Tag Archives: Stephen Osborne

I’m Not 25 Anymore

This past weekend, I was in Detroit at Rust City Book Convention. I had a blast. I met some great authors and great readers. We talked about all things books and more Star Wars vs. Star Trek than I wanted. I was on a couple of really interesting panels that covered everything from Reality vs Fantasy to The Evolution of Women.

On Friday, I was scheduled for a Meet & Greet. If you don’t know what these are, this is where readers or fans can come and interact on a personal level with the authors. Sometimes it’s a sit down, a lunch, or even a party. We chose to go with the latter. My Meet and Greet had a “Scare of the Dark” theme.

The blurb:

Bring your spookiest stories, freakiest costumes, and an appetite for s’mores as Sara Dobie Bauer, Roselynn Cannes, Mackenzie Flohr, Evan D. Heuker, and Suzanne Sabol (I don’t need to link this – HA! Cause you’re already here.) do their best to entertain, amuse … and maybe make you scream. But Stephen Osborne was there too, so I don’t want to leave him out.

First, you guys were a hoot! I had so much fun hanging out with everyone. We dressed up and played games.  We also did a whole lot of drinking. Well, a couple of us did a whole lot of drinking. Jackie, I’m looking in your direction. I can’t really tell you how much wine I consumed. Red wine. But I can tell you that I drank 4, or was it 5 s’mores shots. #Saramakesgreatshots

I remember that I was given fake vampire teeth. However, I have no idea what happened to them.

I know I smoked a cigarette (p.s. I haven’t smoked in like 8 or 9 years). I also know that I smelled that cigarette for the entire next day. It was burned into my nostrils and considering I can’t smell ANYTHING, that’s a miracle. I smelled that thing even after a shower. Even after separating all my clothes.

I know I was incredibly obnoxious but hilarious which is my contribution to the night and, hell, the world. You’re welcome.

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That’s me at the Meet & Greet before shenanigans began. Yes, that’s a purple wig. And yes, that is a severed hand ring toss. The guy in the elevator on my way down gave me a wide eyed once over. I just nodded and said, “What’s up?” He didn’t answer.

All I know is this is going to be amazing at Halloween. I also had a cape which you can see draped behind me on the chair. But let’s face it, with the wig, the pants that were made of a material only astronauts wear, and the corset, I was sweating balls. I felt like I was going through menopause in a hotel that had it’s air conditioning set at 65 degrees. I’m sure the alcohol consumption didn’t help. Also, it has clearly been a while since I wore heels because I was dying and eventually ended up peeling them off and walking up to my hotel room in my bare feet. I don’t care.

So, what do we take away from this?

  1. Red wine is not an alcohol you should consume to get drunk. The next day sucks and quite frankly, it doesn’t look to pretty coming back up. You’re welcome.
  2. I’m too old to drink like that.
  3. I loved smoking and I might be too old for that too. Also, I forgot how horrible it smelled.
  4. My fellow authors and readers are AMAZING!