I think its time we revisit the Facebook Marketplace, mostly because this is the gift that keeps on giving. I did a quick scroll down the page and these are the things I found. I must share how messed up my brain works because these were my first thoughts and how I wanted to group these things together. Dear lord, I have problems.
Basically, everything on these two pages are stolen. Anyone who has that many Mac monitors (on the left), yeah – they’re stolen. The whole section on the left is definitely stolen. Something definitely fell off a truck…somewhere. How do you even get an entire tub of cords that are exactly the same? Who’s looking at that picture going, “You know, I could definitely use a couple THOUSAND cords.” No one! No one ever said that.
Very VERY Reduced
This office desk used to be $30,000 but you can get it for the low low cost of $300. Someone has definitely had sex on this thing. It’s been defiled! Don’t do it. I don’t care how much you need a rounded 1980’s style reception desk. There are other options. I promise.
Also, I’ve purchased office furniture before. There’s no way this thing cost $30,000 originally. $5,000…possibly.
So, if you’re looking to murder someone, Facebook Marketplace is the site for you. We’ve got barrels to stuff bodies in. We’ve got air-tight tubs for your dismembered body parts. We’ve got giant piles of logs to burn any pesky remnants of the crime. And hey, we even have a big tub of cords (see above) if you need to tie someone up and stuff them in your trunk.
Jesus, this place is like a serial killer’s Costco. Where are the surplus tarps or rolls and rolls of plastic sheeting when you need it?
What the Fuck is in those Jars?
So, it said honey but do we really know? My vote is for piss. It’s definitely jars filled with piss.
I actually didn’t scroll for very long. I didn’t have to. Facebook Marketplace is a hot mess. What I want to know, is who actually shops from this site? Who is ordering jars of piss? Why? Why are you doing it?
Honestly, I’m thinking about order one of those jars. I’d be very disappointed if it actually was honey.