Tag Archives: Moana

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The Rock

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Okay, so we all know that Tom Hanks is a fine actor and that Denzel is . . . well . . . Denzel. But, I’m going to make a bold statement here – and stick with me on this one – I think that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson may be the greatest actor of our time.

I know. I know. You’re probably screaming at the screen right now. But Suzanne, how can you be serious? We’re talking about “THE ROCK”! I get it. I really do. And it would be a justified question. However, I’d like to make a case for my assertion.

His body of work doesn’t necessarily preclude one to think “wow, that guy’s a great actor”. He’s not doing period dramas or World War II epics. He’s doing comedies and as anyone who has tried to do comedy and failed . . . comedy is hard.

This clip from Jumanji is a great example. He’s supposed to be playing a skinny white kid embodied in the “superman” form.

Actually, Jack Black was also amazing in this movie, playing a teenage girl.

Dwayne Johnson also has musical talent. Does anyone really need reminded of Moana? Oh wait, clearly you do. Good luck getting this one out of your head.

Honestly, I think Moana might be my favorite Disney movie. The message is great for little girls, the music is incredible (thanks Lin-Manuel Miranda), and it’s completely underrated.

So, comedy and muscial talent isn’t your thing. If it’s a swing toward the dramatic that may sway you, let’s look at Ballers on HBO first.

I’m going to be honest. I’ve never actually seen this show. I wanted to and that should count for something. Shouldn’t it? I just don’t have time to watch. . . ANYTHING. I have to put Outlander and Game of Thrones on my Calendar for Christ’s sakes. You should see my Netflix list. Jessica Jones has been on it for a hot minute. Shit, I’ve had things in the DVR for years. I’ve gone off the rails. My point is that I’ve wanted to watch it from the start but haven’t found the time. Mostly, because of The Rock.

I think my favorite, by far, is Be Cool. This was a crap movie and should not have been made in the first place but there were a couple of standouts. 1. Andre 3000 (aka Andre Benjamin) as Dabu and 2. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. These two are the only reason I ever watch this movie. And I’m sorry to say that I’ve seen it more than once. Actually, I’m pretty ashamed to admit that, especially in writing because John Travolta is HORRIBLE!

I’ve managed to convince Ross of my argument about Dwayne Johnson. Just think about it for a minute. Are you convinced?

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Ray is the worst Disney Death Ever

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Our router got fried at some point on Saturday. What this means is that we don’t have Wifi or cable until Tuesday. This is a problem. We’d managed to go all day yesterday, entertaining the toddler until around dinner time when we were both exhausted. We decided to put in a movie. Thankfully, we managed to talk her out of all versions of Toy Story. I can’t watch it again. I need a serious break from Woody, Jessie, and Buzz. I just do. Watching this began a conversation that has happened many times but needs to be addressed again.

Why does Disney feel the need to kill everyone’s parents? Why?

At first, you may think, there aren’t that many…

You would be wrong. Let’s go through the list.

  1. Snow White – both parents are dead
  2. Cinderella – Both parents are dead
  3. The Little Mermaid – Dead Mother
  4. Moana – Dead Grandmother
  5. Lilo & Stitch – Both parents are dead
  6. Lion King – Mufasa! NOOOOOOO! DEAD!
  7. Frozen – Both parents dead
  8. Beauty and the Beast – Dead Mother
  9. Aladdin – Who the fuck knows. I’m going with Dead.
  10. Toy Story – Where is Andy’s Dad? No one knows.
  11. Finding Nemo – Dead Mother
  12. Princess and the Frog – Dead Father
  13. Pocahontas – Dead Mother
  14. Tarzan – Both Parents are Dead
  15. Sword in the Stone – Both Parents are Dead

That’s a lot! I mean, come on. They had to start doing movies about inanimate objects just to get around some of this. Coco is all about death.

This has a point, I promise. One of the worst deaths to ever hit a Disney movie is Ray the lightning bug in the Princess and the Frog.

This was about the point where my daughter started screaming “Don’t step on him!” from atop her cozy coupe.

 

If this doesn’t have you all teary then I don’t know what could reach your icy black heart. And this is coming from someone with an icy black heart. Just sayin’.

I went to see this movie in the theater, by myself. Yes, cause I’m that big of a Disney fan. I remember thinking that Ray’s death was a bit harsh but looking at the list above, I’m starting to think I should have been expecting it.