Well, it’s been a while. Three weeks to be exact. I’ve been crazy busy. Let me see if I can catch you up.

I’ve been reading non-stop for judging purposes.

• First it was the Rita awards which I didn’t final. Honestly, I don’t even know why I enter that thing. I’m not a romance writer, not really, and they don’t know what to do with me.
• Then it was the Prism which I haven’t heard yet if I am a finalist. Keeping my fingers crossed. Again though, don’t have high hopes since I’m not a straight romance writer. Although the Fantasy community tends to be a little more forgiving about the romance thing.
• Now, it’s the Ignite the Flame contest, mainly out of guilt. This is what happens when your writing group emails you directly and lays it on thick. Since I’d never judged that particular contest before (and I’ve been a member for almost 10 years now), there was a small amount of guilt that sat heavy in the pit of my stomach…so I agreed. Only to two or three entries though. I do have to actually write something this summer after all.
• Plus, I don’t know why but the entries that I have been judging in all three of these contests were just…bad. Either poorly written, horribly cliched tropes – and the I’m going to kidnap you because you’re my fated mate and you’re going to like it scenario doesn’t work in the #metoo era. It’s all a bit “no means yes” for me. I think we can leave that behind. The whole time I was reading these horrible books, all I kept thinking was that someone was reading my book at that very moment and thinking the same thing. UGH! It was all very demoralizing and depressing.

Ross and I got a weekend away to go to a wedding. We had a great time. I got trashed on red wine and let’s be honest, throwing up red wine might be one of the most horrible experiences of anyone’s life. You think that shit is acidic going down?!? Try having it come back up and through your nose… You’re welcome! #sorrynotsorry.

Also, I’m a shit. The couple had door knobs on their registry. I get why. They bought a house and are renovating. But I couldn’t resist. There were 5 gold doorknobs and 7 silver doorknobs. First, why are you mixing colors? Second, the idea of doorknobs as a wedding present made the asshole in me come alive (which doesn’t take much). So, instead of being nice and buying all five of the gold doorknobs on their registry, I only bought four. I wrapped them in a big box filled with tissue paper so that when they open them, they’ll be looking for all five door knobs and it won’t be there. Ross was irritated that we were going to have to carry this huge box up to Cleveland to take to the wedding. I then reminded him that they were going to have to cart this huge box from Cleveland to Baltimore – cause that’s where they live. That appeased his grouchy old man beast. Then on the card I wrote, “Hope you enjoy the knobs!”. Bahahahaha! You’re welcome Cara!

This is Ross at the reception. That’s right, the reception was at Brown’s Stadium.

Moving on.

Scarlett had a play date with another little kid which was the MOST uncomfortable 2.5 hours of my life. I’m not a social person. AT ALL. Idle chit chat is the most painful thing in the world for me. That’s why I married Ross, so he could do all the chit chatting for me. I’m only half joking about that. I think I’d rather have a root canal than partake in chit chat. I kept looking at my fitbit wondering if it was okay to leave. Don’t get me wrong. These people were very nice. I’m just not the social butterfly that flourishes by engaging in conversation with others. This was, literally, my nightmare come to life. I don’t think I can communicate to you the level of discomfort and dread I felt throughout this whole endeavor. Especially when you take into account the anticipation for the two weeks leading up to this play date and actual suffering during the play date itself that I experienced. And Ross just laughed at me. Because don’t forget, he’s an asshole too.

And finally.

This was Scarlett’s first go around for soccer. I spent most of my Saturday mornings for six weeks straight yelling across a soccer field that the ball was the other way as she picked flowers of walked with the coach as all the other little kids actually ran after the ball. There were many instances of Scarlett running across the field to get a “mommy hug” before I shoved her back out onto the field to run in the complete opposite direction as everyone else. She’s really good in practice and running in general. Is there preschool track? She might be really good at that…

I think you’re all caught up at this point. Until next time.