I don’t know why my husband and I think we can fix this shit. Its like asking Lucy and Ethel to do home improvement. It can only end badly.
All I wanted was a simple screen door on the back door. That’s it, not something complicated like a storm door. We wouldn’t even need help to install it. Just a cheap’o wood screen door. Yeah right!
First, putting up this screen door would have been easy if our house wasn’t slanty. And really, we should have known better from the get go than to expect something to work right. A regular door and the corresponding threshold is in the shape of a rectangle. Ours, however, is in the shape of a rhombus. A damned RHOMBUS! So my husband and I spent the weekend sanding and painting this stupid door. Only to find out when its all done that it doesn’t fit. So, AFTER its all painted, my husband starts sanding down the sides to make it fit. As you can see, this ruined our paint job.
You can also see how the constant shaving caused some of the lines in the door to be uneven. I think this is due more to the tool my husband used (which looked more like a cheese grater than the tools I’ve seen on New Yankee Workshop). It’s especially noticeable at the corners.
Second, We decided it probably wasn’t a good idea to paint through the screen for the cross bars on the back side. Yeah….look how that turned out.
This looks absolutely ridiculous but it’s up now which makes painting it and correcting the mistake that much more difficult.
Third, as we were peeling the painter’s tape from the screens, we ran into a slight problem. We’d thought enough ahead to keep the screen from getting gunked with paint. That, at least, we’d done right. However, upon peeling the tape back, it wasn’t coming off clean. I’ve come to the realization that painter’s tape is stupid and doesn’t really work correctly. I’ve never had it work as it’s intended and not destroy the lines on the wall. NEVER!
At some point, I get the great idea to get the box cutters to cut the tape and paint apart. Honestly, I don’t know why he even lets me near home improvement project. This turned out to be a bad idea about 15 seconds in. If you look closely enough on the left hand side of the middle section, you can see the cellophane tape I used to hold together the hole I sliced through the screen.
Seriously! It’s like a sitcom. This took us three days. THREE DAYS to fuck up! Next is the side yard and some landscaping. If I could keep anything alive this wouldn’t be so bad but I’ve already killed my share of plants.
About 3 years ago, my husband and I bought our first house. We looked at alot of houses. I don’t like the suburbs. Having grown up in the country, I wanted to be as close to the city and downtown as possible. We looked in Grandview, Clintonville, and finally German Village. We ended up getting our first home just outside of German Village in Shumacher place.
We like to call it “ghetto adjacent”. But we are downtown, we have a yard the size of a yoga mat, and we have 2000 square feet in a lovely victorian brick home. Upon moving in, we discovered several things.
1. None of the floors are level. They slope and curve as the house has settled. You may say, “So what.” This however, has several implications. First, a line of bookcases along the wall do not sit evenly. Each one of them needs to be shimmed at different levels. This makes the bookcases, at best, precarious and at worst, dangerous. The last bookcase, we got at a different time because we couldn’t fit them all in the car. The repercussions of this is that we couldn’t bolt it to the rest. Below is the result. Also, that’s right. Those are my Minnie ears. And you know what? They’re not my only pair!
2. There is no subfloor. This means that if the light is on in the basement, you can see it through the slats above in the dining room. HA!
3. The walls are not flat…any of them. They are plaster and who ever did it must have been cross-eyed to the point of double vision. This means that hanging pictures or, really anything else is difficult. Let’s be honest, impossible.
So, we took this house on, understanding that there were some updates that needed to be done. So far, we’ve replaced about half of the windows (we couldn’t afford to do all of them), replaced some plumbing in the downstairs bathroom (it was galvanized pipe and wouldn’t fit any of the shower fixtures we bought), we’ve redone the kitchen (during that process we discovered one wall didn’t have studs – just two sheets of dry wall and then brick), and now its time for the garage.
The shenanigans have already begun. We’ve had to replace the door since we “accidentally” broke the window in the entry door. Glass is at this moment precariously situated in the door with painters tape holding it together as we wait for Lowe’s to come and install a new door. Although, its not like the thing was keeping out intruders or robbers before the glass got broken. Next, the garage roof which hasn’t been replaced in…oh, I don’t know – since the house was built in 1880. See all the up turned shingles…Yeah, that should be fun.
Stay tuned for the next installment of Adventures in the Slanty Shanty!
I’d explicitly told her to stay clear of Crimson but there she was bright as a searchlight. She wouldn’t listen, doing whatever the hell she wanted, regardless of the consequences or the danger.
I zeroed in on her scent, a luscious mix of lust, determination, and the playful smell of . . . dahlias, following her through the crowd like a homing beacon locked on target. There were too many of the colony around tonight and even fewer I trusted. Too many would run as quick as they could to Ethan, ensuring her death.
She glided through the crowd, shifting her body with ease, avoiding contact as she sashayed those damned tempting hips back and forth. My mouth watered. What I wouldn’t give to taste her, really taste her. The rich iron of her blood on my tongue mixed with the sweet salt of her pussy. Damn her!
She was running from me. I wasn’t stupid. The woman glanced over her shoulder one too many times to not be running from me. Don’t run! Don’t make me chase you! Reaching out with a quick flick of my wrist, I clutched her biceps, feeling the hard muscle tighten in my grasp as she tensed. I spun her around to face me, staring down into those ferocious, storm gray eyes. Meeting my gaze without a flinch or fear, she lifted her cute little chin in defiance.
Brave! My little Blushing Death was always brave.
Only a breath away, she radiated heat like a furnace. Warmth coated my cold skin and soaked into me, making my insides burn with need, hunger and something else I couldn’t identify. All I knew was I didn’t want to think too hard about it. Glancing down at her full lips, I choked on a groan. It wouldn’t take much for me to close the distance between us, to press her curvaceous body against mine and devour her mouth.
“We should stop meeting like this,” she purred in a raspy voice that made my fingers itch to skim across her warm skin. “We should stop meeting period.”
Her voice was void of any emotion, but her heart . . . her heart couldn’t lie, beating a steady pulse at her neck. The quick thump, thump, thump rang in my ears like a cadence to arms, making my cock stiffen against my thigh.
“I don’t like that option,” I growled. I couldn’t stop the sound from reverberating in my chest. The thought of never seeing this woman again, made something inside me tremble. The thought of the Blushing Death dead or using that saucy mouth on another man’s cock sent a fire through me I hadn’t felt since I was human.
“I don’t really care what you like,” she snapped. A lie. I could taste her fabrication in her scent and the steady pulse at the base of her neck.
I yanked her to me when she struggled from my grip, gaining ground. I couldn’t let her get away. Who knew what or who was waiting for her in one of the dark corners of this club?
“Jesus,” she gasped, her breath hot and delicious across my lips.
“I think you do care,” I rasped, inching my lips closer to her delectable mouth. I smirked at the desperate yearning shining in those stormy gaze. Her eyes widened and her whole body tensed in my arms as her entire being went on alert. She glanced over my shoulder, beyond me as if I wasn’t her concern. Her heart rate skyrocketed beating a heady, intoxicating beat along her long, slender neck. Gooseflesh spread across her skin, covering her from head to toe as she shivered.
Catching Alejandra’s scent behind me, details began to click into place. The spicy scent of Alejandra’s skin filled my nostrils for a moment, drifting on the flow of oxygen from the vents above and then it was gone. Of all the people behind me, in the club, Dahlia Sabin had picked out a vampire.
She glanced up at me as if nothing had happened. Gripping her other bicep in my hand, I lifted her and shoved her into the wall a few feet behind her. Unable to keep the anger or the gut wrenching fear from my movements, I slammed her weaker, all too human body into the cinder-block.
“You can feel us?” I snarled. My instincts screamed at me to drink her, warning me she was too dangerous. Another voice in the back of my mind laughed, relishing the fact that one of the lambs was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. “Who are you? What are you?” I asked, gritting my teeth.
“Let me go,” she snarled, struggling against my hold. The sweet intoxicating scent of her fear filled my nose and tingled along my senses as her deep eyes darted everywhere but at me. My cock was so hard I ached for release. I wanted nothing more than to thrust deep inside this woman, command her, possess her . . . tame her.
Suddenly, as she squirmed and avoided my gaze, I understood. She didn’t know. Whatever she was and whatever power she possessed, the Blushing Death had no idea.
I could no longer contain the unfamiliar heat of lust sweltering across my skin. Closing the distance between us, I devoured her in a hot crush of lips. May Hell consume me! The vixen wrapped those long, luscious legs around my waist and clenched me to her, cradling me in her heat. Slipping my hands underneath her firm muscular ass, I held her pressed against the wall, holding her firm against my body. I sunk my fingers into the warm, exposed flesh of her ass underneath the dress. Her skin was soft as silk and the muscles beneath hard like iron.
She wrapped her arms around my neck and sunk her fingers into my hair, scraping my scalp with her nails. Her lips caressed mine, her tongue plunging into my mouth and scraping the delicate flesh against the tips of my fangs. Damnation!She tasted of sunshine and Heaven. Or what I imagined Heaven to be.
Cupping her soft, exquisite face in my hand, I pressed my aching cock into the cradle of her heat, stroking her body into a frenzy of delicious, intoxicating arousal. This woman was intoxication in my arms, dangerous in the best possible way, and I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted any woman. I kissed her as if she mattered to me, licking the inside of her mouth, tasting liquid bliss. A sudden realization spread over me like wildfire, rattling me to my core. Dahlia Sabin, the Blushing Death, did matter to me.
I broke the kiss, using all my strength of will to put distance between us, even if it was only centimeters. A human. The Blushing Death in particular, mattered to me.
“She’s coming back,” she whispered against my lips. Her warm breath caressed my skin like hot velvet and I licked my lips to catch another taste of her. “We’re about to be discovered,” she warned.
She had no idea how close to danger we were. Ethan wasn’t far behind Alejandra and he wanted Dahlia for his own reasons. Reasons he refused to divulge to me or anyone else. We were moments from being discovered and then the Blushing Death would be in Ethan’s hands and not mine. I’d convinced myself that if I kissed her, really kissed Dahlia Sabin, I could forget about her and walk away. I would be able to let Ethan have her and use her as he wished.
“That was supposed to cure me of you,” I admitted, wanting more. So much more.
“How’d that work out for you?” she snorted, a smirk cresting her lush, swollen lips. She was making a joke and I just wanted to kiss that damned smirk from her mouth. There wasn’t time to do it properly.
Releasing my grip on her warmth, she slid down the length of my body and caressed the long length of my engorged dick on her way down. A groan vibrated up my throat as the friction made my entire body shiver in pleasure. With a quick glance over my shoulder at Alejandra, I snatched her hand in mine and took off through the crowd, dragging her behind. Ethan and Alex were too close for me to protect the Blushing Death without revealing my hand. I couldn’t think with the smell of her arousal burning a hole through my nostrils and the taste of heaven still tingling on my tongue. I couldn’t outwit Ethan with images of Dahlia Sabin writhing beneath me filling my brain, of her naked body riding me, of the look on her face as I sunk into her body with my dick and my teeth. I couldn’t concentrate with my cock throbbing from want of her, and the fear of losing her sitting like a brick in my gut. It was now or never.
It’s all fun and games until a dismembered hand gets nailed to your front door.
When a woman is mutilated and murdered steps from her home, Dahlia Sabin is thrust into the middle of a territorial vampire war with a target on her back and an assassin on her trail.
A 500 year old vampire ninja assassin is unleashed on the city to claim Dahlia’s head, she has to convince the men in her life to work together before Midnight Ash can claim their prize. Animosity and jealousy sink Dahlia deeper into the werewolf Pack.
In her race to uncover the plot behind Midnight Ash, Dahlia is confronted with old arguments, forgotten traumas and a new complication in the tempting Pack Alpha. As she’s driven further into the supernatural world, Dahlia is torn between the the vampire she loves and the primal pull of the Pack.
If Dahlia can’t stop Midnight Ash before blood is spilled, she may never find out who has a contract out on her head, what they hope to gain, or if she’s strong enough to survive losing everything.
Dahlia Sabin is Fertiri, carrying both the ancient magic of the grave and the primal power of the Pack. She’s marked for death by her enemies, protected by the vampire liege in love with her and the Pack Alpha infatuated by her. Strays have moved into the city, terrorizing the innocent and leaving mutilated bodies in their wake as a message that no one is safe.
Hot on the Strays’ trail, Dahlia must stop them before they can destroy the Pack and rule it as their own. As her life crashes and burns around her, Dahlia has to put all her inner turmoil aside and become the Blushing Death to protect the people she loves. If she can’t expose their plans, she could lose everything and her most fearsome enemy is still hiding in the shadows…