Tag Archives: zombies

The Long Night

This is the final season of Game of Thrones and I’m sad to see one of my favorite shows end but it’s going out with a bang. I can always depend on GoT not to disappoint.

Caution: there are SPOILERS ahead!!!!

First and foremost, let’s get this out in the open…

Arya! Fucking! Stark!

She has been my favorite since the beginning. The fact that she killed the Night King and NOT Jon Snow was the crowning achievement of my GoT existence. That bitch is fierce and I want to be her when I grow up. Enough said!

If you haven’t seen it…here you go

Now that the shameless gushing over Arya Stark is done, we can move on to other GoT topics.


Okay, what is with the thousand-yard-stare all the time? What is he doing? What is the point of you??? Just because you’re the three-eyed raven doesn’t mean you lose all emotion. It’s just weird. There was all this build-up about the majestic three-eyed raven and his/her importance but you have accomplished absolutely nothing, served no purpose, and have been a waste of a story line. This grand connection to the Night King equated to nothing! Yes, he came after you but he was going to come to Winterfell anyway to kill everyone. You were unnecessary.

On to the tactics of the battle

They. Sucked. What the Actual Fuck are you doing? Lining up all your people to die knowing that you were outnumbered by THE DEAD was incredibly stupid. You wasted the Dothraki and the Unsullied! Now, what are you going to fight Cersei with? A bunch of untrained and lazy white guys from the North Houses? Ummm, nope.

Don’t think I didn’t notice that you sent all the brown people out to die first…cause I did.

Everyone was complaining about how actually dark the episode was, but it was night. The night is going to be dark. That’s kinda how that works. Regardless of that critique, the cinematography in this episode was beautiful. The Dothrakis’ lighted swords riding into the darkness, was incredible.

Since we’re talking tactics, let’s talk about the tactical advantage of a cavalry charge. The main objective is to frighten your opponent into retreating and cut them down from above as they flee. However, if your opponent is 1) dead, 2) has a hive mind mentality, and 3) fear NOTHING, this strategy doesn’t work. You waste horses and men in the slaughter…because zombies.

All the feels

I was on edge this entire episode. Nervous energy shivered through me for 90 fucking minutes. I almost cried when Tyrion kissed Sansa’s hand before both decided to sacrifice themselves into battle – going out to fight the dead waking in the crypt. Please tell me why Sansa Stark is such a bad ass this season…I love it! I kinda wish she’d been this bad ass all eight seasons. The dynamic between these too is amazing, both touching and hilarious.

I could give two shits about Jorah Mormont’s death but Lady Mormont – that tiny badass – killed a fucking giant and it was amazing. That one, I mourned.

Plot Holes

Where the FUCK did Melisandre come from??? Just riding up through the army of the dead, a single rider through the north mysteriously appears to help Winterfell. Where the hell have you been? WHAT?

I can’t wait to see what comes next. Sunday night is my favorite night of the week! LOL

I Love the Crazies!

I know this is going to sound weird but I love crazy people. Ross would argue that I’m one of them but my crazy is entirely different than the tin foil hat wearing kind of crazy. I’m more of a hyper focused, everything-must-be-exactly-the-way-I-want-it kinda crazy.

I knew a woman who horded nothing but dried beans in her basement.

I know a woman who bought a fire ladder for her new house but didn’t buy furniture. This is you Della! She also has a “go bag” encase she has to skip town in a hurry. The dog she now owns, however, makes that more difficult. I’m sure she has a go bag for the dog too.

I once worked with a woman who was eccentric to say the least. In a single afternoon, I overheard some of the best statements of my life.

1. “Maybe I’ll see bigfoot this weekend when we go camping”
2. “I think the full moon made my dogs crazy”
3. “I would like to meet some aliens” (This was in reference to extraterrestrial aliens, not foreign aliens – although space aliens would fall under both categories. So, there’s that.)

These were actual quotes from three separate conversations. However, the best conversation I ever had with this particular woman was about her fear of taking a boat onto Lake Erie. I know what you’re thinking…she’s afraid of choppy water or being away from land. Maybe she can’t swim! All of those assumptions would be incorrect. In actuality, she was concerned about pirates.

You read that right. PIRATES!

At the time, I had this image in my head of a bunch of Canadian dudes with beards, demanding all of their Tim Horton’s donuts. But being very polite about it.

People might say that I’m being mean to people. Listen, everyone is a little bit crazy. In addition to my above acknowledgement of crazy, I also believe the following things:

  1. A person absolutely shouldn’t run unless someone is chasing them. And then, just trip the other person.
  2. I keep a machete in my house because in a zombie apocalypse, bullets will be scarce.
  3. The suburbs are creepy and I live there, so I know.
  4. And that Columbus Ohio will one day be ocean front property once all the ice caps melt. So, buy in Columbus now, while the getting is good.