We’re going to talk about a couple of things today.

First, Godless.

I am completely obsessed with this show. It’s brutal, graphic, jaw dropping at times, and honestly it was nice to not have to watch women cower in the corner for a change. Those bitches were hard core and it was amazing. Jeff Daniels was equal parts creepy and benevolent. The cinematography was incredible. And can I just reiterate that 1. some bad shit happened 2. those bitches picked themselves up and 3. they moved the fuck on and didn’t manage to turn into monsters. However, they did manage to kick some serious ass. So there’s that.

Next…Bright.

Oh, Bright…

This had so much potential. The bones were there to make something incredible. However, there were some problems.

1. So, the point of Fantasy is to kinda take humanity, reflect it back at you while skewing/blurring the morality you know. Like is racism okay now that there are orcs and elves in the picture? This didn’t do that. . . at all.
2. It was dark. I don’t mean like atmospherically dark. I mean I couldn’t see shit. If you are adding all of these fantastical elements that apparently mean something, I kinda need to see them.
3. Evidently, something happened 2000 years ago between orcs/humans/elves but that is never explained so, you never really understand the implications of what happened or why it’s important. Hell, you don’t even understand if it was important, just that something happened.
   1. Okay, so if this big thing happened 2000 years ago, how did society basically evolve identically to how it is in real life?
4. They kept saying that they were in a prophecy but no one ever said what that prophecy was or why it was important! Plus, there seemed to be conflicting prophecies for what they were doing vs the orcs’ prophecy (cause evidently, everyone has a prophecy), so I’m not entirely sure which one we were heading toward because I NEVER had either of them spoken out loud.
5. They were attempting to stop this “Dark Lord” from coming back but no one ever said what this “Dark Lord’s” intentions were or why they were bad.
6. So, everyone is after this magic wand. Half the city get’s shot up in the pursuit of this wand. However, it is common knowledge that only a Bright can touch a magic wand and those are rare. If you touch a magic wand, you kinda disappear. Where? Who knows? That’s never explained either. Maybe they were vaporized. I don’t know. Anyway, here’s the question. If you can’t touch the wand to use it and you don’t have anyone who can, what is the fucking point of having the wand in the first place?

However, despite all of these problems…Netflix has ordered a sequel. Can we please consult a fantasy writer before filming this shit? Please? Just please. Ask for help! People will thank you for it.