I would have done this blog post on Monday but I needed a few days to decompress and really work through everything. This is going to be a long one and I’m sorry but there’s a lot to unpack here. For those of you that haven’t seen it yet, here is your warning…

SPOILER ALERT!!! SPOILER ALERT!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!

Okay, now you can’t say I didn’t warn you.

1. This was a stupid plan. We’ll take like seven guys, go up into the snow beyond the wall and catch a straggler zombie. Ummmm, there are no stragglers cause they work in a hive mind. There’s an army. It’s not like one of them is going off to pee somewhere and you can ambush them. What the ever loving fuck were you thinking?
2. The interchange between Tormund and the Hound may be the best dialogue EVER! See for yourself.

3. Is Gendry the Flash? Seriously. They walked through the North for a couple of days and he RUNS back to Eastwatch in like a couple of hours. Not only that. Does he have some internal GPS system that tells him exactly where to go because I’m gonna be honest with you, the North is like my suburban nightmare…it all looks the same.

4. I never wanted to smack the Hound more. What the hell are you doing throwing a rock at the army of the dead. They’re just waiting for the ice to harden. You can’t be this fucking stupid? I mean I guess you are but then how did you survive so long? Cause the only people left are the smart ones.

5. Where the hell did Ben Stark come from? I haven’t thought about him in like three years and he just happens to be around to save Jon from an army of dead guys? Nope.

6. Here’s where I might shed a tear. I knew it was coming. I did. When Cerci’s arrow thingy failed and you start thinking about Jon being both Fire and Ice, a dragon was bound to go down. You also had to up the stakes. If a dragon could come and just burn the entire dead army in one shot then there’s no conflict. There has to be a way to kill a dragon. But still. I might be more upset about the death of a dragon than anyone else. Except Drogo. I’m still mourning that shit.

7. How is Jon Snow still alive. He falls into a freezing lake with some night walkers, manages to escape and pull himself out. The weight of water logged fur cloaks should have pulled him down to the bottom. I don’t care who you are. Then he rides to Eastwatch on Ben Stark’s miraculously timed horse to be saved. The cloaks have to be broken off of him because they’re so frozen. Why aren’t we peeling layers of skin off of him?

8. One last thing.

a. How did they get the chains around the dragon’s neck?

b. Where the fuck did they get the chains? Were they just carrying gigantic chains around with them? Just in case…