Tag Archives: ikea

Things I’ve Accomplished During Self-ISOLATION

The short answer is nothing. Well, that’s not entirely true. I’ve been working from home and finding it more and more difficult to separate my work life from my home life. Which sucks because all it means is that i’m answering emails and IM’s all the damned time and not doing the things I want to do (aka read and write books – more the first one though). But what it also means is that this situation is my HEAVEN. I don’t ever have to leave my house or talk to anyone. Its amazing.


I have become curator of all zoom meetings/hang outs between all my colleagues, family, and friends. I’m not sure how this happened since I’m fine with tech stuff but its not like I’m building my own computers or writing code. I think the real reason is that I’m the only one who will actually take the initiative to set it up and that’s a personality failing. I really need to get better at slacking and being less responsible on basically every front.

I have sewn a few Frankenstein masks. These had to be hand sewn because two grown ass adults can’t figure out how the thread the sewing machine correctly. I only made two because Ross still has to go out into the world for his work.And each one took me like 3 hours. I told him if he lost one, I would divorce him. I was only mildly joking about that. I then ordered some from Etsy because I’m not making anymore. This one I did with seam tape because I definitely wasn’t sewing any more.

I finally got my office configured the way I have wanted for the past four years only to have everyone invade it since they are home all day.

Please notice all of the child stuff EVERYWHERE. Coloring books. Headphones. Toys. Chairs or EVERYONE. Also, you may notice that there are lamps on every surface. That would be because there is no overhead lighting and all of those lamps are Ikea lamps and they put out the amount of light a candle would. It’s dark as hell in my office most of the time.

I ordered tile samples to renovate the downstairs bathroom because that’s a hot mess right now.

As i took the above picture, I watched the biggest fucking millipede walk across the floor. I did not engage. I turned off the light and slowly closed the door.

The only issue. They’re all coming in separate packages so they’re trickling in one at a time and it’s very annoying. All of the below pictures and items are from Wayfair.com. Which one do you like best?

5. Two days in a row, we’ve created an obstetrical course on our sidewalk. Two nights in a row, it’s rained and washed it all away. So, there’s that.

this video is crappy but if I got any closer then she would have made me do it too. I’m not doing that.

My house is trashed because my 5 year old daughter is here all day and I’ve gotten to the point where it stresses me out but I don’t know where to start. There’s just so much. When we get our stimulus check, sometime in 2021…the first thing I’m going to do is hire a team of people to deep clean my house. I’m just not capable anymore. I would show you pictures but then I would have to acknowledge the validity of it and do something about it. This is how I cope.

I have also discovered that this “deliver on orders totaling $25” is bullshit! I can’t go to the store you assholes. Just ship me what I want. Why does it matter? Just ship it, charge me for the shipping like you’re going to do anyway and be done with it! If I want to buy $23 worth of Sweetart Ropes and have them shipped, I don’t want any back talk from some stupid retailer about it. Just ship me my shit ton of licorice and be done with it.

I have decided pants with buttons and zippers are stupid.

That is all.

Happy Social Distancing!

Ode to Gränsakskaka

First, if you thought this was going to be an actual poem – Nope. Joke’s on you



You may look at this and say, what the actual hell is even in that? How do you say it? Why would you buy food at Ikea? The answer to all those questions is . . . I don’t know. I don’t care. They are delicious and I don’t even care that they’re 4 points EACH. They are cheesy, oniony, and quite frankly – even though I’m over broccoli – I can eat this with broccoli in it and not completely turn my stomach. I am soooooo broccoli’d out. I’m also over green beans. I think this might be my last week of corn too. There’s only so much corn you can eat before your body rejects every kernel. Plus, I’ve discovered that if you actually cut the kernels from the cob…there’s so much more corn. Who knew? I’ve been eating a cob of corn (is that how’d you say that???) every day for three weeks. That’s alot.

You may ask yourself, why is she spending an entire blog on this weird food item? That’s a justified question. It’s because they’re fucking amazing. I ate one as a snack the other day. That’s right. I heated up my oven to 390° (because that’s a random temperature) and popped it in the oven. I was sad that I didn’t put more. I made them for dinner (and graciously left one for Ross – by the way) and when he came in with a Wendy’s bag…

I’m still a little mad at him for wasting it and that was three days ago.

Next time I go to Ikea, I need to get like four boxes of these things. #SorryNotSorry

Ikea Grand Opening in Columbus!!!

I missed my post yesterday. I apologize for that. Ross and I took the day off to go to the Ikea Grand Opening here in Columbus. That’s right, we’re those dorks. Also, I’m not really ashamed to tell you that it isn’t the first Ikea Grand Opening we’ve been to. We absolutely went to the opening in West Chester (aka outside Cincinnati).

If you’ve never been, then you’re missing out. You might be asking yourself, how many people could have possibly been there for a Grand Opening? At least five or six hundred people. It wasn’t as bad as everyone thought it would be.


I got there about 10 minutes before Ross since he had to drop our daughter off at daycare. He arrived at about the same time as a few bus loads of people. It became a race to see if Ross could make the line before the hordes of people on the buses. I don’t understand why they were on buses. There were plenty of places to park. And honestly, how do you buy anything at Ikea and take it back on a bus? That just seems wrong. They even let people line up two days ahead of time. Who would do this? Well…

So, they sang the US national anthem and some dude from Missouri sang the Swedish national anthem which was amazing. They cut a log, cause that’s what you do. Be prepared. I take horrible video. I got distracted by the log. LOL


And, someone from the Swedish Embassy was there. I personally think that this is this guy’s job, to go around and open Ikeas. I mean, it’s a good gig.

Ross and I were in there for only like an hour. We knew what we wanted. We knew where it was. And, it was a pretty big purchase so we needed time to put it together. There’s only so much an allen wrench can do.

We’re creating a library and needed a set of bookcases that mirrored the bookcases we already had.


Old ones.


New ones.

Here’s the other issue. Ross and I clearly have a different set of priorities than most people. Here’s what the rest of the room looks like.

There are plenty of places for the books to sit. Not enough for us. Actually, now that I think about it. Our priorities are correct.

Don’t worry. I have plenty of books to fill both sets.