All posts by suzannemsabol

Suzanne M. Sabol began writing at a young age, completing her first full-length novel at the age of 17. Her love of everything paranormal and romance began shortly thereafter. She is an avid reader and writer, focusing mostly in the urban fantasy genre. She loves reading anything from contemporary single title romance to detective noir and the classics. Suzanne published her first novel Cursed in 2009. She is a graduate of The Ohio State University with majors in Criminology, International Studies, Russian, and Political Science. Suzanne was born and raised in Ohio. She currently resides in Columbus Ohio with her husband, Ross. When she’s not working, writing, or reading, she’s spending time traveling. She is a member of Romance Writers of America and Central Ohio Fiction Writers.

New Year Resolutions

Okay, so today is the official start of 2015. Happy New Year everyone! The tradition is to make resolutions in order to…I don’t know…make your life better or something like that. In the last few years, I haven’t made any resolutions because – well – I don’t stick to them. I’m horrible at keeping them and quite frankly, I make them way to impossible to stick to in the first place. I have to believe that most people do this too. The worst was always the resolution to lose weight. First of all, this is never going to happen because:

1. I’m lazy. I hate working out (which you’ll probably find funny later). I hate sweating and I would much rather be at home with a good book.

2. I have portion control issues. I don’t understand that I shouldn’t eat everything on my plate. This is probably a product of being told my entire adolescence to clean my plate. But I also know that it will never be as good as it is right at that moment. And it’s soooooo gooooood. I don’t particularly have a sweet tooth, but I love bread, pasta and anything with a carb base. \

3. I hate to cook. I love going out to restaurants and having my food prepared for me. It’s not that I can’t cook. I just don’t like it.

So, what I propose this year is a set of resolutions that are both achievable and not CRAZY. This would involve something that has a routine and happens on a regular basis. So, here we go.

My New Year’s Resolutions…

1. WRITE A BLOG EVERY WEEK

As anyone who follows this blog knows, I’m HORRIBLE at this. First, I don’t feel like I’m that interesting to have something to say every week and second, like I said…LAZY. This is my first blog of the year and I will write a blog each week if it kills me DAMMIT!

2. I WILL COOK AT HOME AT LEAST 5 DAYS A WEEK

Now, this is going to become more important come March when I give birth and there is an infant screaming it’s head off in this house. I have the feeling that we will no longer have the disposable income to eat out on a regular basis. Plus, I imagine that toting a newborn around to restaurants is both annoying to other customers and a pain in the ass. So, cooking at home and meal planning will become more imperative. UGH, this one makes me a little sad.

3. I WILL WORK OUT 4 DAYS A WEEK

I know, I know. I said I hate to workout, sweat, and basically everything involved with exercise. It’s completely true. However, I know I feel better when I do workout whether that’s yoga, cardio, weight training, or simply walking. The problem is going to be finding the time and making myself do it.

4. I WILL WRITE 3 DAYS A WEEK

There are people out there that will tell you “you have to write every day”. That’s fine if you’re writing contemporary romance, historical romance, or something light like that. The problem is that I write graphic, gruesome shit. If I was in that headspace everyday, I would slit my wrists with a plastic knife. There’s only so much blood, death, and violence one person can take…even me. Three days a week of quality time would be awesome.

 

So, there are my New Year’s Resolutions. Any more than that and I know I wouldn’t complete them. I’d love to know what you think and what you’re resolutions are for 2015.

Mark of the Demon Preliminary Excerpt

This is a work in progress and has not been edited. 

Flames licked the clouds as the orange sky blazed overhead. Stepping out of the sedan, I already missed the conditioned air that made it easier to breathe. The onyx building towering before me was as sturdy and solid as a fortress but just as deadly as any prison. As I strode inside, the smell of sulfur burned my nose and I rolled my shoulders to wipe the distaste from my expression.

The guard at the door eyed me. Like every other despicable, demon lowlife in this dimension, his beady, red gaze skimmed up my body with a lecherous twitch of his lips. I ignored him and moved on.

As the elevator pinged and the doors slid open, rage and hurt churned in my gut. I ground my teeth and hardened my expression as the elevator rose. With each floor up, heat made the air thick; burning my lungs as I climbed closer to the fire in the atmosphere.

I remember blue skies, oceans that didn’t boil but were blue and cool. I remember waking in the green grass and the soft blades sinking between my toes, not this rocky, dusty wasteland. I remember my mother before we were taken from our home and brought to this place of black towers and burning skies. I remember her smiling, laughing. Reaching up to the soft gold ring dangling from my neck, I clutched it in my grasp. It was the last piece of her I had. The feel of her soft skin as she brushed my hair, her scent – spicy and feminine was like a knife to my heart each time I thought of her. How much I missed her and how angry at her I was that she’d left me alone. With them.

Dropping the chain, I buried the images of my mother from my mind. Thinking of her or our home wouldn’t do me any good. Any sign of emotion would demonstrate to Ardal that I was weak and any mention of my mother would anger him.

The elevator pinged and I shoved everything away as the steel doors slid open. Squaring my shoulders and raising my chin high in the air, I stepped out into an office I knew all too well.

“Maddox, I’ve been waiting for you,” the demon behind the desk barked. “You’re late.”

“Yes,” I swallowed, “Master.” The word tasted like acid as it rolled off my tongue. Bowing my head, I hid the venom flashing in my gaze from him. I was human, a slave, and expendable. Although I had more freedom than most, I still belonged to Ardal. The brand on my shoulder blade told the world I belonged to him and his family. Balling my hands into tight fists at my sides, I raised my gaze to my master and waited for his orders.

The secret “JOYS” of pregnancy

If you haven’t already guessed by the title of this post, I’m knocked up. This is my first child and at 36 years old, I’m categorized as elderly in my medical records. This fact does not particularly sit well with me. I’M NOT THAT OLD.  Also, at this point, more people have seen my hoo-ha in the last four months than have been to a circus. With two trips to the emergency room and a doctor’s office that has revolving doctors, I’m no longer shy about flashing the world. I pretty much feel the world has already seen what I have to offer.

I’ve also discovered some things that the books and your friends won’t tell you until you get knocked up which just isn’t fair.

Things they don’t tell you:

1. Your gag reflex becomes ridiculously sensitive. So sensitive, in fact, that I’ve gagged myself several times brushing my teeth. I’ve dry heaved to the point of throwing up. That, sure  as hell, wasn’t in any of the books.

2. People want to touch you. Why? I don’t know. I don’t grant wishes or have magical powers. I also don’t know you so get the fuck out of my personal space, and keep your hands to yourself. I’m going to start walking around with a hula hoop tied around my waist like someone wearing a barrel. If you are against the hula hoop barrier, you are too close. BACK UP! I can already feel an assault charge coming my way at the prospect of random people just walking up and touching me. If you haven’t noticed, I have personal space issues.

3. Morning sickness is a misnomer. It doesn’t just happen in the morning and you don’t always throw up. Sometimes, like me, you’re sick from when you get up until you go to bed and never once throw up from it. You just feel like a sluggish piece of nauseated crap ALL DAY LONG. So, there’s that.

4. You may also bleed which is frightening. Hence, the two trips to the emergency room. The second time, I passed a blood clot the size of a small chicken which prompted us to visit the lovely new OSU emergency room at 10 pm on a Sunday night. We didn’t get home until around 2 am. Fun times.

5. You will be both hungry and full all the time. I eat a hand full of something and want to throw up from being too full. Half an hour later, I’m ready to rip someone’s head off because I’m starving. It’s both annoying and aggravating. I started keeping snacks around the house to prepare for this so I could have a quick bite and then go on about my day. The only problem is that my husband keeps eating all my fucking snacks. So now, I’m hungry and pissed because what I wanted to eat is no longer in the house.

6. It’s weird to have someone growing inside you. When you see it on the screen, it’s a little like aliens and you think, “God, that’s weird.” We still don’t know what the gender is and my friend made the statement, “you might have a penis growing inside of you right now.” When you stop to think about it, that’s weird, especially when you put it like that.

 

I promise not to fill this blog with baby related posts, just he funny stuff. I just had to get this one off my chest.

The Blushing Death

Ever wonder how Dahlia got her street name (aka the Blushing Death)?? Well, here’s your chance to find out. This short has not been professionally edited and contains graphic language and content. Read at your own risk. Enjoy!

 

*

What the hell was he doing here? He’d better things to do than watch over some imbecile who wasn’t intelligent enough to take his meal behind a dumpster or into an alley before he ate. Patrick closed his eyes and let the night breathe into him, fill him, and energize him. Waiting for Dmitri to exit the bar, he hadn’t fed yet and his fangs throbbed from want of a meal.

As Ethan’s right hand, he had too many responsibilities to be sitting on a roof top, monitoring Dmitri’s hunt. Ethan must be losing whatever sense he had left. Being 400 and some odd years old, Vampire Liege, and almost half a century without Margo – his mate of more than 300 years – had finally destroyed the last vestige of sanity his father had.

The breeze whipped around Patrick’s hair, pushing the scent of alcohol, oversexed college students, and grease from the nearby campus bars through his nostrils, barraging his senses with debauchery. Why Dmitri hunted the incredibly inebriated young coeds was understandable, however, why he couldn’t keep from drawing attention to himself and feeding in public was beyond his understanding.

Patrick sat on the ledge of the roof along High Street watching young men and women stumble from bar to bar, laughing, touching, fondling each other. Patrick watched them with envy.  He hadn’t touched someone with abandon in decades. He’d occupied himself with quick fucks and blood whores, as those were the only ones safe and allowed him to hide his true nature and power.

“What are you doing to yourself?” Patrick whispered into the silence. He shouldn’t envy humans. Ever. Leaning over the edge, he kept his eyes open for Dmitri. The young one would have to come out sooner or later.

The wind shifted and brought a familiar musky scent to his nose. “How’d you find me?” Patrick asked without turning, knowing full well who was standing behind him.

“Wasn’t hard. You stink,” the deep, bass voice rumbled with what Patrick thought was a chuckle.  Patrick smiled to himself without turning. Dean, werewolf, alpha, Pack King, and friend was nothing if not precise. He never said two words when one would do.

“So you’ve said,” Patrick said as he turned to face his friend of decades. The two men were complete opposites in every way. Patrick was tall, lean, and muscular with a runner’s body, his movements were lithe as a cat’s. Dean was older than Patrick by almost fifty years, but you couldn’t tell to look at them since vampires and werewolves didn’t age. Patrick had dark hair and dark eyes that stood in stark contrast to his pale skin.

Dean, on the other hand, was tall and bulky like he could lift a car over his head as he would a sack of potatoes. He had deep olive-green eyes, dark Mediterranean skin, and a completely shaved head. He was kind, loyal and had the ability to read people in a way that staggered Patrick. In Patrick’s mind, everyone had an ulterior motive. He’d lived too long and seen too many vampires he’d trusted turn on him with the merest hint of power.

“Pat?” Dean’s deep voice rumbled behind him. Dean sounded unsure and Patrick knew it was his fault. Patrick had been avoiding his friend for weeks, months really. It wasn’t safe.  Ethan didn’t approve of his friendship with Dean. His Liege also didn’t appreciate that Dean had a power Ethan couldn’t control and couldn’t curtail. The old vampire was threatened by Dean, and he should be. The werewolf was more powerful than any Patrick had ever come across. But Unlike Ethan, Dean seemed content with what he had. That’s why Patrick trusted him.

“Yes,” Patrick answered, keeping his gaze on the street below.

“You alright?” Dean asked, stepping up beside him. Patrick glanced over at his friend.

Dean watched the street below, avoiding eye contact.

“Perfectly,” Patrick said. “I’m babysitting this evening.  And you?”

“Looking for you,” Dean mumbled.

“Is something wrong?” Patrick asked with dread filling him. Ethan was hiding more and more from Patrick and he suspected it was only a matter of time before his Liege made a move on the Pack and Patrick would have to move his timetable forward.

“Not anymore.”

Patrick looked back at his friend with sudden understanding. Dean had been worried.

“It wasn’t safe,” Patrick said. “It still isn’t.”

“Is that why you’re babysitting?”

Why was he babysitting? Ethan had been acting strange. He had been like Patrick’s father since he rose that first night but in the last few months, Ethan had been treating Patrick like he didn’t trust him. He’d been with Ethan for the better part of a century. Why would the man second guess his trust now?

“I don’t know why I’m babysitting, actually. Dmitri should have been put down long ago. He’s a danger to all of us and much too public,” Patrick scoffed.

“Hmph,” Dean snorted.

“What does that mean?” Patrick snapped.

“Just . . . hmph.”

Patrick turned his gaze back to the street. Where the hell was Dmitri?

Two women stumbled from the bar beneath Patrick and Dean. They both seemed unsteady, inebriated as the dark haired woman with hair down her back and hips just a bit too wide for Patrick’s tastes slammed into her friend. The other woman was tall, muscular, and voluptuous in a way that Patrick knew would overflow his palm with thick thighs and hips that swayed when she walked. She had shimmering blonde hair that caught his eye in the street light overhead. She seemed irritated as she aided, practically carried her friend down the sidewalk. Her steps were steady, sure and Patrick knew she wasn’t intoxicated in the least.

The wind shifted, blowing the scent of the two women up. Their scents mingled together like vinegar and oil. One was deeper, musky, tangled with the acidic scent of alcohol. The other was soft, carrying the scent of jasmine oil and something else . . . something old.

“What is that?” Dean asked, leaning over the edge. He took a deep breath, filling his nose with her scent again.

“She smells of magic,” Patrick whispered.

“None that I’ve smelled before. It’s old. Too old for either one of them.”

Patrick watched the blond as she and her friend crossed the street toward the university dorms.

“Dmitri,” Dean growled low in his chest.

Patrick’s eyes shot back to the sidewalk and the vampire he’d been following all night lurking in the shadows like a common vagrant. Dmitri crossed the street, following the two women down the sidewalk into the darkness. The streetlights grew farther and farther apart, snaking shadows across the parking lot.

“Stop him,” Dean growled.

“Why?” Patrick asked but a twinge in his gut agreed with his friend. He should stop Dmitri. Magic still tingled in his nose, pulling at his brain and his being for recognition, as if he should know it, know her. The magic seemed basic, primal, complex, and new all at the same time. What was she?

“I don’t know,” Dean answered, confused. “But something’s gnawing at me to stop him.” Before either could move, Dmitri was already on them.

*

Damn her!  My plan for the night had not been to carry her drunk ass across campus. I’d just met her a few weeks ago for Christ’s sakes and this was not my responsibility. I wasn’t her mother. But I couldn’t leave her either.

“I love you,” Lisa slurred up at me.

“Yeah, yeah,” I said. “Sure.”

She stumbled into me, again. Damn, she was heavy. I tripped on her clumsy feet but caught myself before both of us hit the ground. If we fell, I wasn’t picking her back up. I wasn’t. Okay, I probably would, but I wouldn’t like it.

We stumbled through triangles of shadows cast by the street lights as I tried not to break my neck on something unseen or uneven pavement. The street lights were getting farther apart, keeping us in darkness longer and longer which didn’t sit well with me. A chill swept up my spine that sent the hairs on the back of my neck on end and my heart raced in anticipation.

“I do, you know,” she slurred again.

“That’s great, Lisa. Now, hurry the hell up and get your ass moving,” I snapped. I had a bad feeling churning in my stomach and I wanted to be back in our rooms.

“Can I help?” a man asked behind me. His voice was rough, filled with gravel that rumbled around his thick Eastern European accent. He was too close. Much too close.

*

“Stop him,” Dean growled again, low in his chest. This time, it wasn’t a request.

“I think we’re too late,” Patrick whispered, panic filling him and he couldn’t even say why.

*

I dropped Lisa and turned.

“Hey,” she snarled as her ass hit the cement, hard.

“Shut up!” I snapped. We were in trouble. I could feel it down to my toes. I didn’t have any cash on me but then again, this guy didn’t look like he wanted cash.

“You should listen to your friend,” he said, smirking at Lisa and then fixing his gaze on me with a singularity that tightened my stomach in dread.

“What do you want?” I barked, stepping in front of Lisa who still sitting on the sidewalk.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Lisa groaned behind me, just before she retched a few times, spilling the foul smell of vomit into the air. Perfect!

     The man looked down at her and then back up at me with a disgusted expression and his lips curling into a sneer. He turned his nose up at the stench. “I will leave that one.”

“You’ll be leaving both of us,” I said, thrusting every ounce of confidence and malice I had into that one sentence.

“I don’t think so,” he cooed as the corners of his mouth turned up in a lecherous, hungry smile.

He lunged at me.

He was quick. Too quick for my eyes to follow. His hands gripped my throat, squeezing until I couldn’t breathe and my lungs burned with the lack of oxygen. Lifting me from the ground with one hand as if I weighed nothing, my feet dangled from the ground. I kicked out at him, clutching his hand around my throat as I tried to wedge my fingers in-between his grip and my neck. His grip was iron tight around and pain surged through my entire being as his fingers dug into my flesh.

My heart pounded in my head, filling my ears with the steady thump-thump, thump-thump of its beat. I stared up into his face and caught his malicious grin spread across his lips, exposing a straight line of white teeth . . . and . . . fangs. SHIT! He couldn’t be . . . could he? I kicked at him again but each time I made contact, he shrugged it off.

“You smell too good to resist,” he drooled in his thick accent. He pushed his thumb up under my chin, tilting my head away, exposing my neck. Leaning into me, he ran his tongue up the long line of my throat in a languorous stroke of saliva. I shivered at the feel of him on my body and something clicked into place.

Alright, I’ve had enough. My instincts took over before I could think too much about it. I didn’t want to think. I wanted this thing’s hands off me and to get Lisa and me back to our dorms in one piece. I wanted this asshole to know he couldn’t just walk up to anyone and hurt them. I wouldn’t let him hurt me or anyone, ever again.

Kill him, a voice whispered in a deep, husky enticement from the back of my mind. Kill him, she said again. He’s not one of us.

No, he wasn’t. My body stilled and I stopped fighting.  My mind cleared and a peace I’d never known settled over me. I was going to kill him and I knew it as much as I knew my name was Dahlia Sabin.

He lapped at my neck one last time, bringing his tongue all the way up to my ear. “You taste like power,” he purred in my ear. As the last word left his lips, he reared his head back and exposed his fangs before he lurched at my exposed skin.

*

“What is that?” Patrick asked in a hush as he watched the blond woman struggle in Dmitri’s grasp. Dmitri was playing with her, in the open, in full view of anyone who wanted to watch.

“I don’t know,” Dean said as his fingers gripped the edge of the roof with white knuckled intensity. The three of them stood in shadows, far from the unnatural light of the streetlamps as Dmitri gripped her by the neck. Even with that fact, everywhere around her, illuminating the shadows like a beacon a soft, red glow emitted. Patrick watched Dmitri lick a long line up her neck, unaware of the blushing glow growing out from her body. Dmitri was a dead vampire. He’d kill that sonovabitch himself.

She stopped struggling.

“What’s she doing?” Dean snapped. His voiced rung with the same fear Patrick felt tighten his gut. He’d pegged that girl as a fighter and something inside him didn’t want her to give in, didn’t want her to just lie down and die. The soft red glow around her became a harsh red slash of light through the darkness as Dmitri reared his head back to strike and Patrick stood in awe of her. It would be a shame if this creature were to perish at Dmitri’s unworthy hands.

*

I reached out and grasped his head in my hands. Before he could think to push my hands away, I twisted his head sharply, snapping his neck. He released his grip on my throat and I dropped to the ground, crouching low. I caught my breath and waited for the sound of his body to hit the ground.

It never came.

I glanced up at the man still standing in front of me with his head twisted at an unnatural, uncomfortable angle.  He should’ve been dead.

“Fuck,” I breathed. He reached his hands up and placed them firmly on either side of his face. The man twisted his neck back into place, and cracked it back, shifting his chin up on either side.

“You stupid little BITCH! That hurt,” he growled. I scrambled backward on my hands, dragging my ass across the pavement as I climbed over Lisa’s passed out, limp body.

Kill him, kill him, through the heart, she whispered like a mantra.

My mind tried to grapple with the idea of a man who didn’t die when you broke his neck. I’d definitely felt the pop.

Through the heart? 

Why through the heart? Fangs . . . Fuck! Vampire!

If the attack had happened on anyone else, vampire would not have been the first guess. I was different. I’d seen spirits, ghosts, and poltergeists since the age of five, been attacked by a ghoul in a cemetery and felt the pull of magic too often to count. Just because I’d never encountered a vampire before, didn’t mean I couldn’t believe. Looking up into this guy’s eyes, I believed. Oh boy, did I believe.

“Through the heart then,” I whispered. I had to find something. I didn’t have any weapons, why would I? College students didn’t walk around with weapons. I moved to my right, tripping over Lisa’s outstretched arm. My ass hit hard, spilling into the soft, warm mound of vomit. Fanfuckingtastic!  It soaked through my jeans, turning my stomach. Now, I was pissed.  The vampire took careful steps toward me, slow, watching.

I reached out, spreading my arms wide, searching for anything that I could use to defend myself. My fingers wrapped around a long flimsy branch from the nearby dogwood tree. It was blunt and would probably snap on impact but it was all I had.

He stepped over Lisa, too casual and much to focused on me.  I hated her all the more for passing out. If I lived through this, I’d have to carry her back and covered in her vomit. I hated drunk people.

The vampire reached down and grabbed the front of my shirt, yanking me to my feet. My head whipped back with his strength. I was going to live. Damn it! If it was the last thing I did!

He snarled at me, exposing teeth and fangs in a glistening white sheen. I tightened my grip around the branch and thrust it up under his ribs. The branch pushed through his thin t-shirt, into his body, through flesh and muscle. The cool, sticky sensation of his blood spilling over my hand, turned my stomach. His eyes widened in disbelief as he met my glare. He released my shirt, shoving me away before he fell to his knees. Gasping for air, he scrambled to tug the branch from his chest.

I took a step back, out of reach as he swung his arms out to me, flailing.

“You stupid cunt!” he yelled. His skin moved over the flesh and bone, weakening to an almost paper thin transparency, stretching from his bones, and shriveling away from his face.

“Christ on Crutches,” I gasped.

His head, take his head that same voice whispered.

“His head? What the hell with?” I called out into the darkness, frustration making my anger seep into my blood and making it boil through my veins. I staggered back another step as he fell forward, trying to grab me. The vampire slammed face-first into the ground, driving the branch further into his chest, and up through his back.

*

“She killed him,” Dean said with an uncharacteristic smile pushing the corners of his mouth up.

“Yes, she did,” Patrick said as he watched her stand like a Fury over her kill. Her chest heaved with her heavy breath and her adrenaline made her scent a heady mixture of Jasmine, magic and power. The harsh red glow simmered down to a soft blushing pink as Dmitri decomposed on the ground.

“His head? What the hell with?” she seemed to cry out in frustration. To whom she spoke, Patrick didn’t know.

“Do you have your knife?” Patrick asked. Dean nodded and pulled the 8 inch silver plated bowie knife from the sheath in his boot. Dean flipped the knife in his hand, gripping the blade in his palm. “Be careful,” Patrick snapped.

“Hmph.”

Dean brought the knife back and threw it. The blade soared through the air, across the street, over the grass, sinking it into the ground a few feet behind her. She backed up another step, tripping over the knife with her foot. She stumbled but caught herself and glared down at the knife sticking out of the ground. She seemed frozen for a moment, but only long enough to blink. She grasped the exposed handle in her hand and ripped it from the ground and took the two long strides toward Dmitri.

The woman knelt down at the vampire’s shoulders. She raised the knife above her head without a single hesitation and brought it down hard. Sinking the knife’s blade through the shrinking flesh of Dmitiri’s neck, she severed his head from his body.

Once his head and heart were separated, Dmitri erupted in a puff of ash. His decomposition was sped up and had destroyed any existence that he ever existed.

“She didn’t even flinch,” Patrick said, transfixed.

“Except for the flicker in that red glow around her.”

The woman, a girl really, stood and brushed the ash from her jeans. She shoved the knife in her back pocket and glanced around. Glancing over her shoulder, she evaluated at the mess on her pert, round ass. She released a frustrated, defeated sigh up to the heavens and shook her head.

“Hey, Lisa,” she snapped at the woman passed out on the ground. She reached down and tugged at the woman’s shirt. When the girl didn’t wake, she struck her across the face. The crack of flesh on flesh rang in Patrick’s ears, making his body tingle from head to toe with the violence, the power, and the determination of this woman.

“I’m not carrying your heavy ass after the night I’ve had,” she hissed. The inebriated girl finally opened her eyes and staggered to her feet. Without another work, she strode off, leaving the girl to follow or not.

“That was . . .” Dean started.

“Incredible,” Patrick finished.

“What are you going to do?” Dean asked with a hush still in his voice.

“Nothing,” Patrick said with a mischievous grin cresting his lips. He had a plan that could turn the tide to everything he’d ever hoped. “If he’s stupid enough to get staked by a coed then he deserved it.”

“She’s a little more than just a coed.”

“Yes, she’s the Blushing Death,” Patrick said with a satisfied smile.

“What?” Dean asked, finally turning his glare at Patrick with that Alpha stare.

“Even little children have something they fear. It’s been a long time since we did. Spread the word. There’s a new boogey man in town,” Patrick said.

“No more babysitting then?” Dean asked with an understanding nod.

“No more babysitting. If I can make her a bigger threat, maybe he’ll forget about you for a while.”

“And give you a chance to keep an eye on her,” Dean scoffed at his friends semblance of goodwill.

“That too.”

Emails and Math Evidently Don’t Mix

This conversation actually took place this week! When you don’t believe me that I work with some ridiculous people, I’m have PROOF! Then names have been changed (except for mine) to protect the innocent...Ahem. The trail ends with that snarky THANK YOU! Even though I just answered a question of simple math. MATH! We work at a university, that should not be above you, especially considering this person is also a fiscal officer. SIGH

 

I’m sorry but the trail starts at the bottom and reads up.

 

THANK YOU!

 

From: Suzanne
Sent: Tuesday, August 12, 2014 9:39 AM
To: xxxxxxxxx
Subject: RE: GTA for Spring 15

 

Hi xxxxxx,

1500*4.5=6750

1550*4.5=6975

1600*4.5=7200

 

From: xxxxxxx
Sent: Tuesday, August 12, 2014 9:37 AM
To: Suzanne
Subject: RE: GTA for Spring 15

 

Ok, what is the total stipend for each category of GTA for one semester?

 

 

From: Suzanne
Sent: Tuesday, August 12, 2014 9:36 AM
To: xxxxxxxx
Subject: RE: GTA for Spring 15

 

Each semester is 4.5 now. So SP would be January 1 through May 15th.

 

From: xxxxxxx
Sent: Tuesday, August 12, 2014 9:35 AM
To: Suzanne
Subject: RE: GTA for Spring 15

 

Would that would be 4 monthly payments (Jan-Apr) or 5 (Jan – May)?  We rarely use GTA’s and I seem to remember the first year of the semester conversion this was an issue.

 

X

 

From: Suzanne
Sent: Tuesday, August 12, 2014 9:33 AM
To: xxxxxxxx
Subject: RE: GTA for Spring 15

 

Hi xxxxxx,

MA student is 1500 a month

PhD is 1550 a month

And ABD is 1600 a month.

Suzanne

 

From: xxxxxxxx
Sent: Tuesday, August 12, 2014 9:32 AM
To: Suzanne
Subject: GTA for Spring 15

 

Hi Suzanne,

 

Hope you had a nice summer.  Director has agreed to give your faculty member a GTA 50% in support of teaching 2500 in Spring 15.  I wanted to put this on your radar since your department would be supplying the graduate student. Our plan would be to pick up stipend and fee waiver.  What do you pay your graduate students?

 

Cheers,

True Blood…WTF?

Okay, I’ve been watching True Blood since the beginning because at the time, I loved the books. The last three books cured me of that particular disease. I’ve never spent so much time in a damned piggly wiggly and I’ve never actually been inside one.

Sigh, but I digress.

There have been questionable seasons of True Blood, Season 2 with the Maenad was weird and went nowhere. That whole season with the Fae and Rutger Hauer, yeah that was kinda in the books but it wasn’t really all that great there either. The Fae war was definitely something they should have left by the way side. Last season was pretty good though, with the Authority and Bill going all evil and shit. I hate Bill so I was all for him going evil and needing to die. That made me happy. Then they made him nice again and I wanted to puke.

Back to my point and I promise there is one.

This season, the last season…I’m not sure what to make of it. Every episode I watch, I come away with a complete feeling of ambivalence. Its an hour out of my week that I check my email and book stats while Sookie runs around Bon Temps and characters from years gone by make appearances and I try to remember who they are and why I should care. The best part of this season and quite frankly any season has been Pam and Lafayette. And no, I’m not forgetting Alexander Skarsgard. He is beautiful and I love – LOVE – Eric Northman but Pam and Lafayette are on a planet all their own. When Pam looks in the mirror and says “look, I’m a republicunt”, I almost blew Iced Tea out of my nose. FANTASTIC!

This season is like an extended version of And the Band Played On.  I don’t understand Hep V. What is the point and why I should care that vampires are dying from a weird blood born disease? It’s depressing and because everyone is sick, they are mopey and sad.

They’re vampires.

They’re already dead.

Don’t give me 10 minutes of sad pre-true death grief. I don’t care.

There seems to be no arc, no purpose other than watching people cry and die. Ugh, there are only 3 episodes left and I just don’t care. I’ll watch them as I read the last three books despite being annoyed. I don’t, however, see anyway to redeem this season. They would have to blow up Bon Temps and kill everyone to make this right. I don’t see that happening.

Then again, after Game of Thrones, everything pales in comparison.

Black Dalliances Deleted Scene

This is a deleted scene from Black Dalliances. Its been a while since I’ve put a snippet up and I was pretty sure you were tired of Disney posts. LOL!

 

“This bedroom suite is pretty,” I said. Jade and I had already purchased a furniture for the living room, tables, everything for the dining room and kitchen, an outfit for a den with a large enough desk that if Patrick and Dean could share, two smaller bedroom suites and small pieces for the bathrooms. The only thing left was my bedroom.

The salesman was salivating at the commission he was going to get. I didn’t even want to know how much everything was. I just handed over the card Dean had given me and cringed. We still had to go to Macy’s and buy everything else. I didn’t realize how expensive it was to furnish a home from scratch, furnish a life from nothing.

“It’s nice but not sturdy enough. It also doesn’t come in a California King. You need a California King,” she answered absently, peering down at the informational tag attached to the bed post. She’d hugged me and said she was glad to see me but there was a distance between us she was trying like hell to maintain.

“Why do I need a California King?” I asked, forcing her to look at me, talk to me in more than a clipped sentence. Her striking green eyes met mine, almost cold.

“Dean,” she said, hoisting her bag back up over her shoulder. “He’s a big guy. You’ll need the length.”

“I’m not sleeping with him,” I said, in defense of God knows what but Jade made me feel all of a sudden like I had to defend myself.

“Not yet,” she said simply, turning to walk down the aisle.

“What the hell?” I snapped. “Is there a problem?” I stormed after her.

“Nope,” she clipped out.

“Bullshit,” I said. “What’s going on?” Her eyes narrowed on me in a way that made me rear back from her in surprise. She watched me for an uncomfortable moment then blew out a heavy breath. She ran her hands through her thick chestnut hair in frustration.

“I thought this,” she said, waving her hands between us, “would be like you weren’t even gone. I thought we would finally get back to normal. But all I can think about is how MAD I am at you,” she finished through clenched teeth.

“Then yell at me. Get it out. Say whatever it is you want to say. I can take it.”

“Dahlia, we’re in the middle of a furniture store,” she said, almost ashamed but not really. The fire in her dark green eyes was too bright.

“I don’t care. We’re spending enough money in here today that they’d better let us have a fist fight if we wanted,” I said, a sly grin curling my lips. She couldn’t help but laugh even as she tried to hide it behind her hand. I still saw the laughter dancing in her eyes.

“Dahlia!” she giggled.

“Seriously, if you have something to say, say it. I don’t want this tension between us.”

“Okay,” she said with a sly smile. “Well,” she started pensively, and then came the onslaught. “I can’t believe you left without saying anything to me. I was worried sick. I had things to tell you every day and you weren’t there to hear them!” she shouted.

I could see the hesitation in her body, wanting desperately to stomp her foot but thought she was too much of a grown up for that.

“I can’t believe you disappeared and I couldn’t find you,” she hissed, almost to herself but I heard it.

“That’s it, isn’t it?” I laughed. “You’re mad that I disappeared and YOU couldn’t find me,” I taunted.

“That’s not true,” she said with indignation but I could hear her heart thump in her chest. Caught like a bunny in the brush.

“It is too and you know it. Don’t try to lie, I can hear your heart thump in your chest and smell adrenaline wafting off of you,” I said, still smiling at her. “Ah, grasshopper, when you know who’s chasing you, it’s easier to hide,” I said, bowing at the waist.

“Okay, stop smelling me. It’s weird when you do that and you know it,” she said, brushing her hair out of her face again. “So, what do you think about this one?” she asked with a satisfied smile on her face. Just like that, we were back to normal.

“Nah, that’s too gaudy for me. Plus, I’m going to need more dresser space. You know for Patrick and Dean,” I said, dropping that little tidbit, casually as I walked by her.

“Oh, you’re admitting it now?” she asked, taking the two steps to catch up with me.

“I admit nothing.”

“Uh huh, like everyone doesn’t already know that if it hasn’t happened yet, it will,” she teased, pointing out another bedroom collection. My gut tightened in regret. Even when I wasn’t around, Patrick’s face was being rubbed in it.

“Jade, Patrick asked me to leave last night,” I whispered as she turned down another aisle.

“What?”

“When Saeran and Fergal arrived last night, he asked me to leave. I heard him through the door after I left. He doesn’t trust me,” I said. A queasy tightening at the core of my gut sent chills over me as regret crept over my skin.

Wrapping her arms around me, cautiously since I’d never let her hug me before, Jade embraced me. When I hugged her back, her body tensed and then relaxed in my arms. “Don’t worry. He’s hurt but most of all mad. Give him some time, he’ll come around,” she soothed, making me think of Amblan. For the first time since her death, I smiled at her memory. Jade stepped away from me and gave me a reassuring smile. “Okay?”

“Yeah.”

“So how do you feel about this one?” she said, gripping my shoulders and turning me toward a gargantuan paneled headboard in cherry, appearing sturdy like it belonged in a forgotten castle in the highlands of Scotland somewhere. Perfect.

“Does it come in the California King?” I asked with hope in my tone.

“Sure does,” she smirked.

“Let’s get it.” I turned to the salesman. “I don’t want to see the bill,” I said, handing him the card. I figured it was a platinum card, it could take the hit.

“We want delivery today,” Jade said to the horror of the salesman.

“Miss, I don’t know if that will be possible,” he simpered.

“We can take our business somewhere else, somewhere that will guarantee it if you’d prefer,” she chortled. Finally witnessing Jade in her element, she was like a lioness; regal, demanding and dangerous. It was fun to watch.

“That won’t be necessary. I’ll deliver it myself if I have to,” he squirmed, scurrying off with Dean’s credit card.

“Let’s just hope it all goes through,” I whispered, praying after Jade practically emasculated the poor guy.

“It will,” she said and I had no reason to doubt her. “What do ya say? Macy’s?” She smiled at me. “You need sheets, blankets, clothes, dishes, kitchen appliances and general stuff, towels and all the rest.” She strutted back to the service desk to arrange delivery and I followed her helpless. We’d brought Kurt’s SUV because Jade said ‘we’d need the room’, now I understood why.

Questions Kids Never Ask

I joined the Disney Movie Club. Why, you might ask… I don’t particularly have a good reason for this, other than in the back of my brain I believe i should own every Disney movie every made. It’s a sickness.

I’ve watched most of them as both a child and an adult. There are questions I ask today that I wouldn’t have thought to ask before.

1. In The Little Mermaid

cp_FWB_LittleMermaid_20130829

 

Everyone speaks English. Is English the official language of the ocean?

If so, why does Sebastian have a Caribbean accent?

How did he get to King Triton’s court?

Why do the animals understand English?

What kind of dude is Eric to fall in love with a voice? Creepy.

What kind of father is Triton that he could have given Ariel legs the whole time and chose not to? Humanphobic much??? That’s just bad parenting.

Also, when Sebastian is singing “Kiss the Girl” on the boat, can Eric hear and understand him? Ariel can clearly hear and understand him and she’s human/mermaid…can Eric? Who the hell does he think is singing this weird song? And is no one else disturbed by the ducks forcing the turtles to roll over so they can beat on their underside? This seems like a species crime.

So, here’s a technical question. How does Ariel pee?

What do mer-people eat? They fear the humans because their fish eaters so what? Nothing but seaweed all day long? That seems really boring. No wonder she wanted out.

How do mer-people have sex? How do they reproduce? THEY DON’T HAVE A HOLE!

These are the questions that occupy my mind now when I’m watching Disney movies. Does this mean the magic is gone? I don’t think so. It just means my imagination has to work harder to make everything plausible. Right????

Birthday Shenanigans

So, next Saturday is my birthday and before anyone can make a 4th of July joke, stop! I’ve heard them already. I don’t like fireworks. It only takes on incident at the age of seven to scar you forever. My mom thought it would be a GREAT idea to put seven sparklers on my cake instead of candles. You can’t blow sparklers out and everyone thought it was hilarious to watch me try by huffing in breath after breath. An emergency room trip later for toxic fumes inhalation, no one really thought it was a good idea anymore.

Anyway. I don’t want them for my birthday celebration, and there will be a celebration. Most people have a hard time with their birthday, especially after the age of 30. Me? I don’t care. There are presents involved and I love presents. I’m also a giant child so I have fun birthdays, even if it is just Ross and I. Last year, we had a pretty princess birthday party with a scavenger hunt for my presents. I know this picture sucks (because I take horrible pictures) but you get the idea…

20130705_142802 (1)

 

Two years ago, it was a pirate birthday…

2011-07-05_16-01-16_282

You see a theme going on here.

I LOVE IT!

So, with a little over a week away, Ross has some high standards to live up to.

What will the birthday celebration theme be?

Stay tuned…