Tag Archives: Amazon

What’s Your Favorite?

Here’s the thing. I don’t really like candy. That sugary sweet taste isn’t really for me. I’d much prefer cookies, cakes, and pies. I’m a baked goods girl. I just prefer a milder sweetness. As an example, I would much rather have honey compared to syrup on my pancakes.

There is, of course, one exception to this. Licorice. I love Twizzlers to the point where I would eat and entire bag until they made me sick. Even knowing this, I would happily open the bag and eat every last piece.

I can’t have this shit in my house or I’ll keep going back again, and again, and again until the thought of another piece turns my stomach. Then I go back for more.

Also, for all you weirdos out there that love black licorice. Ew! Just-ew. Black licorice is something that shouldn’t exist in nature. Who thought this was a good idea. I mean, really. Why are they still making this shit. I understand that this was the only candy out there in the olden days, but come on. We have new, better candy out there now. Set the black licorice down and step away.

Back to the important stuff, like good licorice.

Twizzlers are my drug of choice. I love them. Like. . . .really love them. Ross has routinely taken a package away from me because I have no self-control where these little bastards are concerned.

I decided to do a taste test of the best licorice out there. Or at least what I could find. Here’s my haul that we’ll be discussing.

Darrell Lea

This was a gigantic piece of licorice. I mean, look at that thing. When you open the package, there’s only really like 10 pieces in the package because they’re so fucking huge. I realize that the package has it spelled LIQUORICE but that has to be the Australian spelling. It has to be . . . right?

This was the only licorice that had true candy flavor. I’ll be honest with you, strawberry flavor is faint and not very strong. There wasn’t enough flavor for the size of this thing. Plus, the texture reminded me of swedish fish which was just weird.

SweeTarts Ropes

These things were surprisingly AMAZING. I don’t know what the weird white shit was in the middle but I like it. They were soft and chewy with a tart flavor (cause cherry instead of strawberry). I might have had two or three of these things instead of the single rope I’d intended.

Red Vines

Okay, these things are just disgusting. I’ll pass on these and have which should tell you something. I ate a piece for the sake of this blog and it had a texture like a piece of Juicy Fruit or Big Red that had been chewed too long. Nope. Just. Nope. It’s a good thing that Ross will eat just about anything with sugar in it cause I’m not eating this shit.

Sugar Free Twizzlers

These were some strange cross between twizzlers and red vines. The sweet goodness of twizzlers but the strange texture of the red vines. I gave you the link above to Amazon because the reviews are FANTASTIC. We’re talking 5 lbs bag of sugar free Gummy Bears great. I’ve included the link for your reading enjoyment.

“poop your pants. and amazon does not care. these twizzlers are as bad as all”

“Do not eat these candies! I ate a package of 20 Sugar Free Twizzlers and had diarrhea for 15 hours! I found that the first ingredient is Maltitol Syrup, which is also known as Xylitol and Sorbitol. This is a known LAXATIVE! In a candy! Terrible!!! It is almost criminal! I had bought 10 packages and am throwing the other nine out! Do not buy this!”

Considering some of the comments regarding intestinal distress, I’ll be steering clear of this one. Here are a few choice examples.

Wiley Wallaby

These were also gigantic but were gummy like Dots. They were fine but not spectacular. What I’m really saying is that I’m not going out to buy these just because.

Twizzlers

I’ve eaten these things since I was little. I open a package and devour the whole thing. I LOVE Twizzlers to an embarrassing degree. I was sure that by the end of this little taste test, my tried and true favorite would be the winner.

Um, it wasn’t.

Hands down, my favorite was the SweeTarts Ropes. I know. I couldn’t believe it either.

Audiobooks

I listen to quite a few audiobooks. In fact, I might listen to more books per year than I actually read. Mostly, because I can listen to them in the car and at work which makes my work day much more enjoyable. I can’t listen to music at work. I have a tendency to sing along and no one wants that. Really, no one wants that. It’s weird. Plus, I was never really into music. I like music. I could never just sit and listen to it. I always had to be doing something else. That’s why audiobooks makes so much sense. And with the ability to download the content to my phone (instead of the bulky CD’s pack you would need in years past) it’s so much easier. My Audible library is ridiculous and quite frankly Amazon has too much of my money. Actually, there are a couple of authors that have all my money because I own their books in three formats (physical books, ebooks, and audiobooks). Thanks Kresley Cole and Ilona Andrews! No really. Thanks! I want to be you when I grow up some day. I’m 38, by the way.

The flip side is that audiobooks can also be very very bad, independent of the book itself depending on the narrator. This is a performance and quite frankly, if you can’t do an accent, don’t try. I’m listening to something now that just delivers everything in a monotone and has the worst Irish accent I’ve ever heard. Lucky Charms Leprechaun type accent. It’s horrendous and I’m not sure I want to listen to it. I’m in it to win it though. I’ve listened to two hours and it’s only eight hours long. I might as well finish.

As we’ve said before, I have a problem with books. Is there a BA (books anonymous) group I can join? Do I even want to?

Nope! And I have zero shame about that.

 

To Anita Blake or Not to Anita Blake, That is the Question!

Crimson Death, the 25th installment of the Anita Blake series, came out in December. I’m usually one of the faithful when I read a series. I have a hard time putting a book down, even if it’s horrible. Any one of my friends can tell you this about me. This part of my personality drives Ross CRAZY. He’s taken books away from me (and hidden them) when I complained but refused to stop reading them. Somewhere in the back of my head, I always think the book can get better.If I just read another chapter, maybe that’s where it gets good. I’ve been disappointed every time, but there’s always hope.

This brings me back to my point. I’ve read all the previous 24 Anita Blake novels. All of them. Within the first week of the release date. I’ve been disappointed A LOT over the last many. There has been so…much…sex. I mean like so much sex in so short a time period that I’m not sure how Anita gets up and walks around. There are only so many orifices and for fuck’s sake, you can’t hit all of them, at one time, four or five times in a 24 hour period and still function or walk properly. Ya just can’t.

Plus, there’s been so much expansion of the “relationships” between Anita and about 15 other people. I don’t care about those other people. I just want some Jean Claude. That’s it. We started the series in Guilty Pleasures with Jean Claude. I’d like to go back to Jean Claude. The glimpses I get of JC are not enough. I miss him.

Below is the blurb from Amazon for Crimson Death:

“Anita has never seen Damian, her vampire servant, in such a state. The rising sun doesn’t usher in the peaceful death that he desperately needs. Instead, he’s being bombarded with violent nightmares and blood sweats.

And now, with Damian at his most vulnerable, Anita needs him the most. The vampire who created him, who subjected him to centuries of torture, might be losing control, allowing rogue vampires to run wild and break one of their kind’s few strict taboos.

Some say love is a great motivator, but hatred gets the job done, too. And when Anita joins forces with her friend Edward to stop the carnage, Damian will be at their side, even if it means traveling back to the land where all his nightmares spring from…a place that couldn’t be less welcoming to a vampire, an assassin, and a necromancer: Ireland.”

The blurb doesn’t sound like there’s any Jean Claude. At. All.

This brings me to my dilemma. I haven’t purchased Crimson Death. However, it is available at the library on audio book. With no wait, I might add. That thing is 24 hours and 12 minutes long which equates to 720 pages. I’m teetering on listening to it, because I have a sickness. But I know:

A) there will be minimal JC, if any.

B) there isn’t that much character development left after 24 books that could justify 720 pages.

C) I don’t want to be sad again after finishing it.

But maybe I won’t be sad, or angry, or let down at the end. Maybe this will be the best of them all.

Help!