I know its been a while since my last blog. For that I apologize. All I can say is that I was ridiculously busy with work, edits for Black Dalliances (#5 in the Blushing Death Series), my trip to Disney, RT, and GRADUATION!

Since so much has gone on in the last few weeks (or six but who’s counting???), I’ll start with Disney this week…as each story should.

We drove from Tampa to Orlando because I had to be in Tampa on business for a day, then the rest of the weekend was mine. By the time we got to Orlando and checked in, Ross and I decided to have a low key afternoon. And as two thirty-something adults with no children the only thing we could do was miniature golf. Yep, I said it, miniature golf. There were lizards EVERYWHERE.

I realize its Florida and practically a swamp so I shouldn’t be surprised by lizards at every turn. I even thought they were cute until one crawled across my flip-flopped foot and that was it for me. No more lizards. Anyway, we tied the first game even though Ross tried to cheat and claimed he “miscounted”. Riiiiiight.

During the second game, I was kicking his ASS until about the 6th or 7th hole. That’s when my epic meltdown commenced. If there was a rock in that course, I hit it, got stuck behind it, or bounce back off of it. He beat me by a lot that second game. We stopped counting.

The next day, we went to Disney’s MAGIC KINGDOM which might be my favorite place on the planet.

I don’t say this lightly because I love a lot of places; the Columbus Zoo, Barcelona, my house, and NYC. Anyway, when we entered, they gave us our tickets and then took our digital fingerprints. DIGITAL FINGERPRINTS! We walked away from the entry kiosk and Ross said, “Should I be afraid that I just got bio-screened by Disney?”

I said, “Of course, how else can Disney take over the world?”

Ross made yet another reference to skynet, and we went into the park.

I’m not going to lie. I did run around the Magic Kingdom like a 6 yr old on crack. I’m not ashamed.

The best thing that Disney ever did was create the Disney Experience App. I could track wait times, change my fast pass options, and make reservations. I was kind of addicted. In fact, I didn’t actually delete it. While I’m sitting at my desk, sometimes I like to check the wait times on Peter Pan’s flight just to make my day better.

I bought a pair of Maleficent ears (the last pair in the park…might I add). You may ask why and all I have to say to you is why not? I also bought a pair of the Queen of hearts ears. Again…why not?

Ross rode Space Mountain and Big Thunder Mountain, even though he doesn’t like roller coasters, which made me very proud. We went into every gift shop because secretly, I love gift shops. We rode It’s a Small World which is a psychedelic nightmare. Whatever they were smoking, snorting, sniffing, or ingesting when they thought up that monstrosity, can’t be healthy for you.

I got my picture taken with the white rabbit and I stood in line to do it. Then I made Ross take the picture with me. HA!

He asked, “Are we really standing in line for the White Rabbit?”

I said, “Hell yeah, we are. I love minor secondary characters.”

On day two, we went to Animal Kingdom. The highlight was the 20 minute safari ride which if the animals are participating, they get really close. I might be a little jaded about this park living in Columbus. I thought this was going to be a great big thing and it ended up being kinda meh. Columbus has a great zoo (of which I am a member) and animal park in The Wilds so I see better exhibits all the time.  Especially with the new exhibit. Needless to say, I was a little disappointed.

But I digress.

I bought another pair of ears at the Animal Kingdom. Again, because why not? I looked damned cute in them too.

I managed to get Ross on Expedition Everest which is the absolute highlight of this trip. He’s going to be so mad at me but it’s funny. Really…REALLY…funny.

So, as i mentioned, Ross doesn’ t like roller coasters. By the time we were ready for our fast pass, it was lunch time, I was hot and hangry and was willing to skip it. Let it be known that I GAVE HIM AN OUT!

He said, “No. We’re here and if I don’t go on this I’ll never hear the end of it.”

In truth, he was right. I would have hounded him relentlessly for eternity. He knows me so well.

We skipped the the front of the line, which was both a good thing and a bad thing. He didn’t have time to talk himself out of it but he also didn’t have time to prepare. We stood next in line to get in the car and I reached over to rub his back for reassurance. He jumped away from me and said, “Don’t touch me! Just don’t.”

I just giggled and said, “Ok.”

He screamed the entire ride. At some point it goes backwards, it stops to go down the big hill. This is where Ross LOST HIS SHIT! From that point on he buried his head in my shoulder and screamed at the top of his lungs while I giggled like a little girl.

I’ve given you a link to relive Ross’s torture.

When we got off of this ride, Ross was panting and clutching his chest.

I said, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Your heart racing?”

“Yeah,” he huffed.

“Adrenaline is racing through you?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s why people go on roller coasters,” I laughed.

“Adrenaline sucks!”  he said and then we got some lunch.