I cannot resist an open bar. It’s like free and how do you turn free down?

This weekend, we went to Wheeling for my brother’s wedding. It was lovely and we had a great time. However, we made poor choices. When I say “we”, per se I really just mean me.

First, as we left Columbus, it took us an hour and 45 minutes to get to a point where we gave up and went to a Frisch’s for dinner on our way out of town Friday night. There was a huge accident on 70, so the ramp and the actual highway were shut down…right as we were about to get on it. Honestly, considering the five people who drove on the side of the road to bypass the traffic – idiots – I’m not surprised there was an accident. What I learned from this trip; don’t drive on 270 and 70 at rush hour if you can help it. Those stupid people will kill you.

Frisch’s dinner, poor choice #1.

Second, the next morning we went to Perkin’s for breakfast. On it’s own, Perkin’s is fine. In combination with the rest of my choices over the weekend, it’s simply a notch in the poor choices train. Poor choice #2.

For lunch, we drove around looking for …something…to eat. We settled on DiCarlo’s pizza in a rush as time before the wedding started ticking down. We still needed to get ready, take showers, you know all the things that make people presentable. I scarfed down a piece or two and then jumped in the shower. We all managed to make it on time. Poor choice #3.

Then there were cookies at the reception. Poor choice #4.

Then there was the open bar. Are we up to #5? Yeah, that’s not good.

Then there was Denny’s for breakfast the next morning. Poor choice #6.

At some point yesterday, my insides said, “ENOUGH” and basically melted inside my body. My intestines fell out of ass in slow, uncomfortable increments. Scarlett kept wondering where I was going and finally followed me into the bathroom. She asked me, “Mommy? Are you pooping?”

I said, “I guess you could call it that.” She didn’t understand.

Ross asked me what was wrong with me and I replied, “My insides are rebelling against me. They’ve decided that they want out.”

This lasted pretty much all day.

What have I learned?

Lesson #1 – Um, stay away from an open bar. Let’s be honest though, I have zero impulse control so we all know that’s not happening.

Lesson #2 – Maybe some moderation in choosing restaurants. But again, there were very few options open to us at the time. So, that probably won’t happen either.

Can I just blame this on a situational circumstance? Yeah, I think I’m going with that.