I can’t tell you how excited I was when I saw the vague promo for the new Disney cartoon, the reboot of Duck Tales. Way too excited for a grown up, that’s for damned sure.

When Duck Tales originally aired in 1987 and I was 9. Whew, that makes me feel better. I really thought I was way older than that. I had a moment of panic when I thought I was going to have to reveal that I was 17 when it aired. Let’s be honest though, I still would’ve watched it. It was AMAZING! I might have watched a few episodes when I got Netflix a year or so back. Please don’t judge. Actually, judge. I don’t care.

I loved the intro and I’m not going to lie to you. I sang along and even remembered all the words.

So, Saturday was the big day.

I was . . . disappointed.

First, Huey, Dewey, and Louie sound like teenagers. What the hell? I don’t really know who the hell thought that was a good idea but it wasn’t. I don’t really want to think about teenage ducks and all their angsty hormones. I just don’t.

Second, Scrooge McDuck’s voice is wrong. It’s just WRONG! Ross said that the guy who did the voice originally is probably dead. And you know what I say to that?! The dude who did Mickey Mouse’s voice is dead but we keep perpetuating that high-pitched nasal voice all over the planet. I want my saucy deep-voiced rolling brogue Scrooge McDuck. DAMN IT!

Third, why does Mrs. Beakley look like a militarized version of Nurse Ratchet? There’s really nothing else that goes with that. Just. Why?

Fourth, Donald Duck was in a suit. He was trying to get a job. I don’t really know what Donald does for a living and never really gave it much thought. But a suit? With a tie? Something about that just doesn’t sit right. I guess I always thought he was a sailor. You know, cause of the shirt. I was always more concerned about why Donald never wore pants than his job. I feel like he should wear pants. Also, Why does Mickey wear shorts but no shirt. THERE’S NO CONSISTENCY!

So, there you have it. I might get used to it. I’ll just have to keep watching and see if it takes. LOL.

Woohoo!