. The Dothrakis’ lighted swords riding into the darkness, was incredible.

Since we’re talking tactics, let’s talk about the tactical advantage of a cavalry charge. The main objective is to frighten your opponent into retreating and cut them down from above as they flee. However, if your opponent is 1) dead, 2) has a hive mind mentality, and 3) fear NOTHING, this strategy doesn’t work. You waste horses and men in the slaughter…because zombies.

All the feels

I was on edge this entire episode. Nervous energy shivered through me for 90 fucking minutes. I almost cried when Tyrion kissed Sansa’s hand before both decided to sacrifice themselves into battle – going out to fight the dead waking in the crypt. Please tell me why Sansa Stark is such a bad ass this season…I love it! I kinda wish she’d been this bad ass all eight seasons. The dynamic between these too is amazing, both touching and hilarious.

I could give two shits about Jorah Mormont’s death but Lady Mormont – that tiny badass – killed a fucking giant and it was amazing. That one, I mourned.

Plot Holes

Where the FUCK did Melisandre come from??? Just riding up through the army of the dead, a single rider through the north mysteriously appears to help Winterfell. Where the hell have you been? WHAT?

I can’t wait to see what comes next. Sunday night is my favorite night of the week! LOL

Demented Ideas of Fun

I’m mean and get some sick enjoyment out of torturing people. This week, my torture device is this…

Now, up close, everyone can see that this is clearly fake. However, from the corner of your eye, it’s freaky. And over the past week, I’ve had grown men squeal like a little girl.

It’s been AMAZING!

Everyone knows I have it now. I’ll have to come up with something else.


full circle

So, I think we can all agree that high school is pretty horrible. It’s like an amalgamation of Lord of the Flies meets Mean Girls and I’m pretty sure the girls put the head on the spike in high school. Women are horrible to each other. I’m not sure why. Maybe it dates back to having to compete for the most virile male to breed with for shelter and protection or some ridiculous shit like that. I don’t know and don’t particularly care. The history of gender relations is not relevant to our topic today.

High School Trauma

During my high school years, I basically kept my head down and lived my life. I had friends and I participated in school activities but when I went home, that was it. I didn’t talk to anyone or hang out with people. I needed to decompress from the constant barrage of fuckary that occurred and does occur in any given high school on any given day. Every teen movie ever created has that stereotypical scene of the teen girl talking on the phone non-stop because she’s a girl and can’t help herself…right? Wrong! I locked myself in my room with a television and books and disappeared from the world. As I’ve discussed in previous blog posts, I’m an introverted extrovert which means that I’m comfortable with people I know but find new people, new situations, or just continued exposure to people exhausting. You can image how 8 hours a day of EXPOSURE and maneuvering like I was from House Lannister would wear on me.

During my teen years, especially in a high school as small as mine (my graduating class was 58 people) there wasn’t a lot of room for error. There were only so many people to be friends with and making enemies could destroy – not only your social standing but just your every day life until you graduated. Depending on what year you were, that could be a very long time.

I never pretended to be something I wasn’t. I just didn’t have the energy. I thought about the shit that came out of my mouth and how it might effect me with other people before I said it but that was about it. Also, i found being friends with boys much easier and more satisfying. You either love me or hate me and I don’t give a flying fuck either way. Guys get that and are more accepting of it. Women find it off-putting. I am a pragmatist and a realist but I also value myself. I understand completely where my strengths and faults lie. I am confident in myself and my capabilities. This unnerves some people, makes them uncomfortable, or even dislike me. That’s fine. Your issues are your issues.

On the other hand, for most of my life, I’ve struggled with my weight. Sure there were things about my body that I would have liked to change but I wasn’t going to exercise to do it (as we’ve previously discussed…I HATE EXERCISING!). What this meant was that when people called me fat, it didn’t really bother me. I understood that I was taller, heavier, and just larger than the other girls. It was simply a fact.

Here’s where this comes full circle.

When I was in high school, there was this one particular person – we’ll call her Lucy here – who was HORRIBLE to me. I mean actively shunning me, calling my names to my face (fat cow – you know the usual ones), or talking shit behind my back. For whatever reason – which I didn’t understand at the time – she couldn’t deal with me. She became my arch-nemesis. Quite frankly, I just liked the idea of having an ARCH-NEMESIS! I have problems. You see why I write urban fantasy…

And after high school was over and I moved on with my life, I still remembered how shitty Lucy was to me. It didn’t bother me so much anymore, I had friends. Real friends that I didn’t have to shield my thoughts, remarks, or comments. I could be myself which made all the difference in the world.

Then came facebook.

Facebook is the cesspool of humanity but it’s great for trolling people you used to know. Fast forward 20 years, Lucy and I are facebook friends, mostly because I’m nosy and I need to know everything about everyone.

What I came to realize through Lucy’s many many MANY posts about herself, her depression, her lack of self-worth, and her self-image issues was that it was never about ME. She was a horrible shit to me and possibly others, because of HER issues and no one else’s.

As her daily outpouring of her fragility and the leading questions/posts hoping that others will tell her how great she is or how good she looks populate my feed, I can’t feel anything but sad. I don’t have the energy to hate her anymore. I’m glad that she’s found a way not to hate herself and instead is investing in her own well-being but something about this rankles. There’s no 12 step program for this. There are have been no apologies to the people you’ve hurt and possibly damaged along the way to your enlightenment. I’m glad that you feel better about your self-worth but I think you really need to take a hard look at yourself as a person and realize that you were shitty to people. Maybe that’s what you should be worrying about instead of how your boobs look in a sport’s bra.

Busy. Busy. Busy.

Too. Busy. For. ANYTHING!

My To Do List:

  • one book to write,
  • one book to edit,
  • seven books to review for the prism,
  • blogs to write,
  • a newsletter to write
  • a party to plan
  • a vacation to Disney to plan – okay, I secretly love this one
  • a kid that starts soccer tomorrow,
  • a house to clean,
  • dinners to make,
  • a full-time job,
  • and just about everything else you can imagine.

If you were looking for some witty repertoire or anecdote about how awesome I am . . . cause I am . . . then you are sadly mistaken.

I just don’t have it this week.

Instead, you get a free snippet from the upcoming Amber Ruin. Congratulations!

“You’re definitely getting a treat later,” I whispered. Q’ursha yipped in agreement and I gave him another scratch.

“Should I be jealous?” Dean teased.

“Dunno yet,” I said with a sly grin and Dean growled in response.

Dali reached beneath her cloak and drew out what appeared to be a feather. Long, about the length of my arm and just as wide, the plume was a rich deep red, softening to orange around the edges. Black accents in a constant pattern along the plume made the color dynamic and there at the tip, was the briefest flash of gold. Not yellow or even wheat. It glimmered. The feather was tipped with actual gold.

“What is that?” Isidro asked, a definite tone of awe to his words. The fae could do that, dangle something before you that was so beautiful you’d forget the darkness that lingered beneath the surface to swallow you whole.

“The feather of the Paskunji,” she answered, her voice just as reverent. Whatever this Paskunji was, Dali was just as impressed as Isidro was which wasn’t a good sign.

“Okay,” I said, staring at the woman, not daring to take the feather from her hand until she made it completely necessary. I’m not sure why I was so reluctant to take it from her but I knew in my gut that once I did, there was no going back.

VH1 Nostalgia

Let’s talk about how much I miss some of the shows from VH1. The 1990’s and early 2000’s were clearly VH1’s best years. This was the decade that they actually had shows about music. Here’s the thing, I like music. I listen to it sometimes when I’m not listening to an audiobook (that is my clear preference) but I’m not a music fiend. I had very few tapes and then CD’s. I have zero songs owned now. I don’t pay into a streaming service like Google Play Music or Spotify. I don’t have an iTunes account. That being said, I watched VH1 ALL THE TIME. There were some damned good shows that I loved and couldn’t turn off. They were like crack cocaine.

Let’s talk about Pop Up Video. If you’ve never seen Pop Up Video, your life is less lack luster for it. This was amazing. They’d play a video and give you little nuggets of information along the way; about the video, about something that happened in the video, about the artist or the people in the video. I could watch this for hours and it didn’t even matter if I liked the song or not.

Let’s talk about my favorite VH1 show in the whole wide world…Behind the Music. Again, if you’ve never seen this, Behind the music was a biographical/documentary type show that followed a band from their start to their EPIC demise. That’s the thing about Behind the Music, there wasn’t an episode that didn’t involve drug use, band dysfunction, or someone’s death. Basically, if you were a functioning adult with good a good band dynamic, you couldn’t be on Behind the Music. It was kinda like the 30 for 30 episodes only without the happy or inspirational endings.

If you watch the below episode of Behind the Music in it’s entirety…I completely understand. They’re addictive. Unsolved Mysteries was kind of like that but that’s a topic for another blog.

Evidently, you can watch all episodes of Behind the Music here but you have to sign in for access. I assume that means you have to have an account with VH1. I’m not doing that. Even for Behind the Music. Listen, I already know who’s dead and was on drugs. I lived through it.

All of this dates me. I understand that. However, you can’t question the quality of these shows. Also, I don’t care.

Birthday Party Extravaganza

I promised you pics of the Care Bear Birthday party. And when I promise, I deliver. Let’s start with the decorations – let me preface this entire post by saying that only seven people were there (including myself, Ross, and Scarlett).

This doesn’t look like it’s that bad but that Care Bear banner was EVERYWHERE. I cut out like a gazillion of those little fucking bears. Then I hot glued them to the ribbon, burning several of my fingerprints off in the process. Then it fell off the table as I was knuckles deep in glue which tangled the shit out of it. I think I spent more time untangling the stupid thing than actually putting it together. We also had plates and napkins that I spent waaaaaaay too much money on for paper plates but they were cute as hell and I’m fine with it. Thanks! Yes, that’s real thing. I might have a Rainbow Brite party for myself this July. I’m looking forward to buying over priced plates and cups for my 41st.

Also, I need to point his out because, for some reason, I really liked my rainbow fruit platter.

And yes, those are tiny marshmallows. They’re supposed to be clouds. Don’t judge.

Let’s move on to the cake which really impressed my dad and my father-in-law, not to mention Ross.

This wasn’t the hard part, the cake was really just mixing a bunch of food coloring for the six separate cakes. Here’s where it gets complicated. I iced the layers in a tower of six cakes then rolled it in sprinkles. That’s right, bitches, I rolled that fucker in sprinkles and hoped and prayed that the thing wouldn’t fall apart.

I tried to do clouds on top of the cake with icing but it looked like shit so I scraped it all off and then dropped a shit-ton of sprinkles on top too.

Now, you might think to yourself, this isn’t that bad. You’ve over hyped this thing. Perhaps. I would like to remind you that only four outside people came to this party and it was our parents soooooo, we could have gone with nothing and it still would have been okay. I have a problem but I do love a theme. I refuse to apologize for this. My crazy is my crazy and I own it. I’ll be honest with you, it stresses me out but I secretly love it.

No, Alex Trebek! NO!

This almost broke my heart!

Here’s the thing. I’m 40 years old and I don’t know a world where Alex Trebek doesn’t host Jeopardy. I have been watching Jeopardy for as long as I can remember.

My husband even tried out for Jeopardy. If I hadn’t been expected to deliver Scarlett within the week when he got the invitation to film, he would have gone. Good thing too because that little stinker came on her due date. We’re prompt people.

Here’s the thing though. I understand that Alex Trebek is 78 years old. I understand that he isn’t going to live forever, even though that’s what should happen. If anyone should get the immortality pill, it should be Trebek. Then Jeopardy could go on and on and on FOREVER. However, here’s the thing we need to remember about AT. That man – at the age of 71 – chased down a burglar out of his hotel room in the middle of the night. Because no one steals from AT. NO ONE!

I have the strong belief that if anyone can beat Pancreatic Cancer…it’s this bad ass. Alex Trebek, you kick that cancer’s ass!

Questionable Reading Habits???

I’ve been on a weird dismal kick in my reading habits lately. Twisted psychological thrillers, dystopian – both futuristic and fantasy, and books where the central heroes/heroines are murderers by trade. Each once of these In the last two months, I’ve “read” – aka listened to – the following:

I’m not even sure I should be ashamed of this or what this says about me that I enjoy multiple books about murder and societal collapse over and over and over again. I feel no shame.

They were, each in their turn, AMAZING. The problem I’m running into now is that some of these are series and I’m playing the waiting game with the library or going to have to buy the subsequent audio books because the library doesn’t have them. This angers me! If you’re going to get one in a series – GET THE REST!

If you’d like to know what I’m reading on a regular basis and read my real thoughts about them, subscribe for my newsletter. Once a month, you’ll get a recommendation about a book or two that I loved. Look up there, the sign up for Damsel Newsletter is on the right hand side of EVERY PAGE ON MY WEBSITE!

If you have recommendations of your own, leave them below. I’d love to hear them.