Category Archives: Uncategorized

The secret “JOYS” of pregnancy

If you haven’t already guessed by the title of this post, I’m knocked up. This is my first child and at 36 years old, I’m categorized as elderly in my medical records. This fact does not particularly sit well with me. I’M NOT THAT OLD.  Also, at this point, more people have seen my hoo-ha in the last four months than have been to a circus. With two trips to the emergency room and a doctor’s office that has revolving doctors, I’m no longer shy about flashing the world. I pretty much feel the world has already seen what I have to offer.

I’ve also discovered some things that the books and your friends won’t tell you until you get knocked up which just isn’t fair.

Things they don’t tell you:

1. Your gag reflex becomes ridiculously sensitive. So sensitive, in fact, that I’ve gagged myself several times brushing my teeth. I’ve dry heaved to the point of throwing up. That, sure  as hell, wasn’t in any of the books.

2. People want to touch you. Why? I don’t know. I don’t grant wishes or have magical powers. I also don’t know you so get the fuck out of my personal space, and keep your hands to yourself. I’m going to start walking around with a hula hoop tied around my waist like someone wearing a barrel. If you are against the hula hoop barrier, you are too close. BACK UP! I can already feel an assault charge coming my way at the prospect of random people just walking up and touching me. If you haven’t noticed, I have personal space issues.

3. Morning sickness is a misnomer. It doesn’t just happen in the morning and you don’t always throw up. Sometimes, like me, you’re sick from when you get up until you go to bed and never once throw up from it. You just feel like a sluggish piece of nauseated crap ALL DAY LONG. So, there’s that.

4. You may also bleed which is frightening. Hence, the two trips to the emergency room. The second time, I passed a blood clot the size of a small chicken which prompted us to visit the lovely new OSU emergency room at 10 pm on a Sunday night. We didn’t get home until around 2 am. Fun times.

5. You will be both hungry and full all the time. I eat a hand full of something and want to throw up from being too full. Half an hour later, I’m ready to rip someone’s head off because I’m starving. It’s both annoying and aggravating. I started keeping snacks around the house to prepare for this so I could have a quick bite and then go on about my day. The only problem is that my husband keeps eating all my fucking snacks. So now, I’m hungry and pissed because what I wanted to eat is no longer in the house.

6. It’s weird to have someone growing inside you. When you see it on the screen, it’s a little like aliens and you think, “God, that’s weird.” We still don’t know what the gender is and my friend made the statement, “you might have a penis growing inside of you right now.” When you stop to think about it, that’s weird, especially when you put it like that.


I promise not to fill this blog with baby related posts, just he funny stuff. I just had to get this one off my chest.

Emails and Math Evidently Don’t Mix

This conversation actually took place this week! When you don’t believe me that I work with some ridiculous people, I’m have PROOF! Then names have been changed (except for mine) to protect the innocent...Ahem. The trail ends with that snarky THANK YOU! Even though I just answered a question of simple math. MATH! We work at a university, that should not be above you, especially considering this person is also a fiscal officer. SIGH


I’m sorry but the trail starts at the bottom and reads up.




From: Suzanne
Sent: Tuesday, August 12, 2014 9:39 AM
To: xxxxxxxxx
Subject: RE: GTA for Spring 15


Hi xxxxxx,





From: xxxxxxx
Sent: Tuesday, August 12, 2014 9:37 AM
To: Suzanne
Subject: RE: GTA for Spring 15


Ok, what is the total stipend for each category of GTA for one semester?



From: Suzanne
Sent: Tuesday, August 12, 2014 9:36 AM
To: xxxxxxxx
Subject: RE: GTA for Spring 15


Each semester is 4.5 now. So SP would be January 1 through May 15th.


From: xxxxxxx
Sent: Tuesday, August 12, 2014 9:35 AM
To: Suzanne
Subject: RE: GTA for Spring 15


Would that would be 4 monthly payments (Jan-Apr) or 5 (Jan – May)?  We rarely use GTA’s and I seem to remember the first year of the semester conversion this was an issue.




From: Suzanne
Sent: Tuesday, August 12, 2014 9:33 AM
To: xxxxxxxx
Subject: RE: GTA for Spring 15


Hi xxxxxx,

MA student is 1500 a month

PhD is 1550 a month

And ABD is 1600 a month.



From: xxxxxxxx
Sent: Tuesday, August 12, 2014 9:32 AM
To: Suzanne
Subject: GTA for Spring 15


Hi Suzanne,


Hope you had a nice summer.  Director has agreed to give your faculty member a GTA 50% in support of teaching 2500 in Spring 15.  I wanted to put this on your radar since your department would be supplying the graduate student. Our plan would be to pick up stipend and fee waiver.  What do you pay your graduate students?



True Blood…WTF?

Okay, I’ve been watching True Blood since the beginning because at the time, I loved the books. The last three books cured me of that particular disease. I’ve never spent so much time in a damned piggly wiggly and I’ve never actually been inside one.

Sigh, but I digress.

There have been questionable seasons of True Blood, Season 2 with the Maenad was weird and went nowhere. That whole season with the Fae and Rutger Hauer, yeah that was kinda in the books but it wasn’t really all that great there either. The Fae war was definitely something they should have left by the way side. Last season was pretty good though, with the Authority and Bill going all evil and shit. I hate Bill so I was all for him going evil and needing to die. That made me happy. Then they made him nice again and I wanted to puke.

Back to my point and I promise there is one.

This season, the last season…I’m not sure what to make of it. Every episode I watch, I come away with a complete feeling of ambivalence. Its an hour out of my week that I check my email and book stats while Sookie runs around Bon Temps and characters from years gone by make appearances and I try to remember who they are and why I should care. The best part of this season and quite frankly any season has been Pam and Lafayette. And no, I’m not forgetting Alexander Skarsgard. He is beautiful and I love – LOVE – Eric Northman but Pam and Lafayette are on a planet all their own. When Pam looks in the mirror and says “look, I’m a republicunt”, I almost blew Iced Tea out of my nose. FANTASTIC!

This season is like an extended version of And the Band Played On.  I don’t understand Hep V. What is the point and why I should care that vampires are dying from a weird blood born disease? It’s depressing and because everyone is sick, they are mopey and sad.

They’re vampires.

They’re already dead.

Don’t give me 10 minutes of sad pre-true death grief. I don’t care.

There seems to be no arc, no purpose other than watching people cry and die. Ugh, there are only 3 episodes left and I just don’t care. I’ll watch them as I read the last three books despite being annoyed. I don’t, however, see anyway to redeem this season. They would have to blow up Bon Temps and kill everyone to make this right. I don’t see that happening.

Then again, after Game of Thrones, everything pales in comparison.

Black Dalliances Deleted Scene

This is a deleted scene from Black Dalliances. Its been a while since I’ve put a snippet up and I was pretty sure you were tired of Disney posts. LOL!


“This bedroom suite is pretty,” I said. Jade and I had already purchased a furniture for the living room, tables, everything for the dining room and kitchen, an outfit for a den with a large enough desk that if Patrick and Dean could share, two smaller bedroom suites and small pieces for the bathrooms. The only thing left was my bedroom.

The salesman was salivating at the commission he was going to get. I didn’t even want to know how much everything was. I just handed over the card Dean had given me and cringed. We still had to go to Macy’s and buy everything else. I didn’t realize how expensive it was to furnish a home from scratch, furnish a life from nothing.

“It’s nice but not sturdy enough. It also doesn’t come in a California King. You need a California King,” she answered absently, peering down at the informational tag attached to the bed post. She’d hugged me and said she was glad to see me but there was a distance between us she was trying like hell to maintain.

“Why do I need a California King?” I asked, forcing her to look at me, talk to me in more than a clipped sentence. Her striking green eyes met mine, almost cold.

“Dean,” she said, hoisting her bag back up over her shoulder. “He’s a big guy. You’ll need the length.”

“I’m not sleeping with him,” I said, in defense of God knows what but Jade made me feel all of a sudden like I had to defend myself.

“Not yet,” she said simply, turning to walk down the aisle.

“What the hell?” I snapped. “Is there a problem?” I stormed after her.

“Nope,” she clipped out.

“Bullshit,” I said. “What’s going on?” Her eyes narrowed on me in a way that made me rear back from her in surprise. She watched me for an uncomfortable moment then blew out a heavy breath. She ran her hands through her thick chestnut hair in frustration.

“I thought this,” she said, waving her hands between us, “would be like you weren’t even gone. I thought we would finally get back to normal. But all I can think about is how MAD I am at you,” she finished through clenched teeth.

“Then yell at me. Get it out. Say whatever it is you want to say. I can take it.”

“Dahlia, we’re in the middle of a furniture store,” she said, almost ashamed but not really. The fire in her dark green eyes was too bright.

“I don’t care. We’re spending enough money in here today that they’d better let us have a fist fight if we wanted,” I said, a sly grin curling my lips. She couldn’t help but laugh even as she tried to hide it behind her hand. I still saw the laughter dancing in her eyes.

“Dahlia!” she giggled.

“Seriously, if you have something to say, say it. I don’t want this tension between us.”

“Okay,” she said with a sly smile. “Well,” she started pensively, and then came the onslaught. “I can’t believe you left without saying anything to me. I was worried sick. I had things to tell you every day and you weren’t there to hear them!” she shouted.

I could see the hesitation in her body, wanting desperately to stomp her foot but thought she was too much of a grown up for that.

“I can’t believe you disappeared and I couldn’t find you,” she hissed, almost to herself but I heard it.

“That’s it, isn’t it?” I laughed. “You’re mad that I disappeared and YOU couldn’t find me,” I taunted.

“That’s not true,” she said with indignation but I could hear her heart thump in her chest. Caught like a bunny in the brush.

“It is too and you know it. Don’t try to lie, I can hear your heart thump in your chest and smell adrenaline wafting off of you,” I said, still smiling at her. “Ah, grasshopper, when you know who’s chasing you, it’s easier to hide,” I said, bowing at the waist.

“Okay, stop smelling me. It’s weird when you do that and you know it,” she said, brushing her hair out of her face again. “So, what do you think about this one?” she asked with a satisfied smile on her face. Just like that, we were back to normal.

“Nah, that’s too gaudy for me. Plus, I’m going to need more dresser space. You know for Patrick and Dean,” I said, dropping that little tidbit, casually as I walked by her.

“Oh, you’re admitting it now?” she asked, taking the two steps to catch up with me.

“I admit nothing.”

“Uh huh, like everyone doesn’t already know that if it hasn’t happened yet, it will,” she teased, pointing out another bedroom collection. My gut tightened in regret. Even when I wasn’t around, Patrick’s face was being rubbed in it.

“Jade, Patrick asked me to leave last night,” I whispered as she turned down another aisle.


“When Saeran and Fergal arrived last night, he asked me to leave. I heard him through the door after I left. He doesn’t trust me,” I said. A queasy tightening at the core of my gut sent chills over me as regret crept over my skin.

Wrapping her arms around me, cautiously since I’d never let her hug me before, Jade embraced me. When I hugged her back, her body tensed and then relaxed in my arms. “Don’t worry. He’s hurt but most of all mad. Give him some time, he’ll come around,” she soothed, making me think of Amblan. For the first time since her death, I smiled at her memory. Jade stepped away from me and gave me a reassuring smile. “Okay?”


“So how do you feel about this one?” she said, gripping my shoulders and turning me toward a gargantuan paneled headboard in cherry, appearing sturdy like it belonged in a forgotten castle in the highlands of Scotland somewhere. Perfect.

“Does it come in the California King?” I asked with hope in my tone.

“Sure does,” she smirked.

“Let’s get it.” I turned to the salesman. “I don’t want to see the bill,” I said, handing him the card. I figured it was a platinum card, it could take the hit.

“We want delivery today,” Jade said to the horror of the salesman.

“Miss, I don’t know if that will be possible,” he simpered.

“We can take our business somewhere else, somewhere that will guarantee it if you’d prefer,” she chortled. Finally witnessing Jade in her element, she was like a lioness; regal, demanding and dangerous. It was fun to watch.

“That won’t be necessary. I’ll deliver it myself if I have to,” he squirmed, scurrying off with Dean’s credit card.

“Let’s just hope it all goes through,” I whispered, praying after Jade practically emasculated the poor guy.

“It will,” she said and I had no reason to doubt her. “What do ya say? Macy’s?” She smiled at me. “You need sheets, blankets, clothes, dishes, kitchen appliances and general stuff, towels and all the rest.” She strutted back to the service desk to arrange delivery and I followed her helpless. We’d brought Kurt’s SUV because Jade said ‘we’d need the room’, now I understood why.

Questions Kids Never Ask

I joined the Disney Movie Club. Why, you might ask… I don’t particularly have a good reason for this, other than in the back of my brain I believe i should own every Disney movie every made. It’s a sickness.

I’ve watched most of them as both a child and an adult. There are questions I ask today that I wouldn’t have thought to ask before.

1. In The Little Mermaid



Everyone speaks English. Is English the official language of the ocean?

If so, why does Sebastian have a Caribbean accent?

How did he get to King Triton’s court?

Why do the animals understand English?

What kind of dude is Eric to fall in love with a voice? Creepy.

What kind of father is Triton that he could have given Ariel legs the whole time and chose not to? Humanphobic much??? That’s just bad parenting.

Also, when Sebastian is singing “Kiss the Girl” on the boat, can Eric hear and understand him? Ariel can clearly hear and understand him and she’s human/mermaid…can Eric? Who the hell does he think is singing this weird song? And is no one else disturbed by the ducks forcing the turtles to roll over so they can beat on their underside? This seems like a species crime.

So, here’s a technical question. How does Ariel pee?

What do mer-people eat? They fear the humans because their fish eaters so what? Nothing but seaweed all day long? That seems really boring. No wonder she wanted out.

How do mer-people have sex? How do they reproduce? THEY DON’T HAVE A HOLE!

These are the questions that occupy my mind now when I’m watching Disney movies. Does this mean the magic is gone? I don’t think so. It just means my imagination has to work harder to make everything plausible. Right????

Black Dalliances Excerpt

BlackDalliances_850 (1)Chapter 1

Columbus Ohio, Present Day

The elevator pinged and the light for the third floor flashed a harsh white light. I sighed. Only one more floor. Christ on crutches! The air in the elevator was thick with testosterone and not all of it was Dean’s.

Everett stood next to me like he was the last thing standing in the way before my complete obliteration. His navy eyes darted from me to Dean and back again. The glasses he’d worn as part of his cover in Las Vegas were gone. It had taken some convincing but I’d managed to get Ev to chuck them in the trash. He’d been attached to them, reminding him of him dead girlfriend. He’d put on several pounds since Vegas, even in the few days of eating well in the company of real werewolves. His protectiveness was sweet but his useless grandstanding was pissing Dean off and making the air hard to breathe with the heat vibrating off of them both.

Ev had been standing between me and the world since we’d rolled back into town a few days ago. A small part of me was thankful. If I was paying attention to Ev and worrying about him, I couldn’t focus on the strain between me and the men I loved. I should’ve stopped Ev, but what good did that do me?

Yeah, I was a shit. I couldn’t help but smile as Dean went into Alpha male mode, brooding and grumbling under his breath as Ev forced distance between Dean and me. Dean’s broad shoulders tensed as he suffered through Ev’s demonstration and the harsh yellow light from the elevator gleamed off Dean’s clean-shaven head. He wasn’t losing his hair, he just didn’t care what he looked like or want to deal with a trifling little thing like hair. I’d forgotten how deeply tanned his olive skin could get and the shimmering brown flesh made my stomach flutter. Strong. Secure enough in his own power to not thrash Ev about as the kid tried to make his presence known in a very tiny elevator.

Ev couldn’t out bully Dean, but he could physically stand between us. I let Dean stew. Leaning against the back of the elevator with my shoulders pressed against the mirrored wall, I crossed my arms underneath my breasts and waited for the slow rise of the car and the inevitable ping of salvation.

I caught Dean’s Caribbean blue wolf eyes over Everett’s head and shrugged, giving him my most apologetic grin. That was all he was getting out of me. It wasn’t my fault the kid worried. He seemed like the worrying type. It was my fault that I didn’t stop him but that was neither here nor there.

Dean grimaced at my expression and huffed through his nose.


Thank you.

Dean stepped out first and held the elevator door as Ev followed. Grabbing Ev by the scruff of his shirt, Dean yanked him back into the elevator. He glared at the kid like a wayward child being reprimanded.

“Ladies and Alphas first,” Dean growled.

Exiting the elevator, I made the turn to the familiar glass doors of the Trevelyan Dean Construction offices, ignoring the two men behind me. They’d figure it out, or they wouldn’t.

“I won’t hurt her,” Dean snarled down at the much smaller werewolf through gritted teeth before allowing the kid to leave the elevator. “Cool it,” he muttered.

Stopping in front of the glass doors, I searched inside. Tamika, the temp assistant I’d hired before I left and had stayed on through my absence, wasn’t at the desk. Without the bombardment of questions and concern I was sure I would get from her, I had a moment to think, to breathe, and remember who I was supposed to be. Not the Blushing Death, that’s for sure. I was Dahlia Sabin, officer manager extraordinaire. Sometimes, that was a harder transition to make than it should have been.

“No one’s expecting anything of you,” Dean whispered against my ear as the keys jingled in his hand. His breath was warm, caressing my skin in a soft, hot line of desire. Being this close to him and not being able to touch him was almost tortuous. His heat caressed my skin, familiar and hot.

Dean brushed his hard body against mine as he opened the doors and my skin pimpled with gooseflesh at the thought of him surrounding me in that heat. I wanted him to close that distance and wrap his large, muscular arms around me. I wanted him to tell me everything was going to be okay.

Brushing his hand across my neck, he flipped my hair over my left shoulder. His breath grazed my neck behind my ear as his fingers trailed over my skin, sending heat to pool low in my middle. His nose trailed a soft line against my flesh and up behind my ear, barely skimming the surface. Warm lips stoked my desire into a steaming hot need, forcing all thought from my mind.

“That’s not true,” he murmured into my hair. “I expect to pick up where we left off.” A low hungry growl reverberated through his chest, making my knees weak and my heart race. I reached out to steady myself, placing a flat palm against the clean, clear glass. When my body swayed, I reached out with my other hand to the stainless steel handles of the glass door and let the cold metal cool some of his heat.

Dean did things to me with his voice that he shouldn’t be able to do. I should have been scared of how Dean affected me and there was a time when I would have run for the hills rather than face what was between us. Not now. Not ever again.

“We’re in public,” I chastised.

“Don’t care,” he answered with a deep, hungry growl.

Arousal tingled along my skin, making me almost hum with need. Dean breathed in my scent, groaning as desire filled his nose from my heated skin and wet panties.

“Yep, right where we left off,” he teased, striding by me and into the office.

“You’re such a shit,” I spat as I followed him through the double doors.



This is two weeks in a row that I’m getting a blog out on time. How ’bout that!

Recap blog #2

Ross and I recently got back from the Romantic Times Conference and a pseudo vacation in New Orleans. The humidity was ridiculous and it was only May. I sweated through every piece of clothing I brought which was…disgusting. I can’t imagine living there in the middle of July. I don’t even want to think about it.

Anyway, we went to the aquarium, cause that’s what we do. Aquariums and Zoos. I finally broke Ross of going to Natural History Museums because how many stuffed sheep and rocks can one person look at. But I digress. At the aquarium they had an albino alligator.



Now, this is evidently a thing because not only was there an albino alligator at the aquarium, there were two at the zoo. Why? That’s my only question. Why? It’s not a Yeti for fuck’s sake. It’s a genetic mutation. I would like to point out that there were the most adorable sea otters at the aquarium which I could watch all day. Otters are hours and hours of fun.

We stayed on the edge of the French Quarter so we could practically walk everywhere which was great. However, the Quarter and especially Bourbon street get old quick. There are only so many bars situated like ice cream stands down the street, selling slushy drinks with minimal cheap liquor that a single person can take. Here’s a question. Can someone please explain to me why people feel its perfectly fine to leave trash (empty plastic cups and beer bottles/cans) on window sills and the sidewalk when there are trash cans on every fucking corner? At some point, I just couldn’t take it any more and started picking it up and throwing it away. Ross begged me to stop.

But it’s also a place where shit like this just happens in the middle of the week…


We did all the touristy stuff like going to Jackson Square and taking a cemetery tour20140510_092030

At some point I took a picture of the drainage trench in the quarter and Ross stopped, asking me what I was doing. I told him I was taking a picture of the trench.

He asked, “Why?”

I said, “Cause! Couldn’t you imagine it filled with blood? Wouldn’t that be awesome?”

He shook his head and started to walk away. “You know,” he said, “sometimes you scare me.”

Ha! I guess my mind just works in a different way. The gruesome, urban fantasy author part of me loves that kind of shit.

We did go to Cafe Du Monde and had some wonderful coffee and beignets. It was totally worth it. However, there was so much powdered sugar on those things that the entire place looked like a coke den. It was like scarface had set up shop, cause the white powder was all over the floor.



I actually got Ross to go to a plantation (I’ve included a picture of the only plantation he would go to, since it didn’t down play slavery. Me…I just wanted to see a pretty house.). Here’s a picture of him in front of the giant cyprus tree at the plantation. Isn’t he cute?




Once the convention started, it was all down to business. Ross was awesome! He helped me carry shit, he passed out excerpts for me, and went into the giant book fair to get author signatures for me while I was on the other side, signing books myself. That’s because my husband is awesome and loves me. I have no idea why. LOL!

I did have a little bit of a fangirl moment at a panel. Kim Harrison (who’s husband is awesome and I might want to be his new best friend), Kresley Cole, and Larissa Ione were all on a panel together. I won’t say that I squealed out loud but I might have shoved some smaller woman out of my way to say hello. I’m not ashamed. This picture sucks (because it is a well established fact that I cannot take pictures of people – with the exception of Ross. No other pictures of human beings turn out. Wonder why that is???) but it does prove I was there and they were there.


Florida is Hot!

I’ve been up since 3:45 am. That’s right A.M.

My flight to Tampa left at 6 in the ever loving morning and that may be the last time I do that. The first leg of the flight was fine accept for the altercation I got in with the flight attendant. I don’t understand why you can’t use your laptop during take off if you can use other electrical devices…especially when the website says you can. When I happened to bring this up to the flight attendant she didn’t seem very happy with me. Whatever! I stowed my stupid laptop and made Ross entertain me for half an hour.

The second leg of the flight was on a new airbus and they had all these pictures of how the seats had more room and were laptop friendly. WRONG! I couldn’t even open my laptop. The seats are tilted so far back that I couldn’t open it and read it. Sooooo, not lap top friendly.

Now, I’m sitting at the Marriott while Ross is at the aquarium in Tampa because…technically…this is a work day for me and we can’t check in until after 4pm. I’m stupid and feel guilty for not – I don’t know – working. I tried to go outside and work but I’m freakin’ pale and the sun here is BRIGHT! It’s only 70 outside and it’s already HOT! This doesn’t bode well for the next few days. I’m going to be tweeting all weekend with fun pictures from my vacation days.  Look for Disney pics @suzannemsabol. Today, however, is going to be a sad work day which will last long into the evening since the event I’m here to host doesn’t even start until 9pm and goes through midnight. You math is correct, I’ll be awake and “functioning” from 3:45am through after midnight. Maybe I can stay up for 24 hours straight. That should be fun. Riiiiiiight.

Pray for me. Hell, pray for Ross. He’s the one who’s going to need it.


I’ve Gone Down a Rabbit Hole!

BUZZFEED! ARGH! What have you done to me? Everyday, there is a new quiz to take provided by buzzfeed and I can’t help myself! This morning it was “Which Jane Austen Hero is your Soul Mate?” I got the following answer:

You got: Mr. Edmund Bertram


Your soulmate is also your best friend. Edmund will always listen to you and be a shoulder to cry on – and he’ll know just how to cheer you up, too. Sure, he can be a bit serious, but he has strong values, which you can’t help but admire. We’ll just ignore the whole cousins thing, shall we?

The worst part is their right! and they’re right every time. I can’t help myself. It’s like a sickness. Yesterday it was “Which Real Housewife are you?” I got:

You got: NeNe Leakes

You are the real deal. You are not here for bullshit, you are not here for haters, and you most definitely do not have time for clownery. So while people are running their mouths, you are running to the bank, depositing a TRUMP CHECK, hunny. Girl, bye.

And that’s just this week! There are some that I take and don’t post, mostly due to shame but everytime I see a buzzfeed quiz…I have to take it.