Tag Archives: DC Comics

DC Rabbit Hole

I have gone down a rabbit hole. When we signed up for HBOMax at the beginning of 2021 . . . I think-we had HBOgo before that-I uncovered a whole world of DC media. Yes, of course the movies were in there but those all suck. God, why can’t DC get that shit right? However, the wealth of content is actully in the animated stuff. There’s so much there and it’s really good.

First, Ross and I rewatched all of Batman the Animated Series. It holds up. I will to this day argue that the BEST Batman/Bruce Wayne is Kevin Conroy. Change my mind. Top tip, you won’t.

Then we moved onto the Justice League and Justice League Unlimited. There are several things I learned from this. Hawkgirl is basically DC’s version of the Hulk. There were many times while watching this that Ross or myself would call out, “Hawkgirl smash”. This was fun, like a drinking game only with tired, grown-ass-adults with nothing better to do. We also are still doing that everytime Batman uses his grappling hook. Calling this out each time is theraputic for some reason. I also find it really cute when Superman acts like he’s in charge. We all know he isn’t.

Also, I just find the fact that Batman is a father delightful. Justified that Batman/Bruce Wayne is the WORST parent on the face of the planet and makes extremely questionable parenting decisions, like taking children out to fight crime (for one). This did, in fact, get one of the Robin’s killed. So, let’s keep that in mind but watching him try to be a regular parent is hilarious.

I can’t watch this enough. This is just plain hilarious. This will never stop being funny.

We should move on to one of my favorite DC characters. No, its not Wonder Woman. I personally find WW a bit one dementional like Superman. No, my favorite is not a hero (although Batman and Damian Wayne, really ride that hero/villain line). Of course my favorite is a villain. I LOVE and I mean in an obcessive kinda way, Harley Quinn. I own a Harley Quinn blazer for fuck’s sake. Its amazing. I wear it to work. I give zero fucks about fangirling hard at work. I’m also glad that DC realized the wonderful asset they had in Harley Quinn and Margot Robbie. That character might be the only reason people are still watching Suicide Squad. Again, prove me wrong.

Harley Quinn series is amazing. The Bane jokes alone are worth the watch.

The weird, long forgotten villains like Condiment King (cause why was this ever a thing), Kite Man (yes, this is an actual villain in DC), and Queen of Fables (so weird that someone not only thought this one up but that it was actually a thing) make appearances. God, no wonder they keep using Darkseid. Most of DC’s villains are just so fucking dumb.

If you haven’t watched Batman and Harley Quinn, please do so. I have never cackled so hard as when Harley farted in the Batmobile. OMG, I wanted to die my stomach hurt so much. I’ve plopped the trailer in here for your enjoyment.

We couldn’t watch Batman Beyond. I just couldn’t deal with it. Although, old and craggly Bruce Wayne was a pleasure. Even in his dotage, Bruce Wayne is a complete and utter asshat. I love it.

We’re currently working our way through The Batman. it was on cartoon network a while ago and I can’t figure out why everyone was drawn with GIGANTIC finger tips and faces that look like they’ve been punched in. Now, I don’t even refer to it by name. I just ask, are we watching Punchy Faced Batman? Also, why is the Joker barefoot? WHY? I’ve included the intro.

Ross keeps making fun of me that I’ve disappeared down this rabbit hole. I’ll be honest with you, considering my last post and the shit shows I deal with everyday, I can’t deal with heavy drama at the moment. I like knowing that Batman is always going to kickass and that the bad guys will get what’s coming to them. Superhero cartoons make me happy at the moment. I’m sure I’ll get tired of it but right now, its just hitting the spot.

Hi Aquaman!

Ross and I finally watched Aquaman. And I’m going to apologize up front. There are going to be a lot of ‘fuck’s’ in this post. Skip now if you are offended by bad language.

Okay. What. The. Actual. Fuck? What is wrong with you DC? Why can’t you seem to get this shit right. It is, honestly, not that hard. First, don’t throw every-fucking-thing you have at the first movie. It’s called self editing. Try it. This movie was way too complicated, especially for a minor character that is kinda stupid. Aquaman talks to fishes for fuck’s sake; not the coolest power on the planet. Not only did we throw the Ocean Master into the mix, but Black Manta too. It’s too fucking much! Pick one and build toward the other. They’re called Easter Eggs folks. Tease people with what’s to come and foreshadow. It’s like you guys don’t actually know how to tell a story.

I’m not even sure what the purpose of Black Manta was. There was a fight scene in the middle of the movie that was completely unnecessary.

There were the different tribes under the ocean that were really hard to keep track of because like 12 people actually care about Aquaman. Also, there were crab people.

The dialogue was HORRIBLE. I cannot express to you the ridiculousness of the dialogue. There were points in the movie where I actually cringed. We’re talking Revenge of the Sith horrible.

Last, but definitely not least, Jason Momoa might be the coolest guy on the planet. This statement came from Ross, by the way. He’s married to Lisa Bonet (who is also cool as shit). He can wear a pink, crushed-velvet tuxedo and kill it. He wore a tank top to the Golden Globes and it was AWESOME. And even Jason Momoa wasn’t enough to make Aquaman cool or fix all of DC’s overly complicated world-building and plot holes.

Why are there always dinosaurs at the center of the Earth. I seriously don’t understand this.

Also, there were a shit ton of those trench dwellers. What the fuck were they eating? If their food sources ran out, wouldn’t they search out more out into the open oceans? Also, those fuckers climbed up onto a random boat and attacked Aquaman. Are you telling me that absolutely no other boats went into that part of the sea? These weird-ass demon creatures from the deep never got noticed from any other boats. No boats disappeared in this area for a very VERY long time that would have alerted the surface world to a “problem”? WHAT IS GOING ON? How do you fuck up a story this badly?

In all of this, I just feel bad for Jason Momoa.