Tag Archives: HGTV

What did they just say?

Okay, I’ve heard some stupid shit uttered on House Hunters. I know we’ve talked about HGTV before but last night’s episode was particularly ridiculous. I often feel bad for the narrator who has to repeat this shit. I often wonder if she reads the copy and then just rolls her eyes.

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Let’s look at a few gems from the episode last night.

  1. The dude was a fan of “a dramatically pitched roof”
  2. Just because it has an A-frame does not make it a Tudor.
  3. Just because it’s a big room, doesn’t make it an open floor plan. If you see walls and doorways leading to other…rooms, that’s not an open floor plan.
  4. Also, don’t call your realtor “braw”. You’re not that cool.

After the second instance of the open floor plan comment, I had to turn it off and go to sleep. However, over the last few days, there have been some doozies. Like the kid who kept saying he liked the craftsman touches. Nope, it’s just wood paneling. Not even like shiplap or actual wood planks (1 x 6 or 1 x 8 planks) nailed to the wall as a design element. If you’d like an actual description of what is and is not shiplap check out The Craftsman Blog. This was actual wood paneling ( from the the 70’s that someone had painted over, cause we all know that wood paneling is a bitch.

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Can we talk about how this picture might as well be my living room…sigh

Anyway…

I particularly loved the couple who said, and I’m paraphrasing here, We want the large spaces we’re used to. We’re afraid that moving to Europe will mean we have to downsize. YES! Yes, you will have to downsize. Everything in Europe is smaller. It just is. You can’t get a 4000 square foot house in the middle of Amsterdam. That’s not how that works.

Part of the fun of watching House Hunters, at least for Ross and I, is the betting on which house they’ll choose and then the debate on if the choice was a good one. If you’re stupid about your search and don’t actually know what you’re talking about, we all know your choice is a bad one and therefore, takes all the fun out of it.

HGTV Gone Wrong

Ross and I are pretty much like every other 30-something couple. We go to work. We have a baby. We own a house. And, we love HGTV.  It is with a heavy heart that I must confess HGTV has gone horribly wrong and betrayed us all, at least where Ross is concerned. There were a few things that led to the dismantling of my husband’s love affair with the home improvement channel.

Flip or Flop – I’m not sure why he loves this show so much. But he does. He even watches it when I’m not around which I still find amusing. Anyway, when the news broke that Christina and Tarek were secretly separated and getting a divorce, the show took on a whole new perspective. Christina’s side eye glances became mocking instead of endearing. The holiday commercials with the two of them and their kids talking about how they like to spend their days together watching Christmas movies were a joke. At one point, Ross shouted at the tv, “Stop lying to us”. I never laughed so hard in my life.

House Hunters – it was one of the conversations we were having about Flip or Flop that I brought up House Hunters. The conversation went a little something like this.

Me: Well, you know House Hunters if fake too, right?

Ross: What do you mean it’s fake? (Please envision a horrified expression gracing my poor husband’s face.)

Me: I read it’s fake too. I read somewhere that some of the houses they look at aren’t even up for sale. But I mean it you look at it, you can tell. Their reactions are a little too stilted. 

Ross: WHAT? Don’t tell me that! That just ruins the show for me.

This leads to the last nail in the coffin…

Fixer Upper – During the same conversation, I brought up the easy, go to Saturday marathon filler, Fixer Upper.

Me: Do you even want to know about Fixer Upper then?

Ross: (with a heavy sigh) I guess. What?

Me: I read that the house has to already be in contract before they’ll start filming so the whole fist portion is staged. I’m not sure why they need to do that. Nobody really cares about that segment anyway. Just have the people come in and say, ‘hey, we bought this house and want you to rehab the shit out of it.’ That would work just as well, if not better.

Ross: I can’t take any more. 

And so, the wool has been lifted and Santa has been revealed to my poor husband. That doesn’t mean we don’t still watch it. Christina gives the best side eye EVER.