So, Disney was a win. Continue reading I’m Back!
There are a couple of things that I like.
1. I like to eat. I like food. Simple. Complicated. It doesn’t matter. Hence, the post on Wednesday about working out. I’m about 1 for 1 on that front, by the way. Not good.
2. I like Disney. This shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone who has seen my blog posts in the past. I actually post a lot about Disney which is probably sad but I don’t care. I love it.
3. I like weird random countdown lists. It doesn’t matter what they’re about, I will click on them.
“How 24 TV shows cleverly handled their stars’ real-life pregnancies”
“15 of the best #momconfessoins” – This one was particularly funny. I could relate. Especially about eating snacks in the bathroom so their children wouldn’t steal it. Yesterday, Scarlett (who is two, by the way) ate my SALAD instead of the macaroni and cheese she had in front of her. The day before, she ate all my strawberries and whipped cream. Then she wanted the popcorn Ross was eating. Ross just doesn’t eat until he drops her off at daycare in the morning because she eats all of his cereal.
Back to the point.
I understand these lists are nothing but clickbait. I KNOW IT! But I can’t stop myself. I then get annoyed when it takes too long to flip through the pages and really only make it about halfway through any list. I rarely make it to the end. I lack patience.
Plus, now that I’ve stopped following basically all people on Facebook, all that’s left are posts from recipe sites which means I see nothing but food every time I log in. So, I’m basically hungry all day. Disney World posts that are amazing but make me judge myself about why I’m not going to Disney World more regularly. And then finally, the clickbait. These are good for a momentary laugh but I know I’m downloading some horrible malware on my machine. I’m basically playing Russian Roulette with my devices each time I click on one.
But then there is the best one of all when they converge into a single amalgamation of bliss.
“The 15 best foods to eat as Disney World”
I know its been a while since my last blog. For that I apologize. All I can say is that I was ridiculously busy with work, edits for Black Dalliances (#5 in the Blushing Death Series), my trip to Disney, RT, and GRADUATION!
Since so much has gone on in the last few weeks (or six but who’s counting???), I’ll start with Disney this week…as each story should.
We drove from Tampa to Orlando because I had to be in Tampa on business for a day, then the rest of the weekend was mine. By the time we got to Orlando and checked in, Ross and I decided to have a low key afternoon. And as two thirty-something adults with no children the only thing we could do was miniature golf. Yep, I said it, miniature golf. There were lizards EVERYWHERE.
I realize its Florida and practically a swamp so I shouldn’t be surprised by lizards at every turn. I even thought they were cute until one crawled across my flip-flopped foot and that was it for me. No more lizards. Anyway, we tied the first game even though Ross tried to cheat and claimed he “miscounted”. Riiiiiight.
During the second game, I was kicking his ASS until about the 6th or 7th hole. That’s when my epic meltdown commenced. If there was a rock in that course, I hit it, got stuck behind it, or bounce back off of it. He beat me by a lot that second game. We stopped counting.
I don’t say this lightly because I love a lot of places; the Columbus Zoo, Barcelona, my house, and NYC. Anyway, when we entered, they gave us our tickets and then took our digital fingerprints. DIGITAL FINGERPRINTS! We walked away from the entry kiosk and Ross said, “Should I be afraid that I just got bio-screened by Disney?”
I said, “Of course, how else can Disney take over the world?”
Ross made yet another reference to skynet, and we went into the park.
I’m not going to lie. I did run around the Magic Kingdom like a 6 yr old on crack. I’m not ashamed.
The best thing that Disney ever did was create the Disney Experience App. I could track wait times, change my fast pass options, and make reservations. I was kind of addicted. In fact, I didn’t actually delete it. While I’m sitting at my desk, sometimes I like to check the wait times on Peter Pan’s flight just to make my day better.
I bought a pair of Maleficent ears (the last pair in the park…might I add). You may ask why and all I have to say to you is why not? I also bought a pair of the Queen of hearts ears. Again…why not?
Ross rode Space Mountain and Big Thunder Mountain, even though he doesn’t like roller coasters, which made me very proud. We went into every gift shop because secretly, I love gift shops. We rode It’s a Small World which is a psychedelic nightmare. Whatever they were smoking, snorting, sniffing, or ingesting when they thought up that monstrosity, can’t be healthy for you.
I got my picture taken with the white rabbit and I stood in line to do it. Then I made Ross take the picture with me. HA!
He asked, “Are we really standing in line for the White Rabbit?”
I said, “Hell yeah, we are. I love minor secondary characters.”
On day two, we went to Animal Kingdom. The highlight was the 20 minute safari ride which if the animals are participating, they get really close. I might be a little jaded about this park living in Columbus. I thought this was going to be a great big thing and it ended up being kinda meh. Columbus has a great zoo (of which I am a member) and animal park in The Wilds so I see better exhibits all the time. Especially with the new exhibit. Needless to say, I was a little disappointed.
But I digress.
I bought another pair of ears at the Animal Kingdom. Again, because why not? I looked damned cute in them too.
I managed to get Ross on Expedition Everest which is the absolute highlight of this trip. He’s going to be so mad at me but it’s funny. Really…REALLY…funny.
So, as i mentioned, Ross doesn’ t like roller coasters. By the time we were ready for our fast pass, it was lunch time, I was hot and hangry and was willing to skip it. Let it be known that I GAVE HIM AN OUT!
He said, “No. We’re here and if I don’t go on this I’ll never hear the end of it.”
In truth, he was right. I would have hounded him relentlessly for eternity. He knows me so well.
We skipped the the front of the line, which was both a good thing and a bad thing. He didn’t have time to talk himself out of it but he also didn’t have time to prepare. We stood next in line to get in the car and I reached over to rub his back for reassurance. He jumped away from me and said, “Don’t touch me! Just don’t.”
I just giggled and said, “Ok.”
He screamed the entire ride. At some point it goes backwards, it stops to go down the big hill. This is where Ross LOST HIS SHIT! From that point on he buried his head in my shoulder and screamed at the top of his lungs while I giggled like a little girl.
I’ve given you a link to relive Ross’s torture.
When we got off of this ride, Ross was panting and clutching his chest.
I said, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay.”
“Your heart racing?”
“Yeah,” he huffed.
“Adrenaline is racing through you?”
“That’s why people go on roller coasters,” I laughed.
“Adrenaline sucks!” he said and then we got some lunch.
I understand that I’m a 35 year old grown woman. But here’s the thing, I DON’T CARE! I love Disney and I’m not ashamed to say it. My husband, Ross, and I are planning a weekend trip to Disney World and I can’t wait. I’m buying a pair of ears for every damn park we go in and (Ross doesn’t know this yet but) I’m buying at least two Vinylmation figurines. That’s right, Disney’s got me, hook, line, and sinker.
Let’s start with the park. We’ve been to Disneyland, and I was at DisneyWorld when I was little (I don’t really remember it and that might be a sin – I haven’t found it in any scripture anywhere but I’m sure it must be there…right?). In 2010 and 2011, I went to Disneyland twice in a 12 month period and that’s saying something for a girl from Ohio. The time my husband and I went (yeah, that’s right! I went once without him), we spent the day at the magic kingdom and I ran around like a cracked-out six year old. See for yourself!
Ross, on the other hand, was like a 90 year old poop who didn’t know what fun was even when he was a kid. Exhibit A
In fairness to my husband, that was a $10 hamburger. Doesn’t matter though, he still tried like hell not to smile on the tea cups. Who does that? You have to smile on the tea cups! I think its a law.
He can’t fool me though, he’s excited. He bought me this as a Christmas present (both for me and so he can go into sucking-the-fun-out-of-everything poop):
He has our itinerary for each day planned out and this trip is four months away. He’s already dictated the paths through each section of each park and where we need to get fast-passes. This damned thing is 864 pages of craziness that my husband has taken on like it was gospel. Little does he know that his entire plan is going to be blown the hell up as I spend the first two hours of each day going from gift shop to gift shop. Ahahahahaahaha!
Next, I’m obsessed with Disney’s ridiculously ingenious idea, Vinylmation. I LOVE these things. I don’t think Disney needs anymore cult followers but I’ll do my bit by giving you the link. LOL!
I bought one, hoping it was Lucifer from Cinderella because here’s the thing, you don’t know which one you’re getting. So if you don’t get the one you want, you just keep buying them! Well, I got Lucifer and one of the cards from Alice in Wonderland. I had to buy two, it evened up my chances. You would’ve done the same! Don’t judge.
Anyway, I was too excited and Ross poo poo’d my purchase saying that it was a waste of money. I agreed and that was the end of it. A few months after that, I was headed to Polaris Shopping Center and there’s a disney store in the mall. I thought I could sneak in there, see what they had and get one…or two.
I parked and then decided I couldn’t deal with the mall. When I got home, I told Ross about how the idea of the mall and how the thought of going in made me a little anxious and how weird that was. So, a few weeks later, he went and bought me three. THREE!
He came home and in his very stern voice said, “This can’t become a thing!”
I said, “you’re right, honey” and didn’t argue.
Then, for my birthday, he bought me another one. Isn’t he cute?
Then for Christmas, he bought me another two.
So, for not becoming a “thing”, he’s kinda making it a “thing”. That’s why I love my husband! He knows the way to a girls heart.