Candles to Put you in the Mood

Can we talk about this commercial for a moment?

I have so many questions.

Is it the 3-wicks that make it a mood changer? If there are only 2-wicks, is that just a so-so night?

What if you’re asexual AND have a 3-wick candle? What does this do to your psyche? How do you cope with the drastic swing in hormones???

What scent, exactly, is glade putting out there that is going to make people want to have sex?

  • “Honey? Is that the lilac blossom candle you have burning? Well, I’ll just drop my panties right here.”
  • “I’ve never smelled tropical flowers before. I think I’d like to have sex now.”
  • “I know you’ve had a hard day, but I’m going to light this balsm candle so we can get it on!”
  • “Man, that tropical breeze scent just really does it for me!”

I don’t know if this is supposed to be subliminal or not, but the decor is SUPER vaginal. I really hope this was accidental. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad it’s vaginal instead of phallic because we have enough of those in our life. Because if I had the choice of imagry, I’m definitely going the vaginal route.

Ross and I actually paused the television and turned to each other with questions neither of us could answer.

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