Okay, I’ve heard some stupid shit uttered on House Hunters. I know we’ve talked about HGTV before but last night’s episode was particularly ridiculous. I often feel bad for the narrator who has to repeat this shit. I often wonder if she reads the copy and then just rolls her eyes.

Let’s look at a few gems from the episode last night.

1. The dude was a fan of “a dramatically pitched roof”
2. Just because it has an A-frame does not make it a Tudor.
3. Just because it’s a big room, doesn’t make it an open floor plan. If you see walls and doorways leading to other…rooms, that’s not an open floor plan.
4. Also, don’t call your realtor “braw”. You’re not that cool.

After the second instance of the open floor plan comment, I had to turn it off and go to sleep. However, over the last few days, there have been some doozies. Like the kid who kept saying he liked the craftsman touches. Nope, it’s just wood paneling. Not even like shiplap or actual wood planks (1 x 6 or 1 x 8 planks) nailed to the wall as a design element. If you’d like an actual description of what is and is not shiplap check out The Craftsman Blog. This was actual wood paneling ( from the the 70’s that someone had painted over, cause we all know that wood paneling is a bitch.

Can we talk about how this picture might as well be my living room…sigh

Anyway…

I particularly loved the couple who said, and I’m paraphrasing here, We want the large spaces we’re used to. We’re afraid that moving to Europe will mean we have to downsize. YES! Yes, you will have to downsize. Everything in Europe is smaller. It just is. You can’t get a 4000 square foot house in the middle of Amsterdam. That’s not how that works.

Part of the fun of watching House Hunters, at least for Ross and I, is the betting on which house they’ll choose and then the debate on if the choice was a good one. If you’re stupid about your search and don’t actually know what you’re talking about, we all know your choice is a bad one and therefore, takes all the fun out of it.