I feel frazzled.
I feel exhausted.
I feel stressed. We’re leaving for vacation next week and I have all of this prepping/packing/preparing that has to be done. Because if I didn’t do it, they would just throw shit in a bag and then bitch later about why this or that wasn’t packed.
I feel annoyed listening to the woman in the office next to me cough up a chunky wet lung and breathe as if she’s just run a mile.
I feel irritated that I have three separtate salon appointments on three different days because I had to work around my daughter’s schedule, my husband’s schedule, and the salon schedule. The only person’s schedule that didn’t seem to matter was mine.
This week has been rough.
Monday – I forgot my lunch. Then when I ordered food to be delivered, the driver got lost. It could have been that someone gave me the wrong address. I’m not blaming anyone…not really. Okay, I’m blaming her hard core.
Tuesday – Remembered by lunch but forgot a fork. My lunches are corn, green beans, carrots, and a salmon filet. I need a utensil for that and there wasn’t a single plastic one laying around. What office doesn’t have emergency utensils left over from some THING that they did before?
Wednesday – I can’t get the fucking USPS site to work so I can stop our mail for next week. It won’t let me choose a date and GOD DAMN IT, this should be a simple task. Nope!
That’s just a taste of how my brain is functioning and the shit revolving around me at the moment. I’ve been falling asleep pretty hard at the end of the night and although, I’m glad I’m sleeping pretty hard – I don’t like feeling exhausted mentally.
I feel like I have to be all things for all people. I’m not sure you can burn the candle at both ends and the middle but if you could, I’d be doing it right now.
I have a book coming out next month. Actually in a month, on May 4th (May the 4th be with you) and I have no idea what the fuck is going on. I know I paid for a book tour but, that’s about it. Oh shit! I need to put out a newsletter – thank you for joining me in my stream of consciousness as my brain implodes!
I haven’t written anything new in a few months now. The time just keeps slipping away with other things and I can’t keep focused. ARGH! It’s very frustrating.
Get organized, you might say. I am the most fucking organized person you could possibly meet. The problem is that the things needing my attention are all over the damned place and popping up all the time.
If you feel like this post is disjointed, welcome to my life at the moment. There will come a moment when I completely shut down. Where my brain and body just say – NOPE – and I’m left in the fetal position in a corner somewhere babbling nonsense. So, I’ve got that to look forward to.