Tag Archives: #you’rewelcome

Stress Ball

At this moment, I am a raging ball of stress. In the grand scheme of things, there’s a multitude of reasons for this. None of them are terribly important to normal people but I can’t seem to shake it.

1. My daughter’s birthday is right around the corner and I am not prepared for this party. I know it’s only family coming but I’m a crazy person and what you would categorize as an “extra” mom. Examples of things I have done that seem perfectly normal to me that make other people give me epic side-eye.

  • Valentine’s Day goody bags for her school classmates
  • Themed birthday parties as indicated below
  • Had my daughter’s playroom painted
  • I built her a fucking castle

There are times when Ross looks at me and just shakes his head. I’m not sure what the problem is – I mean that’s not true, I understand what he thinks the problem is – I just don’t agree.

For Scarlett’s 5th birthday, she wanted to have a tea party. And I might have gone overboard. I might also have created a menu and had them printed.

The reality is that all this pressure is of my own creation. I understand that. However, it doesn’t make it any less stressful.

2. We are leaving on vacation in a few weeks and I am completely unprepared. Okay, I’m not. However, I feel like I don’t have this shit as together as I usually do and there is a whole bunch of things left undone. I really need this vacation too. If you couldn’t already tell.

3. My house is atrocious and I just don’t have time to clean it. Plus, I don’t want to. So there’s that.

4. I can’t get the people I work with to think bigger than their own little sphere of influence which is making me feel a bit defeated. I’m actually having nightmares about strategic planning and I’m not sure what to do about that. Because, really, who actually has nightmares about strategic planning. I didn’t even know that was possible.

5. Head lice keeps going around her class…AGAIN…and I just want to go in there with a pair of clippers and shave them all. Because there’s a mom or dad out there who isn’t dealing with this properly. Now, I’ve treated her twice for this and I’m not even sure she actually had it but I couldn’t tell and I wasn’t taking the chance.

6. I’m still writing this book. I just can’t seem to get into a groove. I’m at least at 60,000 words. This isn’t the completed word count but it at least passes the threshold for being a book at this point. So, I’ve got that going for me. This is the stressor that is eating away at me in the back of my mind. If I could just get it done, the editing/adding/deleting is so much easier for me. But getting these things into a first rough draft form has become like pulling teeth and I’m not sure why. Plus, it never goes away. There’s always something I have to finish on the horizon. The next Dahlia book. The next Brittany book. What comes after I’m done with all of them? Do I have another one in me?

This is the shit that circles around in my brain non-stop. So, if you ever need a pick-me-up, just remember, you’re probably not as crazy or stress-filled (self-induced or not) as Suzanne.


Forgotten But Not Lost

I need a personal assistant. No really. I know I’ve said this before but I really really do. I can’t remember to do SHIT. I got halfway through my day before I remembered it was Wednesday and I hadn’t posted anything. So, you’re welcome for the very well thought out blog I’m posting today. #whatevs

I have too much stuff going on; professional, authory (that’s a word I just made up, #you’rewelcome), and personal. I keep forgetting that Scarlett has her first swim lesson on Saturday. Now, I know there’s something I have to do but for the life of me I can’t remember what that is until I go into my calendar. I got an email from an RT book convention organizer yesterday to fill out a form for some free publicity (which I still need to do) but I only think about it when I’m in the bathroom. By the time I get back, I’ve promptly forgotten about it again as my mind is swamped with other things.

I realize that I’m getting old. I’m going to be 40 in a couple of months – of which Ross LOVES to remind me. This type of thing is going to happen but doesn’t my brain understand that I’ve got shit to do? Like, for real. I had to start putting things “to do” on my calendar so I would remember. Are you kidding me? My brain used to be a steel trap. At best, we’re talking about a steel sieve at this point.

So, what can you take away from this lament?

  1. I’m getting old.
  2. I’m also getting forgetful but in a weird amnesia kinda way. I know something should be in that space in my mind, I just can’t remember what it is.
  3. I need a personal assistant. A free personal assistant because I don’t have that kinda money. An intern! Is anyone looking for intern credit? I’m willing.
  4. If I make through the day today without getting lost or forgetting my name, we should all count ourselves lucky.

Ready Player One

This is going to be a long one, so get ready…


So, you’ve probably seen a lot of posts about Ready Player One. I didn’t read a whole lot of them because I wanted to draw my own conclusions. I read the book (finished it on Friday) and then saw the movie on Saturday. Now that I’ve had a whole 24 hours to process, there are some . . . things.

The movie, on it’s own, was fun and nostalgic for those of you that grew up in the 80’s and remember all the random crap that you were bombarded with on any given day (hello acid washed jeans, I’m looking in your direction). However, I’m going to say this knowing that this is true 99.9% of the time, the book was better. I know. I know. That’s to be expected. But there are some fundamental issues we need to talk about.

  1. This book was made to be visualized. The pop culture references, music, video games, and movies included in this are all encompassing but you only get a portion. I’m a visual learner so the music references were lost on me, but if I’d heard them, I’d know instantly what was being talked about. Ross, remembers music so some of the film references were lost on him. You see where I’m going with this. Put the entire package together in a visual/auditory medium (aka film or television) and you have the perfect vehicle.

There’s a problem with that though. Two hours isn’t long enough to capture some of the larger themes in the book. Or, really the overall structure which is important but we’ll get to that later.


There’s a question, that they really only touched on at the end in the movie of “humanity”. Over the course of the book, you see the slow marginalization of the real world in Wade Watts as he descends into the Oasis for longer and longer periods of time until he’s basically living his whole life in there. He talks about using a solution to remove all his hair (EVERYWHERE) so that his haptic suit will better conform to his body and pick up his movements. These are things you don’t really get from the movie.

There’s also the issue of vulnerability. The Oasis allows people to present themselves in any fashion they wish, any gender, any race, and species. So, there’s always this question of who you’re really talking to and what they look like. There’s safety in the Avatar. The stakes are high for a real life reveal. You could be talking to someone online for years in the avatar of Christie Brinkley and really be an 80 year old Chinese guy from Beijing. There are high stakes in the reveal of acceptance and community. That is lost in the film since the reveal happens much too early and no real uncertainty on anyone’s part.


The movie included the competition which was key (pun intended). However, the book is told, very much, like a video game. There are level ups, there are weird diversionary levels that you don’t think mean anything but turn our saving your ass in the long run. There are also, failures. You remember Super Mario Bros. 3 (that’s where my references end, btw, cause that’s about the time I stopped playing video games – don’t judge) on World 8 where you could only see the space around the dot that encompassed you, that took me days to beat without skipping it. Not necessarily where Wade Watts is playing an actual video game but his processes, he does this thing again and again until he figures it out or finds the whistle to go around it. It’s nuanced, but important.

There were no mini-bosses, no real challenges to get the keys. Instead of the competition being the center of the story, defeating IOI became the focus. Which yes, you have the ultimate boss in Nolan Sorento but there are tasks and challenges to defeat before ever reaching the final castle and saving Princess Peach. #SuperMarioBros.3 #You’reWelcome #PrincessPeachForever

Ross’s Problem:

The bit with The Shining. OMG! I’m not sure why – actually I do – this got under his skin but IT DID. Some of the games in Ready Player One are actual movies that the avatar are inserted in and have to recite dialogue and function as the character in the scene. Spielberg didn’t quite do that. What he did was take elements of a movie and use them as one of the castle levels for a key.

Now, The Shining did come out in 1980 – that is true – versus the films actually used in the film (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off {1986} and Monty Python’s Holy Grail {1975}), however, there is something sooooo 70’s about it. #ShelleyDuvall. Also, it seems out of place. The pop culture, the movies, everything in it was funny and light. The Shining….that’s way to dark and really sticks out like a sore thumb in the middle of the movie. It’s…weird.

Again, I don’t want to harp on this too much. I think the movie, as a stand alone, was fun and if I went in there without fore knowledge of the book, I would think differently. But as Ross says, this book was written for me and they fucked it up. Actually, I’m throwing “fucked it up” in there. His words were much nicer but I know that’s what he meant. So, there’s that.

I think this would have made a really good Nexflix limit series. You just can’t do it justice in two hours. Shout out to Columbus Ohio though. #Cbus


2016 Explained

This is a Morning Joe disclosure…I’m on vacation at Disney World this week and you’re not. Or, maybe you are and if so, what the fuck are you doing reading my blog. Go get in line for Peter Pan’s Flight, cause it’s looooooong. This blog was pre-scheduled.  Continue reading 2016 Explained