Tag Archives: #Adultingishard

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Woodpeckers Ruined Everything

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For my 40th birthday, we were supposed to be in Europe. We got our passports renewed. I’d looked up where we were going to stay, the prices, things to do. For Christ’s Sakes, travel books were purchased. I was ready.

Then…

Woodpeckers. What do woodpeckers have to do with your trip? You might ask. Well, woodpeckers bore holes into you house, leaving large round openings and it’s illegal to kill woodpeckers in Ohio. So until we figured out that it was the carpenter bee larvae that they were digging for and treated for that, they kept drilling holes into our house. Honestly, it might be time to treat for the bees again because I’m pretty sure I heard knocking the other morning. The side of our house looks like Swiss cheese on one side and that, of course, is the side that faces the street.

Again, what does this have to do with your trip to Europe?

Well, in order to repair the damage and repaint the house, this blows my Europe budget out the window. And not just out the window, like across the street and in the neighbor’s yard out the window. Europe is so far out of reach, I was looking on if there was a return policy for the $250 I spent to get our passports renewed. There’s not, by the way. Fucking, stupid woodpeckers. Also, adulting sucks!

So, instead of real Europe, Ross and I took a much more cost effective trip to fake Europe. That’s right, as many of you know we went to Las Vegas.

We visited “Italy”…

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We visited “Paris”, kinda…

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And we visited “London”, actually we just rode an even bigger London Eye. We’ve now been on both but here’s the conversation that followed:

Ross: How many people do you think have been on both the London Eye and this thing?

Me: Probably alot. More importantly, how many people do you think have been on all of them?

Ross: Are there more?

Me: Probably. They probably have one in Singapore or some place like that.

Ross: Why Singapore?

Me: Cause Singapore is like that. They all kinds of shit.

Guess what the Google machine told me today…Hello Singapore Flyer

Anyway, we had a good time and I don’t miss the tourist death march of WWI battle fields that Ross would have taken me on through Belgium. There are only so many grassy fields that you can look at before you go bonkers.

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Vacation Prep Stress

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I leave for Vegas on Monday and I have nothing ready. I haven’t packed anything. I haven’t washed anything. Hell, I still need to buy stuff for myself, Ross, Scarlett, and the cat just to get through the week. I’m in trouble. I can already see this mad dash on Sunday night to get everything ready.

I don’t know what books I’m going to take or if I even want to take them. This is a conundrum for me. I should take my laptop and write. The question becomes, will I be more stressed out because I’m working or because I’m not. This is how my sick mind works.

Here’s my list:

  1. new flip flops
  2. new bathing suit
  3. new clothes (because nothing fits)
  4. cat food (because we don’t have any and a cat needs to eat…apparently)
  5. Yogurt for Scarlett. You can’t imagine that child in the morning without her yogurt. It turns into an international incident.
  6. travel soap
  7. new underwear and bra (not specifically for the vacation but because, you know, I wear it every day)
  8. new sandals that are comfortable to walk in
  9. water wings or floaties or whatever the hell you want to call them for Scarlett

These are not small things. I should have gotten some of these things a month ago but when did I have the time? Never, that’s when. That’s why all of this shit is waiting until the last minute.

In the mean time, I’m low grade stressing and waiting for the weekend. #Adultingishard

Don’t forget to follow my exploits next week on the hashtag #TreatYoSelf