Tag Archives: suzannemsabol

NANOWRIMO

Welp, its that time again.

The end of October always feels as if I’m standing on a precipise and moments away from falling over. Not because of the impending holidays or all the baking i’m going to have to do. Nope. Its the 30 day sprint to get something accomplished for National Novel Writing Month in November. I’m not sure why I feel so much pressure for this. It’s voluntary. I don’t have to do it.

I succumb to pressure this most years when i’m not already bogged down in either editing or finishing a pre-existing book. It’s a good jump start but most of the time, I end up feeling a bit like a failure. I never meet the goal of 55,000 words – okay, once. I’ve done it once. Mostly because this is at the worst possible time of year. Who the fuck picked November anyway. April! April would be a great month for this shit.

Also, they categorize 55,000 words as novel length. . .which is technically true. However, my books run anywhere from 90,000 to 110,000, so that arbitrary number feels wrong but should feel doable. However, since I can’t actually seem to hit that number, it feels doubly wrong with a splash of failure mixed in there. So, that’s nice for me.

So, here we are again. On the cusp of November and I just turned in Infinite Azure for editing and stuff. I won’t hear back from Debby @ Soul Mate Publishing for another month at least. I’m technically free for November. . . I guess. Once again, I have bent under the weight of NANOWRIMO pressure and have set up my project to mock me as I log my pitiful word counts each day.

Here’s my plan. I’m going back into one of my old projects, mostly because I’m sitting on 26,000 words and it’s driving me insane that it’s not done. This project has been the topic of previous Nanowrimo years but I’m going in with a plan this time. I think the reason, this project went nowhere fast the previous go arounds, is because I didn’t have the plot flushed out enough. I’m working on the plot this week so that it won’t be so daunting when I go back in to put words on the page. I don’t think I’ll average 1667 words per day but maybe I can get close. Even if it gets this project back on track, I’ll count that as a win.

Friendship Manifesto

This may be a short blog. A manifesto if you will but I think everyone needs to take a step back and look at their relationships every once in a while and decide if those relationships still work for you in the place you are now.

I’m 43 years old. I’m the type of person that’s always had a lot of aquaintences but not a lot of real friends. I generally have a handful of people that know me and are ride or die kind of people.

Covid changed all of that.

I realized that I was doing all the work for some of these relationships. I was the one making sure we had meeting times. That when we could go back to meeting in person, i was the one setting everything up. I was the one reaching out. I can’t do that anymore.

The added wrinkle is that because I’d been functioning in this role for so long, it was second nature to me until I stopped. I’d trained them to act this way, that I would be the one to set things up, to send that first text message. I will no longer be making that first move.

I am worth more than this. I will not be the one to do all the work for these friendships anymore. I would love to hang out with you, but you will need to reach out to me. I cannot be the only person making an effort in our relationship. It’s not healthy for my emotional health and I will be taking better care of myself from now on.

I highly recommend taking a hard look at your relationships and the role you play in them. Does this role still suit your needs? If not, its time to make a change.