I’m going to tell you a little story.
My first year of college, I was living in the dorms and my room mate had gone home for the weekend. It was siblings weekend so my brother came up to sleep in the dorm and act like an 18 year old when he was really only 14. I don’t remember doing a lot of horrible stuff. We did have some alcohol, as youths are prone to do when left on their own. For the sake of my brother’s privacy and embarrassment, he will not be named. However, he still thinks this shit is funny, so fuck it, Michael (and I’m your big sister so I’m going to continue to call you Michael and not Mike for the rest of your life…because I can)- you’re about to be outed.
The one thing I do remember from that weekend was that my brother’s feet were THE most vile things I’d ever smelled. I don’t know what his socks were made of but we had to throw them away. We literally took them down the hall and tossed them in the trash can in the hallway.
It didn’t matter though. Whatever chemical reaction that transpired between his disgusting 14 year old feet and those socks, had permeated through the hallway and tainted the very air. I lived on the first floor next to the lobby and all weekend people strode through the lobby and were commenting “What the hell is that smell?”
Well, it was my brother’s feet.
I would also like to point out that I, and to put that into a bit of perspective, can’t smell. It has to be incredibly strong or right up in my face. I’ve literally walked by dead skunks on the road and not smelled them. I, however, distinctly remembering being on the verge of vomiting in the presence of that smell. So, if I was sick over it, what must other people have experienced?
So, what does this, gross but hilarious, story have to do with anything?
Here’s the thing. Genetics are funny. My daughter has inherited that weird stinky feet gene. She’s five! We were washing her sneakers every day. Spraying them with deodorizers. Anything we could think of to get it to stop. You could smell her feet when her shoes were still on. Everything she put her stinky feet on was contaminated. I pulled out her yoga mat the other day to do yoga and the minute I put my face on the mat, I smelled her gross feet.
I started to think that maybe it was her feet but maybe the socks or shoes too. I vaguely remembered that my brother had been wearing a pair of my Dad’s black dress socks. Why? I have no idea. I started investigating her socks. Were they natural fibers? How much polyester was actually in them?
Here’s the thing. Almost all the socks that we were buying and available at my local Target – because that’s the only place I actually go – were all polyester, or spandex, or something else. None of them had any real cotton in them.
These are way more than I ever wanted to pay for any of her socks. But, they are more than 70% cotton. Which has made a world of difference. Her feet haven’t turned into a sewage cesspool since we changed the socks over.
Plus, when you order socks, they donate socks to homeless shelters. It makes me feel like I’m doing something responsible.
I’m giving you a chance to get 25% off. Click the button below if you’re interested.
Full disclosure – I get a kickback if you do…money toward more socks. I’d like to keep my daughter’s feet from stinking up my house, her kindergarten class, my car, and basically any other environment she encounters.
What have we learned here? Well, a few things:
- natural fibers are better
- Cheaper isn’t always better
- You never know what weird shit is going to turn up in your kids