Tag Archives: care bears

Stress Ball

At this moment, I am a raging ball of stress. In the grand scheme of things, there’s a multitude of reasons for this. None of them are terribly important to normal people but I can’t seem to shake it.

1. My daughter’s birthday is right around the corner and I am not prepared for this party. I know it’s only family coming but I’m a crazy person and what you would categorize as an “extra” mom. Examples of things I have done that seem perfectly normal to me that make other people give me epic side-eye.

  • Valentine’s Day goody bags for her school classmates
  • Themed birthday parties as indicated below
  • Had my daughter’s playroom painted
  • I built her a fucking castle

There are times when Ross looks at me and just shakes his head. I’m not sure what the problem is – I mean that’s not true, I understand what he thinks the problem is – I just don’t agree.

For Scarlett’s 5th birthday, she wanted to have a tea party. And I might have gone overboard. I might also have created a menu and had them printed.

The reality is that all this pressure is of my own creation. I understand that. However, it doesn’t make it any less stressful.

2. We are leaving on vacation in a few weeks and I am completely unprepared. Okay, I’m not. However, I feel like I don’t have this shit as together as I usually do and there is a whole bunch of things left undone. I really need this vacation too. If you couldn’t already tell.

3. My house is atrocious and I just don’t have time to clean it. Plus, I don’t want to. So there’s that.

4. I can’t get the people I work with to think bigger than their own little sphere of influence which is making me feel a bit defeated. I’m actually having nightmares about strategic planning and I’m not sure what to do about that. Because, really, who actually has nightmares about strategic planning. I didn’t even know that was possible.

5. Head lice keeps going around her class…AGAIN…and I just want to go in there with a pair of clippers and shave them all. Because there’s a mom or dad out there who isn’t dealing with this properly. Now, I’ve treated her twice for this and I’m not even sure she actually had it but I couldn’t tell and I wasn’t taking the chance.

6. I’m still writing this book. I just can’t seem to get into a groove. I’m at least at 60,000 words. This isn’t the completed word count but it at least passes the threshold for being a book at this point. So, I’ve got that going for me. This is the stressor that is eating away at me in the back of my mind. If I could just get it done, the editing/adding/deleting is so much easier for me. But getting these things into a first rough draft form has become like pulling teeth and I’m not sure why. Plus, it never goes away. There’s always something I have to finish on the horizon. The next Dahlia book. The next Brittany book. What comes after I’m done with all of them? Do I have another one in me?

This is the shit that circles around in my brain non-stop. So, if you ever need a pick-me-up, just remember, you’re probably not as crazy or stress-filled (self-induced or not) as Suzanne.

#you’rewelcome

Birthday Party Extravaganza

I promised you pics of the Care Bear Birthday party. And when I promise, I deliver. Let’s start with the decorations – let me preface this entire post by saying that only seven people were there (including myself, Ross, and Scarlett).

This doesn’t look like it’s that bad but that Care Bear banner was EVERYWHERE. I cut out like a gazillion of those little fucking bears. Then I hot glued them to the ribbon, burning several of my fingerprints off in the process. Then it fell off the table as I was knuckles deep in glue which tangled the shit out of it. I think I spent more time untangling the stupid thing than actually putting it together. We also had plates and napkins that I spent waaaaaaay too much money on for paper plates but they were cute as hell and I’m fine with it. Thanks hardtofindpartysupplies.com! Yes, that’s real thing. I might have a Rainbow Brite party for myself this July. I’m looking forward to buying over priced plates and cups for my 41st.

Also, I need to point his out because, for some reason, I really liked my rainbow fruit platter.

And yes, those are tiny marshmallows. They’re supposed to be clouds. Don’t judge.

Let’s move on to the cake which really impressed my dad and my father-in-law, not to mention Ross.

This wasn’t the hard part, the cake was really just mixing a bunch of food coloring for the six separate cakes. Here’s where it gets complicated. I iced the layers in a tower of six cakes then rolled it in sprinkles. That’s right, bitches, I rolled that fucker in sprinkles and hoped and prayed that the thing wouldn’t fall apart.

I tried to do clouds on top of the cake with icing but it looked like shit so I scraped it all off and then dropped a shit-ton of sprinkles on top too.

Now, you might think to yourself, this isn’t that bad. You’ve over hyped this thing. Perhaps. I would like to remind you that only four outside people came to this party and it was our parents soooooo, we could have gone with nothing and it still would have been okay. I have a problem but I do love a theme. I refuse to apologize for this. My crazy is my crazy and I own it. I’ll be honest with you, it stresses me out but I secretly love it.

Halloween

This week was Halloween. I was sick but that didn’t stop the shenanigans. Also, it rained the whole time. So there was that.

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We didn’t go full out like last year.

Last year we went too far.

We did, however, partake in the theme. Notice the Pizza Planet shirts to Scarlett’s Jesse from Toy Story. That’s right! I made that wig and as I predicted, it lasted about 20 minutes. The pants were too long so when she came back from trick-or-treating, her pants were soaked up to her knees. That costume, by the way, is hand wash only. Perfect.

But she had a ton of fun, calling all the kids who came up to the house “customers”. She also calls Ross a shopkeeper. I’m not even sure where she picked that up. I’m still lobbying for Care Bear costumes so that I can just wear a sweatsuit and some ears. That would be amazing.

 

Mother’s Day

Well, it was an eventful day – I’ll say that. First, I got an awesome present from my husband and my daughter.

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That’s right. I got a shit-ton of Care Bear funkos. They’re in my office and, that’s right, I almost have a full Care Bear Stare going on.

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Then Scarlett and I drove 2.5 hours to get lost at Atwood lake, searching for a restaurant with no signage. While driving back and forth looking for this marina, I almost ran over a couple of Mennonite children in my anger and frustration. After lunch, Scarlett got covered in mud and blood at the lake side as she ran back and forth through jagged rocks along the shore. Then we went to a playground where I went in search of a water fountain and instead slipped down a hill and through a crap ton of mud, ruining my pants. My WHITE pants.  I washed them twice. They’re done.

When we got home, 2.5 hours later, Scarlett needed doused in hydrogen peroxide, and then scrubbed from head to toe. I also had to take a bath in hydrogen peroxide and change my clothes, then do two loads of laundry.

Meanwhile, these are the texts I got from Ross (at home) while we were out.Screenshot_20180514-085441_Messages

I’d like to draw your attention to the picture with the feet propped up and the soccer game on the television. #happymothersday indeed!

Burnley FC lost in the last minutes of the game so that makes me feel a little bit better.