Tag Archives: Beauty and the Beast

Uncategorized

Ray is the worst Disney Death Ever

1 Comment

Our router got fried at some point on Saturday. What this means is that we don’t have Wifi or cable until Tuesday. This is a problem. We’d managed to go all day yesterday, entertaining the toddler until around dinner time when we were both exhausted. We decided to put in a movie. Thankfully, we managed to talk her out of all versions of Toy Story. I can’t watch it again. I need a serious break from Woody, Jessie, and Buzz. I just do. Watching this began a conversation that has happened many times but needs to be addressed again.

Why does Disney feel the need to kill everyone’s parents? Why?

At first, you may think, there aren’t that many…

You would be wrong. Let’s go through the list.

  1. Snow White – both parents are dead
  2. Cinderella – Both parents are dead
  3. The Little Mermaid – Dead Mother
  4. Moana – Dead Grandmother
  5. Lilo & Stitch – Both parents are dead
  6. Lion King – Mufasa! NOOOOOOO! DEAD!
  7. Frozen – Both parents dead
  8. Beauty and the Beast – Dead Mother
  9. Aladdin – Who the fuck knows. I’m going with Dead.
  10. Toy Story – Where is Andy’s Dad? No one knows.
  11. Finding Nemo – Dead Mother
  12. Princess and the Frog – Dead Father
  13. Pocahontas – Dead Mother
  14. Tarzan – Both Parents are Dead
  15. Sword in the Stone – Both Parents are Dead

That’s a lot! I mean, come on. They had to start doing movies about inanimate objects just to get around some of this. Coco is all about death.

This has a point, I promise. One of the worst deaths to ever hit a Disney movie is Ray the lightning bug in the Princess and the Frog.

This was about the point where my daughter started screaming “Don’t step on him!” from atop her cozy coupe.

 

If this doesn’t have you all teary then I don’t know what could reach your icy black heart. And this is coming from someone with an icy black heart. Just sayin’.

I went to see this movie in the theater, by myself. Yes, cause I’m that big of a Disney fan. I remember thinking that Ray’s death was a bit harsh but looking at the list above, I’m starting to think I should have been expecting it.

Uncategorized

Ross is Beauty and I am the Beast!?!

Leave a comment

So last night, we were sitting on the couch and reading stories to Scarlett. I asked her if she was a princess. This is how the conversation went:

Scarlett: “Nooo”

Me:  “Am I a Princess?”

Scarlett:  “Nooo”

Me: “Is Daddy a Princess?”

Scarlett: “Yes”

At this point both Ross and I laughed. It was funny. Especially since she seemed so excited about the prospect of Daddy being a princess.

Me: “Does Daddy live in a castle?”

Scarlett: “Yes”

Me: “What’s Daddy’s Princess name?”

Scarlett: “Belle”

Now, this sounded a lot like Beyell but I got the gist. Ross laughed.

Ross: “That sounds about right. I’m a bookish, I’m pretty, and I suffer for a mild case of Stockholm Syndrome.”

Me: “Ha ha, and you’re married to a beast. But hey, wait, does that mean I get a Mrs. Potts? I could use a CGI tea pot to cook and clean for me.”

Ross: “Plus, the musical numbers.”

I know this is a ridiculous conversation. One of many we have at our house. We entertain ourselves. But there is some merit here.

  1. Ross and I both love a library and are incredibly bookish/nerdy people.
  2. Although he doesn’t have an eccentric inventor for a father, we do have an entire room in our basement devoted to trains. Make of that what you will
  3. He likes to dance. Ballgowns aside.
  4. He’s married to an antisocial, brusque individual who doesn’t like others

There are, however, some things going against him.

  1. He can’t carry a tune to save his life.
  2. He prefers non-fiction instead of fiction. Unless it’s a Scandinavian detective novel, then all bets are off.
  3. If he disappeared, people would care and look for him. Even if he did disappear into a distant castle that everyone has seemed to forget about.

As for me, here is the comparison.

  1. I am antisocial and don’t really like to leave my house.
  2. I often talk to inanimate objects with the expectation that they will hear me and do what I say. Who doesn’t?
  3. I am uncomfortable in new social situations and with new people.
  4. I have been known to roar on occasion

There are some things going against me too.

  1. I am not a wealthy aristocrat. That would be awesome, however. I would definitely like a castle of my own.
  2. I’m not that hairy. I mean, neither was he in the end but that’s neither here nor there.
  3. I, in fact, do not have a Mrs. Potts to cook and clean for me. I’m very disappointed with that fact.
  4. Honestly, the beast might be a better dancer than me. I literally have no rhythm or coordination.
  5. And finally, I like to bathe. So the hygiene thing is definitely a difference between us.

So, there you have it. Ross as the Beauty in our relationship and me as the Beast. I can’t even say that I’m surprised or offended. I’m not sure what that says about me.

Uncategorized

Beauty and the Beast

Leave a comment

I’m 38 and I’m way too excited for this movie. Way too excited. Let’s be honest, I was 13 when the original cartoon came out in 1991. Just old enough to have been indoctrinated with the lovable characters and remember all the songs by heart. Still singing them today, by the way. The Little Mermaid (which I can also sing by heart, btw) and Beauty and the Beast were the first Disney movies set up like a Broadway show. It’s effective! Just look at the opening number.

 

This is amazing and told little girls everywhere that it was okay to read and be smart. There’s something about this movie that resonates with me and has carved a place in my psyche that I’m not sure can be replaced.

Ross keeps asking why Disney feels the need to make live action movies of their classic cartoons. My simple answer is – because they can. If you could make a bazillion dollars off of an already known commodity, wouldn’t you? The simple answer is yes.

There’s something else though. You have an entire generation of women who didn’t get this movie rooted into their brains like the a tapeworm that just won’t let go. You do, however, have that same generation which has grown up with Emma Watson and Hermoine Granger. Harry Potter influenced an entirely new generation of young girls. Thank you J.K. Rowling for showing an entirely new generation that smart, pushy women were cool. That’s right, I’m giving her a shout out. And combining the two into one movie, is frankly, GENIUS.

Not to mention, the trailer looks amazing. That’s all I have to say.