I’ve been away for about a week now and I apologize for that. However, I have a pretty good excuse. I’ve been flat on my back since Sunday. In fact, I’m lying on the floor right now while typing this.

I’ve basically felt like this all week. At the beginning of the week, it was bad. I was literally crawling, on hands and knees through the house because that was the only way I could get from A to B. My daughter kept following me around talking about how she was going to pet me like the kitten. All I can say is that if she didn’t look exactly like me, I sure as shit would know she was my kid from statements like that one.

On monday we went to urgent care and they gave me an anti-inflammatory, pain meds, and the usually blissful muscle relaxers. Only problem, they weren’t working. None of it! None of it was working. I called the urgent care and told them it wasn’t working and they told me to go to the ER. Fuck that! I’m not spending an entire day at the ER. Here’s the thing, OSU is real good about seeing you in a timely manner. They’re not so good at releasing you. If you spend five hours in the ER, four of those are waiting for discharge papers.

I managed to get an appointment for the next day at the dr.’s office. Miracle of miracles. This leads to X-rays, which leads to physical therapy, meanwhile, I’m only really able to walk for more than ten feet today. Also, my doctor is super stingy with the work releases. She wrote me one on Wednesday, knowing that I couldn’t walk and that the meds weren’t doing anything. Then for friday when the physical therapist said I should stay home and rest, buildup my maneuverability, and endurance…but not for Thursday. What the hell do you think I was going to do on Thursday if I couldn’t go to work on Wednesday and Friday? Somehow, miraculously, thursday was fine. Whatever!

So, what I’ve learned this week is that my daughter is actually really patient. That my husband loves me unconditionally. You realize this when they have to pull you up off the toilet because you can’t do it yourself or wash your hair for you because you can’t. I’ve also learned that the floor in the living room is way more comfortable than the floor in our bedroom. I think they skimped on the padding under the carpet in the bedrooms. Good to know. Also, that the hallway bathroom is easier to get up from than my master bath. And easier to flush. I’ve also learned that the cat will take any opportunity to get up in my face and lying on the floor just gives him more time to pester me.

I don’t like this and I’m ready to be mobile again.