Let’s face it, the only reason anyone is on facebook is to troll other people (maybe that’s just me). Especially, people you really don’t talk to anymore, aka from High School or College. Social media is a weird thing though. You expose so much of yourself without really thinking about it. And then sometimes, you expose a shit ton of yourself intentionally.
There are people that I HATED. People that were so incredibly nasty to me while I was growing up that the mention of their name would make me boil inside. People that made going to middle school and high school painful and agonizing. You know those people. The ones that their mere presence changes your mood or the ones that try to tear you down and make you feel bad about yourself.
I get it if you don’t like someone. Hell, I don’t like a lot of people. I mean…a lot. However, I don’t go out of my way to marginalize those people. I can be civil. Actually, civil is a stretch for my normal personality, so quiet. I can be quiet.
Why am I friends on facebook with these people – you might ask? Trolling and the need to compare success vs. failure against others. I might be a little competitive.
Let me just say this, there is a point where you have disclosed WAY too much on social media. And of course, I read these posts. It’s like a slow moving train wreck. I can’t turn away. It’s the same reason why the Kardashians have so much money. We just eat that shit up.
Here’s where things get tricky and emotionally murky. When you disclose that much about yourself on social media, I begin to realize just how FUCKED UP you are. I realize that all of those times you were hateful and mean, were because of you and not me. Don’t get me wrong; I not the prettiest, the smartest, the thinnest, definitely not the nicest but I’m okay with that. I’ve always been just fine with who I am and comfortable in my own skin. So, if that’s the part that bothered you, I won’t apologize for it. I am confident in who I am and what I do.
Here’s the murky part. I can’t hate you now. All I have left is some mangled ball of pity and loss because I liked hating you. I had an arch-nemesis. And now…I don’t.
I’m working on finding another one though. Keep faith that I will find another person to fill that slot. Every hero/villain needs an arch-nemesis. I’ll leave it to your discretion to figure out which one I am.