It’s awards season again.

I used to say: IT’S AWARD’S SEASON!

That was back before I had a stressful job, a house that needed cleaned, and a toddler running amuck every waking moment. Now, when I watch the award shows, I have no idea what any of the movies are and probably never will. I’ve been to the movies exactly twice in the last six months (which was a Herculean feat in and of itself), and that was to see one of the Marvel movies (can’t remember which) and Rogue One.

If the movie doesn’t make it to HBO or Showtime, I’m not seeing it. Especially if it’s rated R, I’m definitely not seeing those movies. I have a limited window on the weekends. Basically, a possible two hour break when Scarlett naps. This isn’t long enough to watch anything! It’s barely enough to get a complete load of laundry done.

So, last night I sat and watched the Golden Globes. I’m not exactly sure why. Mostly from a sense that I should, instead of a real desire to do so. It was clear from the start that I had no idea what any of the movies were. The television shows were basically the same thing. At least those, I’d heard of. The only one I could root for was Game of Thrones. I watch that religiously. If you don’t, you should. It’s AMAZING!!!

I also rooted for Caitriona Balfe from Outlander because I LOVE that show. I might be having an imaginary love affair with Jamie Fraser. Ross is completely aware of my obsession and is fine with it, by the way. Don’t judge. But the voters for these awards never give anything to paranormal/Sci-Fi/Fantasy shows, so I knew she wasn’t going to win. I also knew Game of Thrones wasn’t going to win, but I was hoping…

Not having a horse in the race really took all the fun out of watching it. By 10pm, I was just waiting for the Memorial segment (aka The Parade of Death). I’m not sure why I love this so much, but I do. Anyway, it got to be 10:45pm and it still hadn’t happened. I turned to Ross and asked, “Where’s the Parade of Death?”

When he said that he didn’t think the Golden Globes did that, I shouted, “What?!? You mean I could’ve been asleep an hour ago? For fuck’s sake!”

I promptly rolled over, took my glasses off, and turned off my light. This is what my life has become. Those of you who aren’t parents don’t understand. I’m not holding it against you, I’m simply pointing out a fact. Sleep is precious and becomes more so when there’s a toddler in the house. As a point of fact, after I went to sleep, this is what my night looked like:

My kid was up at 3am and wanted to crawl into bed with us. Over the three hours that she was in bed with us, I got head butted, kicked in the back, and slapped in the face. Not to mention the fact that my daughter is one of the loudest sleepers I’ve ever seen; snoring, whimpering, heavy breathing, and talking. She actually called out Mommy so clearly, I thought she was awake at 4:30am.

This is why I don’t have time for this shit anymore. Now, awards season comes and goes and most of the time, I don’t even notice. Sad, but I like sleep better.

I’m not complaining, not really. I love my daughter and I wouldn’t trade her for the world, but there was a time I knew all the pop culture references and who everyone was. Last night, Ross kept asking me who people were and I kept saying, “I have no idea.” I can’t tell the difference between Jessica Chastain and Bryce Dallas Howard. I secretly think they’re the same person. Can you tell the difference??? I sure as hell can’t.

The thing is…I used to care. Now, not so much. The pressure of being in the know is gone and quite frankly, I look at awards season now as an extended trailer. I get a much better look at the movies with which I might want to waste a precious two hour time span on a Saturday afternoon. I don’t feel bad about that at all.