The short answer is nothing. Well, that’s not entirely true. I’ve been working from home and finding it more and more difficult to separate my work life from my home life. Which sucks because all it means is that i’m answering emails and IM’s all the damned time and not doing the things I want to do (aka read and write books – more the first one though). But what it also means is that this situation is my HEAVEN. I don’t ever have to leave my house or talk to anyone. Its amazing.

Meanwhile…

I have become curator of all zoom meetings/hang outs between all my colleagues, family, and friends. I’m not sure how this happened since I’m fine with tech stuff but its not like I’m building my own computers or writing code. I think the real reason is that I’m the only one who will actually take the initiative to set it up and that’s a personality failing. I really need to get better at slacking and being less responsible on basically every front.

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I have sewn a few Frankenstein masks. These had to be hand sewn because two grown ass adults can’t figure out how the thread the sewing machine correctly. I only made two because Ross still has to go out into the world for his work.And each one took me like 3 hours. I told him if he lost one, I would divorce him. I was only mildly joking about that. I then ordered some from Etsy because I’m not making anymore. This one I did with seam tape because I definitely wasn’t sewing any more.

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I finally got my office configured the way I have wanted for the past four years only to have everyone invade it since they are home all day.

Please notice all of the child stuff EVERYWHERE. Coloring books. Headphones. Toys. Chairs or EVERYONE. Also, you may notice that there are lamps on every surface. That would be because there is no overhead lighting and all of those lamps are Ikea lamps and they put out the amount of light a candle would. It’s dark as hell in my office most of the time.

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I ordered tile samples to renovate the downstairs bathroom because that’s a hot mess right now.

As i took the above picture, I watched the biggest fucking millipede walk across the floor. I did not engage. I turned off the light and slowly closed the door.

The only issue. They’re all coming in separate packages so they’re trickling in one at a time and it’s very annoying. All of the below pictures and items are from Wayfair.com. Which one do you like best?

5. Two days in a row, we’ve created an obstetrical course on our sidewalk. Two nights in a row, it’s rained and washed it all away. So, there’s that.

this video is crappy but if I got any closer then she would have made me do it too. I’m not doing that.

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My house is trashed because my 5 year old daughter is here all day and I’ve gotten to the point where it stresses me out but I don’t know where to start. There’s just so much. When we get our stimulus check, sometime in 2021…the first thing I’m going to do is hire a team of people to deep clean my house. I’m just not capable anymore. I would show you pictures but then I would have to acknowledge the validity of it and do something about it. This is how I cope.

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I have also discovered that this “deliver on orders totaling $25” is bullshit! I can’t go to the store you assholes. Just ship me what I want. Why does it matter? Just ship it, charge me for the shipping like you’re going to do anyway and be done with it! If I want to buy $23 worth of Sweetart Ropes and have them shipped, I don’t want any back talk from some stupid retailer about it. Just ship me my shit ton of licorice and be done with it.

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I have decided pants with buttons and zippers are stupid.

That is all.

Happy Social Distancing!